


The Niam Diaries

by leonpaladin



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-17
Updated: 2013-04-16
Packaged: 2017-12-08 17:34:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 54,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/764107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leonpaladin/pseuds/leonpaladin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zac Michaels was just an ordinary teenager. But then, he meets Niall Horan and now, he's ready to turn the world upside down just so Niall could get his happily ever after. Will he succeed or will he end up in misery as well?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue || A Diary In The Library

**The story that follows is pure fiction…**

A student walked through the halls of the public library in their city of San Francisco. It was the first week of February and their subjects in school had a load of homework piled up on all its students. From his pocket he fished out his wallet and checked if the two tickets were still there.

With a sigh of relief, seeing that the two concert tickets were still there - one for him and one for his best friend who got him hooked up on this new boyband from the UK - he tucked them gently back into his wallet and stuffed it back into his pocket and made his way to get some books for his homework.

As he was browsing the geography section, there was a thin book that caught his eye. He grabbed it and found out that it wasn't a book about geography but a diary instead. He flipped the pages, finding the penmanship very nice and he thought it was a girl's diary.

A piece of paper tucked in it fell to the floor and he picked it up. It was the same nice handwritting but it told him that it was a boy's diary and not a girl's. But this time it was a bit hurried and he could tell that by the smudges on the sides of the paper.

Maybe it was some sort of secret notebook about strange secret societies or a diary retelling the tales of creatures that only existed in TV shows he watches? But as he read the note, it told him to expect something else:

_To whoever has found my diary,_

_Hey there! I have been writing in these here diary since my English teacher in third grade, Mr. Lambhur (I know, it’s a weird name) had us write stuff about our daily lives. This diary’s special to me in a way you wouldn’t imagine. To be clear to you, I’m a guy and I’m married._

_I left this diary in the public library so that I can share with you the story of two amazing people. Ever since that day at the nursing home, my life wasn’t the same again. It changed the way I looked at love and helped me find the one I will spend the rest of my life with, and I have to thank those two people for that._

_Anyways, here it is. I hope you stay and read it till the very end._

_Yours truly,_

_Zac Michaels_


	2. One || The Fateful Meeting

**_August 16_ **

_Dear Diary,_

_Ugh. I have to write on you again. Mr. Lambhur (why is he still my English teacher?! I’m like in the seventh grade!) still gave me a B- on the last one I’ve submitted. Anyways… tomorrow is my birthday! Happy Birthday to me! I know that I’m too excited – it’s not like I’m 18 or anything – but everybody’s avoiding me these past few days so I’m guessing they have a surprise for me._

_16 years of age may not be that meaningful to celebrate but I know my mom and I’m willing to bet anything she has planned something already._

_By the way, our art class teacher, Miss Lillian, couldn’t wait and gave me a gift right after our class (she’s the best teacher ever – and her British accent totally rocks!). I stuffed it inside my bag so that mom wouldn’t notice it when I got home. Her gifts were pretty obvious but still thoughtful – a sketch pad and charcoal pencils._

_I know that this next one is too private to tell anyone but you’re the best one to tell it to. I asked Dorothy if she wanted to go to the movies this Friday night and she said yes! I’m so excited… gotta go. Mom’s calling me down for dinner._

_Zac._

**_August 20_ **

_Dear Diary,_

_I haven’t written on you for a few days so let me do a brief summary of what has happened:_

  * _My birthday was awesome! I had the best gifts in my life. Uncle Jamie bought me the acoustic guitar I’ve always wanted and the best part, dad said he will buy me a car when I turn 18! How cool is that?_
  * _I had a great time with Dorothy last night. She even kissed me good night. I felt a bit dizzy after it and I still am._
  * _My sister, Grace, and I are going to the nursing home today. A little bit of social work doesn’t hurt, does it?_



_Alright, gotta go…_

_Zac._

_Dear Diary,_

_I just met the most awesome person in my entire life! So were at the nursing home right now and an hour ago I was playing and singing some songs with my guitar for the seniors and after my mini-concert, one of them came up to me and had a little chat._

_His name is Niall. He’s not that old – he’s thirty six. He’s not from here and has no family left so the people here at the nursing home took him in. To say the least, he still has that amazing voice. It was like listening to Michael Buble and… wait for it… he plays the guitar. He does all that wicked moves that even I can’t do. Mind you, he still handsome as any eligible middle-aged man (not as handsome as me though)._

_He’s off to the grocery store with some of the other workers here at the nursing home so I thought I would write for a while. The other seniors are having their siesta hour so no one would bother me right now._

_The most interesting thing about him is that even though we just met, the two of us were so connected already. He even told me a story (he didn’t finish it but he promised to continue when he got back) about his first love who turned out to be his only love even until now. It was a bit weird at first but as he continued on with story, I kinda liked it. So here goes…_

**Niall’s POV**

 

“Hurry up, Nialler! Don’t be too soggy – lighten up! You happen to love parties!”

 

Louis kept tugging me towards the door. Even with Harry pushing my back, they still couldn’t force me outside. “But I don’t want to go…” I moaned. Harry stopped pushing and faced me. “And why not?” he said, raising his eyebrow. “Tell me a good reason why and we’ll leave you be.”

 

I stared at the two of them. There was no way I could convince them not to take me to that party – that stupid party where all the popular people are invited. But still, I wished my reason would work. “Alcohol is bad for me,” I finally said.

 

Louis raised his eyebrow, “Really? Since when have you stopped drinking?”

 

“Since now?” I answered unsurely.

 

“Uh-huh… Niall, what’s the matter? You’re not yourself lately.” Louis’ tone changed and I knew what that meant. Harry leaned on the wall and closed his eyes. “We’re going to be late…” he murmured. Louis shot a look at him. “Better late than to find our roommate in the bathroom covered in blood.”

 

I suddenly winced. Was I that close to suicidal?

 

“Louis, you’re reading too much of those stories in the internet,” I argued.

 

Louis sighed. “Please, Niall. Just come with us – you can stay in the car if you like and bring your laptop so you can watch Toy Story or whatever you are watching.”

 

That was it. Harry and I both know that we couldn’t resist Louis’ pleads. But his pleads weren’t the only things Harry couldn’t resist – I can hear the two of them moaning every other night, cursing, and shouting each other’s names. The quickest remedy I could whip up to that was to pop on my earphones to my ears and fall asleep afterwards.

 

“Fine. I’ll go… I’m just going to get my laptop.” I went upstairs to my room and stuffed my laptop to the first bag I could find. When we got into the car, Louis and Harry started interrogating me. I just knew it was a bad idea to go with them.

 

“So Niall, is anything bothering you?” Louis glanced at me while driving.

 

I lowered my head so he would see my expression. “You know what’s bothering me…” I bit my lip, fumbling with the edge of my shirt. “I’m not as good-looking as you two are. Not that popular either.”

 

Harry sighed and turned to me. “Nialler, don’t mind what they say. Just be yourself.”

 

I shook my head and looked at him, my eyes were stinging already. “I can’t do that,” I said. “Being myself doesn’t go with the social convention. The world doesn’t accept me until I become acceptable to the world. I’m a loser, an idiot who believes on what everyone says…”

 

“Niall, please…”

 

My phone sounded. I picked it up from beside me and read the message. It was from my classmate, Zayn.

           

**_Going to the party, nialler?_ **

 

I groaned and texted him back:

 

**_Please don’t tell me you’re coming too…_ **

He replied as quickly as possible. _Well, someone’s excited._

 

**_Yep, and I’ve brought someone with me_ **

 

 _That’s not unusual_ , I thought.

 

**_Like a date? Wow…_ **

 

“Who’s that?” asked Harry.

 

I showed him the phone. “It’s Zayn.” My phone sounded again.

 

**_Her name’s Perrie. She’s in my Trigonometry class_ **

 

I rolled my eyes. Zayn really knew how to swoon the ladies, no matter how hard they are to get. Before I could even reply, he texted again.

 

**_Okay… there’s a problem…Perrie says her cousin’s coming with us_ **

 

I started to laugh after reading his text. Looks like his date has a chaperone. His plans are most probably thwarted by the chaperone’s addition to the equation.

 

**_I know you’re laughing…stop it._ **

 

“Are you going mental, Niall? You started laughing for no reason.” Louis glanced at me again and then turned left to the curve. “Want me to call the asylum?”

 

I kept my eyes on my phone. “It’s Zayn… he says his date brought a chaperone.”

 

Louis and Harry started laughing as well. “Aww. Too bad. No getting down and dirty for him tonight.” I didn’t miss Harry’s quick glance at Louis. “And you two will?” I quickly said. Harry blushed deep red and fixed himself to his seat. Louis coughed and pretended not to notice. The awkward silence means yes, I guess.

 

“Did I just pluck a nerve there?” I asked, smirking.

 

“Shut up, Niall.” said Harry. Then and there, I just found a great way to shut them up.

 

When we arrived at the venue, the party has already started. Louis and Harry launched as a surprise attack on me and started to drag me out of the car. Harry said it was their retribution on me for being so nosy about their steamy sessions in bed.

 

I thrashed as they dragged me out, “Let go of me! And for your information, I didn’t have to be nosy to find out what you two’ve been doing at night. Your ‘oh, yes right there’ and ‘fuck, I’m close’ were so loud I bet the neighbors would’ve heard it as well!” Harry dropped me and hissed, “Shit. I knew I was too loud!”

 

A car parked behind us. The bright light from the car momentarily blinded me. The first thing I saw after some squinting was a guy almost my age. His pale face was perfectly lit by the moonlight and his brown eyes were so beautiful I thought I died and went to heaven. He combed his dirty blond hair and went closer to me. I felt my heart race faster and faster. And then, Zayn had to ruin the moment and bring me back to reality.

 

“What are you doing on the ground, Nialler?” he grinned at me.

 

I stood up from where I was laying and brushed my clothes. I noticed the guy was smiling at me. I just can’t believe his gorgeous smile and… wait, he’s with Zayn? Then that means… he’s the chaperone. “Zayn, my man! How’s it going!” greeted Harry. “Is that lovely girl with you Perrie?” asked Louis. He turned to the most gorgeous guy I’ve met, “And this must be her…um…cousin, right?” Perrie’s cousin stretched his hand towards Louis, “Liam Payne, sir.”

 

“Ah, Liam… Nice to meet you! I’m Louis Tomlinson. This is Harry Styles –” Louis wrapped his arm around Harry. “– and that cheeky, bleached blond lad over there who is practically staring at you right now is Niall Horan.” They were all staring at me at that point. I really hoped I didn’t have drool over my face.

 

Liam shook hands with Harry and then reached out for me. I hesitated for a moment and then grabbed his hand. They were so warm that I didn’t realize it was time for me to let go. “Nice to meet you, Niall.” I practically melted when he said that. Louis grinned at me dirtily.

 

“We better get inside then,” said Zayn.

 

“Niall, you can stay in the car if you like…” Louis was definitely planning something and he didn’t need to be a psychic to read my mind.

 

“That’s great! I have company here outside!” said Liam happily.

 

“Wait, what?” I didn’t know what was happening. Everything was too perfect to be real. Maybe I was still on the ground right now and I was dreaming?

 

“Yeah, let the juniors have their time alone…” Zayn got the message and decided to go with the flow. His date, Perrie, waved at her cousin as they entered the house. I wanted to glare at Louis when he looked back but instead, I smiled at him and he gave me a thumbs up before disappearing behind the door.

 

I started to stare at Liam again. I can’t help it. He was like part angel. He suddenly noticed me looking at him and then I turned around to get my laptop from the car, trying to hide my blushing face. “Do you like Toy Story?” He gasped and the next action I didn’t expect. He took my arm and started pleading to me. “Do you have all three of them? Tell me you do? Can we watch all of them?” Our faces were inches apart and I can feel his warm breath and the smell of mint toothpaste. I was having trouble to speak but still managed to say okay to him.

 

With that, we settled into the back seat of Louis’ car and one of the best nights of my life started.

 

_…That’s all he managed to tell me so far. He admitted to me he was gay but all the seniors and_

_workers here are fine about it. I’m fine about it as well. I have to say, when he was telling me about that Liam guy, there was a certain sparkle in his eyes. With how he described him, I want to meet him and see for myself._

_The part about Toy Story was funny though._

_Interestingly, Miss Lillian mentioned on one of our classes that her mother watched Toy Story with her siblings and cousins. She told us one of her mother’s cousins used to cry when watching it. I guess those movies were popular in their days._

  1. _Zac._




	3. Two || A Reason To Smile

**_August 21_ **

 

_Dear Diary,_

_A few tips when you’re at a nursing home: (1) Don’t ever close your eyes when you’re sitting on a very comfy couch; (2) Don’t ever leave your diary open for everyone to see; and (3) Don’t ever let your sister catch you sleeping with your mouth open or you’ll be famous on Instagram._

_My sister literally laughed at me the whole way home. She almost got us into an accident when she accidentally hit the horn of the car and shocked a dog that scrambled across the road. Even after church this morning, she started laughing again when my photo just had 2000 likes._

_I tackled her to the floor but all I got from that was a “What is the matter with you?” from my mother. I guess my parents talked to my sister because my picture was no longer online._

_Anyways, everybody’s asleep except for me (it’s about eleven) because I couldn’t sleep and just had to write down the next part of Niall’s story. There’s something about this that I couldn’t get my hands on. It’s like an answer was in front of me but I see it as blank, pure whiteness._

_I asked Niall if Liam had any family left but he just didn’t know. It was a long time ago and he wasn’t sure where Liam or Perrie was or even Zayn, Louis, or Harry. My sister says Niall’s making the story up but I didn’t believe her. How can someone do that so vividly and accurately that I felt I was with them in that moment?_

_I wanted to search Liam in the internet but the wi-fi here in the house has a password and my parents wouldn’t give it to me. I begged my sister too but she told me I would be wasting my time. I snapped and told her better waste my time than keep my head churning and asking questions. The main computer in the study room doesn’t require a password but I haven’t managed to sneak in there YET._

_I just have to sneak in there without my parents or my sister around. If that doesn’t work, I’m wishing that something miraculous would happen and just… argh. Anything. Just anything. An address… a letter sent to me by mistake… a late night call… a message on Facebook… a tweet on Twitter… a free ticket to wherever any of them might be! Anywhere Liam, Louis, Harry, Zayn or Perrie might be! I don’t care if it’s in Siberia or Nepal or Ireland or Australia or New Zealand or London. If I could just meet one of them and make them tell me their version of the story and tell me that everything Niall has been telling me is true, I’ll be just superb._

_I’m plotting aren’t I? After the first day of meeting Niall, my head was filled with thoughts and “what ifs”. A little too much for a teenage boy to be thinking about but, I’m sorry. My soul can’t rest until I find Liam – even if he’s still alive or is now six feet under the ground._

 

**Niall’s POV**

I woke up with the sun already rising in the horizon. It was still a bit dark outside but I feel like I’ve slept for hours. A small dot on my laptop was blinking red. I guess a Toy Story marathon drained the hell out of it. That’s when I remembered I had company with me in the car.

 

I tried to shift from my position but some kind of weight was stopping me. On my shoulder, Liam was sleeping soundly with a smile on his face. He had his arms wrapped around me and then I noticed one of his hands on top of mine.

 

Last night was great… to be completely honest, it was more than great. It was like all my worries were gone for just one night. All the problems just melted away and were replaced by happiness I can’t explain. Whenever he laughs, whenever he cries while we watched the movies, I just wished I was like him – without any worries, no insecurities at all. He was so perfect to me – perfectly imperfect – that I wanted him for myself. A little selfish, I know, but he was the only one that made me happy that much since I left Mullingar and went to study here in London. He’s the best thing that came into my life when I began my studies here besides Louis, Harry and Zayn.

 

Speaking of those three, I glanced outside and no one was in sight. They weren’t out of the house yet. I smiled. They were probably on some couch inside having the worst hangover after their fun night. I had fun last night too… fun a beer didn’t give me and won’t give me any time soon.

 

Liam began to shift and moaned. He snuggled even more on my shoulder and smiled. I didn’t want to wake him or to break from his embrace but my legs felt like it had needles stuck into it. I tried to shift without waking him but when I slid a bit after freeing my left leg from my Indian seat position, Liam wrapped himself around me even more. _Okay this is getting ridiculous_ , I thought.

 

“Liam… wake up.”

 

He replied with a groan, “Just five more minutes, Buzz.”

 

_So we’re Toy Story now… Is he doing this on purpose?_

 

“Liam, it’s me. It’s Niall.”

 

His eyes suddenly flew open. So he wasn’t doing it on purpose. Liam let go of his embrace and staggered back onto the door of the backseat. “Oh my God, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” He buried his face into his hands and was starting to get red. “This is so embarrassing…”

 

“I’m fine with it, Liam. It’s no big deal.”

 

He took a deep breath and exhaled. After that, he began staring at the roof of the car. He can’t even look at me. “Yeah but, I fell asleep on a stranger…” I frowned. Stranger? I guess that was a perfect way to ruin the start of my day. He suddenly realized what he said wasn’t appropriate.

 

“Oh… n-no. I-it’s not like that, Niall!” His hands balled up and he started biting his lower lip. “God, that was stupid! I’m such an idiot!”

 

“Tell me about it…” I murmured while slipping my laptop into the bag. “Do you want coffee? I’m gonna get some.” I slipped on my shoes and went out of the car. I can hear him scrambling behind me so I walked faster. It’s a good thing no one was around because I felt disheveled. “Niall, wait!” _It’s too late for that now_. This moment felt like all the other times before – me thinking that people wanted my company but in the end, they just want to play with my heart. Liam kept calling my name and this felt so movie-like but unlike the movies, I’m not like the girl who turns around and forgets all that has happened.

 

“Just hold on for one second, Niall… please.”

 

Why would I stop? I asked myself to give me a good reason to stop walking and face him.

 

“Buzz, can’t you let Woody –”

 

“Just stop it, okay, Liam? Look, I’m not Buzz – I’m not anything! I’m a loser and you don’t want to be seen talking to loser _strangers_ … trust me. You don’t.”

 

We were just there – silently standing in the middle of the parking lot. I wanted to run away and hide from everyone. I felt like one of those Baudelaire orphans. Liam looked at me with a sad expression. He licked his lips and then gulped. “I can’t figure out where the Buzz that was with me in that car last night went. All I can see now is someone in a deep dark hole.”

 

Liam walked close to me and placed his hands on my shoulders. His face still bore a worrisome look, “Why do you call yourself a loser, Niall? Do you think you don’t deserve friends? I think Louis, Harry, and Zayn feel otherwise. And I do too. Look, I’m sorry I called you a stranger – I’m a total ass in the morning.”

 

He smiled but I pretended not to notice. “But last night was the most fun I had in months. I never cried and laughed that much at the same time for a long time. Being with you last night was great. I know this is abrupt but… Niall, can I be your friend? I’ll understand if you don’t –”

 

“Yes.” I didn’t know what happened. I just said it. The answer just came out of my lips so quickly that I didn’t have time to think. I wanted him so badly. Everything about him was all I’ve wished for and yet a part of my brain was saying “think this through”. Hell no! I’m not overthinking this! Overthinking can make the worst out of something too and I don’t want that to happen.

 

“Really?! That’s brilliant!” His face lighted up and gave me a hug.

 

You know that expression “time flies when you’re having fun”? Well, I think it’s not always right because everything – even time itself – to me was slowing down when Liam wrapped his muscular arms around me. I wanted the moment to never end so I can smile forever. My reason for smiling now was him. I hope he’s like Louis, Harry, and Zayn who loves me as their friend no matter who I am. His warmth spread through my body like wildfire and my heart was beating faster than usual.

 

“Well, what do you know…”

 

My body froze. That sweet, cracking voice couldn’t be him. I really hoped that Louis was still snoring on the couch or bed or whatever and wasn’t here on the parking lot. The perfect moment was over, I told myself. He would be teasing me any moment now and all I could do was strangle him in my mind.

 

“Well, well, what do we have here?” Great. Even Harry was here then. That’s when I noticed that Liam still had his arms wrapped around me and mine wrapped around him. He still didn’t let go…

 

“Li, is everything all right?” I heard Perrie’s voice behind me.

 

“Everything’s fine, Chris… Just, well… um… what does it look like to you?”

 

If Perrie was here then…

 

“It’s either you were making up for something one or the other did, or this is that situation that now feels awkward because we’re here.”

 

…it figures Zayn was here as well.

 

“Thank you for pointing that out, Zayn.” I gritted my teeth. Liam and I both let go of our embrace. Zayn just smiled at me, narrowed his eyes, and held Perrie’s hand. “No problem, Niall. Anytime, bro.”

 

Louis’ phone beeped and he fished it out of his pocket. He turned to Zayn, “Care joining us for breakfast?” Zayn shook his head, “Can’t. I have to drive these two home… and I have work at ten.” Zayn shove his hand into his pocket and went for his car. He opened the door and Perrie went inside. “Liam, c’mon.”

 

Liam sighed and looked at me. I didn’t want him to go. I wanted to think he didn’t want to go either but he squeezed my hand and spoke sadly, “I guess I’ll see you some other time.” I tugged him back and he just smiled.

 

As Zayn’s car went further away, the feeling of sadness started to sink back to me. Luckily, Louis’ and Harry’s annoying questions steered me away from my misery as we got into the car. “Who’s up for Pancake House?” Louis started the car and as we were getting to the road, the hot seat began. Harry was the first to ask. We were like girls talking about our crushes. “So…anything happen last night?”

 

“Harry! It’s nothing like that!” I was starting to blush.

 

“Oh my God, did you do it?!” Harry was shrieking like a fangirl.

 

“No! Did you two?” I really hoped it would shut him up.

 

“Well, no but that’s not what we’re talking about! Spill it, Niall. Every little fluffy moment.”

 

“To be honest, we just watched all Toy Story movies last night. Nothing else.”

 

Harry’s face looked a little disappointed. I guess he really wanted something magical to happen to me. But I can see in his eyes that he still feels happy that I wasn’t that sulky anymore. They’re the best friends I could ever have. No one has ever accepted me more than him and Louis. Zayn, on the other hand, had a really hard time accepting that I was into guys. It felt weird to him at first. Every time I looked at him he always reminded me to think of our friendship. His expression was always a laugh.

 

“That’s too bad, Niall. But what was that long hug all about?” Harry gave me a toothy smile. Louis glanced at the rear mirror and smirked. “Eyes on the road, Louis.” I said. I guess there was no way I could escape this. So I told them about how Liam was sleeping beside me and had his arms wrapped around my body. How he was so embarrassed about everything and called me a stranger. And how I walked out of the car and he followed me and told me he had a great night. Harry made a noise that made him more excited about this than I was.

 

“Looks like little Nialler’s in love with Liam…” Louis was grinning at the rearview mirror, staring at me. I felt a warm feeling spreading through me like when Liam hugged me. Could one night with once a complete stranger make me fall in love with him? I’m betting I’ll be saying yes anytime soon. It’s not just because he was so handsome, he made me realize in one quick conversation that my life was worth something to other people.

 

I meant something.

 

I wasn’t a loser.

 

Liam made me see that I have friends that worry about me when I’m sad. The world hasn’t completely turned its back on me because there are people that cared. People who would be there for me whoever I am.

 

The car stopped and we were at the Pancake House. As we were eating, my phone just lighted up on the table. New number… weird. I opened the message and just stared at it.

 

**_Hellooooo? Anyone there? :)_ **

 

I raised my eyebrow. Who would text me and then add a smiley at the end?

 

**_Who is this?_ **

 

The reply didn’t mention any name but the clue was good enough.

 

**_Oh c’mon, Buzz. Forgotten about me already?_ **

 

This was too good to be true.

 

**_Liam?! How did you get me number?_ **

 

“Are you okay, Niall?” Harry popped the pancake into his mouth. “You look… on the edge.” Louis made a disgusted sound. “Harry Edward Styles don’t talk with your mouth full!” The phone beeped and Louis glanced at it. “Who’s that?” I was about to say that it was Liam when Harry grabbed the phone. “Hey! Give it back! Gimme the blasted phone, Harry!”

 

Too late.

 

Harry was already smirking at the phone. He handed me the phone happily. “Here, mate. I’m so proud of you! Making boys want you in just one night! Hands down!” I sneered at him, “He just texted me. What’s the big deal?” Louis finished off the food on his plate, “The big deal is that he’s going to the next step. Next you’ll know you and him are calling each other then, dating. After that…” Louis winked at me. “…well, you know what happens next, Niall.”

 

“Hey! How come you get to talk with food in your mouth?” said Harry.

 

“Because I top and you’re bottom, mister.”

 

Then they started arguing like an old married couple debating who gets to top tonight and fucks the other’s brain out. I returned my attention to my phone.

 

**_Zayn gave me your number… he said I would probably need it._ **

 

I made a mental note to thank Zayn some other time.

 

**_That’s great! Um… well, what do you want to talk about?_ **

 

I was anxious enough to see his reply immediately.

 

**_I wanted to ask if you were free tomorrow night._ **

 

This is it.

 

**_Why? Another round of Toy Story?_ **

 

I couldn’t think of anything else.

 

**_No. Something else maybe… 101 Dalmatians?_ **

 

I forced myself to type it.

 

**_Are you asking me out, Woody?_ **

 

I hoped it wasn’t too much.

 

**_What?! No! But… I guess you can call it that. Here at my place. You can call Zayn to drive you here._ **

 

I wanted to cry but a smile crept into my face instead.

 

**_Okay! Sounds brilliant! I’m all yours tomorrow night._ **

 

Wait. Did I just send that? Oh shit. I just did.

 

**_Yep. I get to have you all to myself._ **

 

I was looking at his reply and I was shocked. Was he flirting with me?

 

**_You did not just say that, Mr. Payne…_ **

 

Or was I getting the wrong idea?

 

**_Yes I did, Niall. <3 See you tomorrow night…_ **

 

Nope. I wasn’t getting the wrong idea.

 

**_Yeah. See you…_ **

 

I was definitely smiling right now. How did I know? First, because it’s my body and second, Louis was staring at me worriedly again, “We really need to bring you to a doctor, Niall…”


	4. Three || The Meme Theory

Why am I feeling nervous?

 

We'll just watch a movie while sitting on the couch...

 

No problem.

 

I rang the doorbell.

 

I was all alone on the porch.

 

Zayn already left but wished me good luck with a smug on his face as he rolled up the window.

 

Still, no one was opening the door.

 

I rang again.

 

I heard thudding sounds coming down what might have been stairs and then the door opened. My mouth flew open when I saw Liam.

 

He looked like he was just from the shower. His hair was still wet and dripping. He only had a towel wrapped around his waist so from there up, he was naked. I can't help but stare at his fit body. I wanted to run my fingers down his abs and maybe down his... I restrained myself from licking my lips.

 

He was so turning me on.

 

My blue eyes met his brown ones.

 

"Niall?" he looked confused like he didn't expect me to be there in the first place. "What are you doing here? And how did you know my house?"

 

"But you texted me and told me to come here and watch 101 Dalmatians..."

 

"What? I didn't text you... I don't even know your number."

 

Is this a joke? Because if it is, then it's not very funny.

 

I fished out from my pocket my phone and showed him the number that texted me. "Is this your number, Liam?" He took a closer look and glanced at me. "Yes but I didn't text you... I swear!" He sounded completely honest but I was already jumpy.

 

"Then who did it? Your phone wouldn't just type on its own!"

 

"After we left you at the parking lot, Zayn drove us straight home. When he dropped off my cousin he asked me if..." His eyes widened. "God no... He didn't!"

 

So it was Zayn who texted me. It figures why Liam sounded like he was flirting with me. I guess it wasn't like him to text someone... My stomach churned. I felt like an idiot coming here and disturbing Liam. I bet Zayn was laughing while this is happening to me. I gritted my teeth. Zayn Malik is gonna pay for this...

 

"Liam, I'm sorry I bothered you. I'll be going now." I started to turn around when he grabbed my hand. I felt something slippery on his. Was that soap... or something else?

 

"You're already here so... I guess I'll have to change my schedule for the night." He smiled at me. I waved him off, "Please don't ruin your plans because of me."

 

Liam raised his eyebrow, "I really hope that’s not sulking in your tone again because I thought I made it clear that you're worth something, Niall." He pulled me into the house and shut the door.

 

His voice suddenly changed, like he was mimicking someone. "Besides, it's the social convention to let a guest in and perhaps offer him a hot beverage." He smirked and giggled.

 

I shook my head and laughed. "You did not just quote Sheldon Cooper..."  Liam placed his hands on his waist. "It's Dr. Sheldon Cooper... and what's wrong with quoting a nutbag scientist?"

 

"Now, now, he's not a nutbag. His mother had him tested and in case it has slipped your mind, you standing in front of me wearing only a towel is... very..." I didn't want to tell him that it was very sexy. It might feel awkward to him.

 

He got the point and got red really quick. "Erm... I'll just put on some clothes..." He staggered on the first few flights of stairs but continued on until I heard a door close.

 

There were some muffled noises upstairs where Liam was as I sat on the couch. I swore I heard the words "stop kidding yourself" and then a loud thud, and then some cursing, and lastly a phrase that most likely sounded like "stupid cabinet".

 

I looked around the house. For someone who lives alone, Liam was a neat freak. Maybe he's the real Sheldon Cooper... I laughed at my theory. Kidding aside, everything was neatly arranged. I didn't look at it closely but I have a feeling the books in the bookshelf were arranged in a specific order. Not a mess in sight – unless you consider a half-eaten pizza and a Coke in can on the coffee table a mess. He came running down the stairs and went straight for the kitchen. His voice echoed from the kitchen, “Looks like I’ve only got hot chocolate… do you like that?” I smiled and replied, “Are we still doing that hot beverage thing?”

 

“What?” He didn’t understand at first and then I heard him laugh. “I guess so… what’ll it be, Niall?” I laid my back on the couch. “Anything. Surprise me, Liam.”

 

“Okay…”

 

Everything went silent for a while. I glanced at my watch – he’s been in the kitchen for fifteen minutes and hasn’t shown up yet. What’s he doing in there? What’s taking him so long? I closed my eyes and called out to him, “Liam? Are you alright?”

 

No reply.

 

As I sat there, hands covered my eyes. “Liam! What are you doing?” I tried to get his hands off my eyes but I just couldn’t. I felt his breath trailing down my neck and then he whispered softly to my ear, “Don’t think that I don’t know what your friends are doing…” I can’t understand what he was saying. Does he know that I like him? I started heating up when he licked my ear. A moan escaped my lips. “I suggest we do a little experiment on them…” I tried to say something but nothing came out but a slight gasp for air.

 

What sort of experiment was he talking about?

 

He let go of his hands that were covering my eyes. When I turned around, he was grinning at me. “That turned you on, didn’t it?” He handed me the cup of hot chocolate. “You did tell me to surprise you… So, what do you say?”

 

“About what?”

 

“About the experiment… You do want to get back on Zayn, don’t you?”

 

So it was payback then. To my advantage, it would definitely work.

 

“Then what was that… that thing all about?”

 

“A little preview of what the experiment would be about…”

 

I didn’t expect that someone like Liam would have a dark side too. He was so convincing with what he just did to me. It felt so real. My heart was still racing and the hot chocolate going down my throat didn’t help. Should I agree on this? I didn’t even know what we would be doing. I decided to go from the top. “Um…about what my friends are doing – how did you know that?”

 

“I had my suspicions. When you didn’t react so quickly to what Louis said, I knew you weren’t part of the plan they were conceiving… When you came here because apparently Zayn used my phone to text you, it confirmed everything.”

 

All I did was stare at him for a moment. The pivoting question in my head was: does he know? Apparently, he knew that Louis was planning something when they left me with Liam for an entire night. But did he know why they did that? Did he know that I wanted him for myself? I spoke cautiously, “And what did that confirm?” I didn’t remove my gaze on him. I waited for him to say what he had found out.

 

His lips parted and the answer came out. “They’re trying to get you and me together.”

 

From the way he said it, the words sounded very casual. No extraneous expressions on his face appeared when he said it. He was so calm as if he was fine with it.

 

“And it doesn’t bother you or anything?”

 

“My cousin has friends like you so this isn’t new to me…”

 

“Have you been in any relationship with any of them?”

 

“No. Just friends. I haven’t… well…”

 

Silence fell between the two of us. Obviously, he wasn’t into guys. I guess it’s time for me to throw away my hope that he’ll ever like me back. There was a slight discomfort in his face that made me change the subject and bring it back to the experiment thing.

 

“Care to elaborate this experiment of yours?”

 

“Are you familiar with the Meme Theory?”

 

“I’m familiar with everything but go on…”

 

That made him smile. I can’t believe we were recreating an experiment from an American sitcom. But this plan was reeking of fun that I couldn’t resist. It was time to return the favor to my three best friends.

 

 

_…mom’s knocking on my door demanding why I was still awake. I guess this would be it for this entry. Good night, diary._

_Zac._

 

 

**_August 22_ **

 

_Dear Diary,_

_Mom and Dad grounded me for staying late last night… well, that’s not the real reason why they did. While we were having breakfast this morning, mom was talking to me about why I was awake so late at night. I told her that I was writing on my diary. That didn’t really convince her…_

_“Writing on your diary that late at night? Zachary, don’t lie to me…” My mom got me cornered while she was cooking the eggs. “…what were you really doing last night?”_

_“I was writing on my diary!”_

_“Really? Show me your diary…” Her eyes were glaring at me while she placed the scrambled eggs on the plate._

_“I can’t… it’s private.”_

_“Nothing is private in this house until you’re free to go on your own!”_

_And then, my sister had to come in and burst out the truth to my parents. My father placed newspaper down at the table and looked at my sister. “Are you sure about this, Grace?”_

_“Most definitely. He’s been pestering me of giving him the password of the Wi-Fi in the house.”_

_That’s when all hell broke loose. I was grounded and if I ever stay up late at night again, I won’t be allowed to come with my sister to the nursing home. I didn’t want that to happen so I might as well oblige to their restrictions._

_On the walk to school, my sister handed me my lunch. “You forgot this…” She acted like nothing happened._

_“Why did you have to tell them? Why can’t you just keep it a secret!?”_

_“Zac, this is getting out of hand. You are meddling with other people’s lives.”_

_“Oh…the wise and all-powerful big sister has spoken!”_

_“Zachary, please! You’ll get into trouble with this you’re doing…”_

_I snapped back at her, “You’re the one who got me into trouble… have fun living with that fact.”_

_So I’m here in my room. We just had dinner half an hour ago and I left the dining table when I was finished eating. I’m gonna continue where I left off in my last entry. Why am I getting the feeling that I’m talking to someone instead of just writing in this diary? Oh well… and were off!_

 

 

**Niall’s POV**

 

When Liam’s car stopped in front of my apartment, I was hesitating to do the payback. What if something went wrong and drifts the both of us away from each other? I wouldn’t want that. I hope he doesn’t too. Liam saw my expression and tugged my arm. “Backing out already, Niall?”

 

“I’m just thinking of the possible backfires of this experiment. What if this ruins something…? I don’t know… our friendship? My friendship with my best friends?”

 

There he goes again. Liam went close to my face and sneered, “You should have probably thought of that before you shook my hand, Niall.” I turned to the window of the car and saw Harry looking out the window, trying to find out who was in the car that has just stopped.

 

Deep breath and out of the car I go.

 

When Harry saw me step out of the car, he disappeared from the window. The light on the porch brightly shined and I saw Harry’s head poking out of the slightly opened door. He got even more excited when Liam got out of the car. His grip on the door tightened and I knew he was going wild inside his head. “I can’t do this…” I muttered under my breath.

 

Liam went closer to me and said out loud so Harry could hear, “Good night, Niall.” I was going to reply but Liam leaned in and kissed me on the lips. I could hear Harry shrieking, “Louis! Damn it Louis, get your ass here now!”

 

This wasn’t part of the plan! The plan was that I’ll say “I love you” and Liam would answer “I love you too” before going back into the car. “What on earth are you shouting about, Harry? It’s late at night and – oh my God!”

 

Louis is shocked as everyone is. What is Liam doing?! I wanted to pull away but then his tongue slipped itself into my mouth and I gladly welcomed it. He pulled me closer for a deeper kiss, his tongue playing with mine. I let out a soft moan, “Liam…” He finally pulled away leaving me breathless for a moment. My word, he was great kisser. Liam was panting as much as I was. His face was deep red and he had a grin across it.

 

“This isn’t how we planned this!” I hissed at him in a hushed voice.

 

“A little spontaneity for it to be realistic…”

 

“Your tongue went inside my mouth!”

 

“And you didn’t like it?” He stared at me lustfully.

 

“I–”

 

Who was I kidding? If I didn’t like it, I would have pulled away but instead I let him continue. My head suddenly throbbed and then I winced. I turned around and started walking towards the house. “Night, Niall. I love you.” I felt a bit dizzy, my breathing was still uneasy but I managed to reply with feelings, “I love you too, Liam.”

 

When I was close to the house, I heard the car door close and engine went on. The sound of Liam’s car faded into the distance and Harry patted my back. “That was intense, Nialler! That was quicker than when Louis and I dated.” I didn’t reply. My vision started to blur.

 

I staggered when I moved my foot forward. Everything around me was moving. Everything was hazy like a fog machine just burst its contents into my vision. I held on to the door jamb and forced myself to keep standing up with no success.

 

“Niall, are you alright?” I heard Louis asking but I couldn’t answer. I felt my body fall to the floor of the porch and then there were some shouting. “Niall! Oh my God, Louis, call an ambulance!”

 

“Niall? Niall! Stay with me!”

 

Everything went black.

 

­­­------------

 

The low humming of the air conditioning system greeted me when I opened my eyes. It was hard to open them at first. It was like I was sleeping for a long time and my eyelids were only starting to reboot themselves. The place where I was right now smelled different. Come to think of it, the pillow my head was lying on right now was softer than usual. I moved my left hand and found a tube stuck into it. My eyes followed the tube to the dextrose hanging on a metal post.

 

Where am I?

 

As if it wasn’t obvious enough.

 

I turned my head slowly and saw Zayn asleep on the chair. His arms were crossed over his chest and his head was leaning on the wall. A familiar figure had her head on Zayn’s shoulder. Perrie was sleeping soundly as well. I felt something shift on my right. Harry had his head on the mattress and then he groaned and lifted his head. His face was filled with shock when his green eyes met with my blue ones. He began tearing up, his body started shaking, and then he jumped at me. “You frickin’ idiot! You’re such a… oh, Niall, don’t ever do that again!” I haven’t seen Harry cry until now. He started sniffing and sobbing while having his arms around me. Tears went down his face and he wiped them off with his hand. “Sorry about the waterworks…” After he said that, he started crying again.

 

Louis came bursting through the door making Zayn and Perrie wake up from their sleep. “Harry, what’s going on? What are you–” I smiled at Louis but he didn’t smile back. He walked briskly toward me and grabbed my shirt. Harry tried to pull him away but Louis wouldn’t budge. “Making us worry like that isn’t cool, Niall James Horan! We thought you were dying for God sake!” Louis couldn’t contain himself anymore and started crying. He let go of my shirt and wiped off his tears and sniffed. “And now you made me cry… You are merciless, Niall.” Louis smiled but the waterworks weren’t stopping. Louis sat down the chair beside the bed and stared at me while smiling.

 

I waited for Zayn to start going hysterical in front of me but he didn’t. Instead, he was still on the chair crying silently. Perrie gripped his shoulders with a sad expression on her face. “Zayn…” He still continued to cry. I glanced at Louis and Harry but they averted my gaze. “Zayn, c’mon. I’m alright now… I’m awake!” I tried to be cheerful but all I got from him were “It’s all my fault” over and over again.

 

“Zayn, this is not your fault…”

 

“Yes it is! I set you up with Liam… if I didn’t, you wouldn’t be here.”

 

I shifted from my position and tried to get off the bed. Louis and Harry reacted quickly. “Whoa, Niall, slow down…” said Louis. I smiled.  “I’m fine.” I got off the bed and grabbed the metal pole that, not surprisingly, had wheels. I walked slowly towards Zayn and then looked at Perrie. “Can you leave us two alone in the room for a minute?” She stood up and embraced me. She whispered softly in my ear, “I’m glad you’re alright, Niall. Liam would be happy to know it.” She let go of the hug and motioned Louis and Harry to come with her outside of the room. “You can’t boss us around, woman.” said Harry. Perrie raised her eyebrow, “Watch me.” She shoved the other two out of the room and then closed the door behind her.

 

I sat beside Zayn who has stopped crying but still wasn’t facing me. I placed my hand on his back and slowly moved it towards his shoulder. “Zayn, don’t blame this on yourself.” He didn’t reply. He’s too shy sometimes. He just keeps it to himself but not as much as Louis does – Louis goes way more than this sometimes. I punched his shoulder and he let out a yelp of pain. “That hurt!” Zayn growled at me.

 

“That doesn’t hurt as much as I’m hurt that you’re not talking to me, Malik!”

 

He motioned into hugging me but I stopped him. “Please, no more crying all over me until you tell me what the hell got into you pretending to be Liam!” He stared at me with his hazel eyes and blinked more than twice before answering my inquiry. “I just thought it might be a good laugh…” Zayn smiled awkwardly at me but I simply resisted him.

 

“A good laugh? Zayn, I got more than a good laugh…”

 

“I know. And now you’re here at the hospital for three days with a dextrose stuck to your hand.”

 

I bit my lip. Should I tell him? Or should I continue my payback that was interrupted for three days? Who was I kidding, I was itching to tell him. “I kissed him that night.” His eyes widened and then he shook his head. “I’m sorry?”

 

“Well, technically, it was Liam who leaned in and pulled me closer to him.”

 

“You and Liam what?!”

 

“It’s not really –”

 

“Oh my God, Niall! It worked… my plan actually worked!”

 

“And now you’re happy?! Let me tell you this, Malik, that kiss was the reason I fell unconscious!”

 

The smile disappeared from his face. “Sorry.” There was no way the payback would work anymore. I have to tell Zayn the truth before something else goes out of hand. My body didn’t take the experiment very well and broke down after the first step. I didn’t know if I could do it anymore. Here goes nothing. “It wasn’t real, Zayn.” His expression suddenly turned confused. “What do you mean ‘it wasn’t real’?”

 

“Liam already knew what you and the guys were doing. So he suggested me and him do a little experiment on the three of you. We would pretend that we were going out and then break it to the three of you that it was all _a good laugh_ …”

 

Zayn dropped his gaze upon me and looked down on the floor. I continued.

 

“…when the plan was settled, he drove me back to my apartment. We were just supposed to say I love you to each other but then he kissed me while Harry and Louis were watching. I asked him why he did that and he just said and I quote ‘A little spontaneity for it to be realistic…’ So nothing about it is real.”

 

 Zayn didn’t say anything. He was now staring blankly at the window of the room. His eyes squinted and he bit his lower lip. His hands randomly tangled on each other. He was thinking real hard.

 

“Do you think he was lying?”

 

His question wasn’t an easy one.

 

“Lying about what?”

 

“Liam said that he only kissed you because he wanted it to be realistic but what if he really did want to kiss you in the first place?”

 

“Zayn, please, he’s not into guys… unlike me.”

 

“True, but he has friends like you.”

 

“That doesn’t prove anything. You’re friends with me, Louis, and Harry but you still like girls.”

 

“You can’t generalize everything, Niall. It’s like you can’t call every guy in the world a jerk just because one broke up with you.”

 

Zayn smiled at me. We both knew he was right. The muffled voices when I was Liam’s house… the way he teased me on the couch… the way he kissed me that night. I closed my eyes. It was impossible to consider, maybe, but Zayn made his point. I was overthinking this again.

 

“How is he?”

 

I wanted to know if Liam knew that I was here in the hospital. Zayn sighed and licked his lips, “When Perrie told him what happened, he ran up to his room and locked himself there. We stayed there for a whole day before Perrie was able to convince him to come out of his room.

 

I was there and we thought he had cut himself because we heard the shower running and then some crying. Turns out he just broke down while taking a bath… He keeps asking if you were awake but you weren’t.”

 

“Is he coming here?”

 

“I don’t know. He’s too scared to see you. Liam blames himself for what happened. I guess we both were equally guilty.”

 

“Zayn…”

 

“The doctor made it clear that we were both equally guilty. He said that you fainted because of fatigue. What happened to you was very rare. The doctor said that the events of that day caused your brain to go to ‘not responding’ mode causing you to black out. He ordered no stressful activity for two weeks.”

 

The door of the ward suddenly opened and someone me and Zayn didn’t expect went inside. Liam was breathing heavily and scanned the room when he saw that the bed was empty. His eyes found mine but his expression was blank. Zayn stood up and headed to the door. “I’ll leave you two to talk.” Still not moving, I stood up and went closer to Liam. He looked like he was in pain. Whether he was restraining himself from crying or was feeling guilty again, I don’t know. “I’m glad you came.” Nothing in his expression changed although his eyes avoided my look.

 

The butterflies started acting up again. I’ve only met him for a few days and yet I felt like I spent an entire summer with him – or did I really? The thought just came into my head and I quickly discarded it. What can I tell him to ease the guilt that was hovering over him? “Liam, I hope you’re not regretting you kissing me because I don’t.” As simple as that, the butterflies flew away. Liam slowly returned his gaze to me and met with my eyes. That was the longest stare I have ever experienced before he held my face with his two hands and pulled me in for a kiss.

 

The difference between this kiss and the one that night? I didn’t want to let go. I didn’t want to pull away. His left hand tangled with my hair and I felt my head just tilt to a better position on its own. The kiss deepened into something needier but slow. I let go of the metal post and wrapped myself around him. I nipped his lower lip making him growl. Our tongues played with each other as I slowly moved my right hand to his chest.

 

Liam tugged me even more close to him and started to ease down the kiss. After what felt like forever, Liam pulled away. Our faces were still inches from each other and his warm breath mixed with mine. Still panting, Liam finally smiled.

 

“I didn’t regret it, Niall. And this time, it’s real.”

 

_Alright. That’s it for tonight. It’s already nine so I better turn in before my mother comes knocking on the door again. From now on, I’ll be hiding this diary in some place no person can find it (except me of course). I’ll be snoring now… good night._

_Zac._


	5. Four || Summer of the Past

**_August 26_ **

_Dear Diary,_

_Finally, the end of the week. Going to the nursing home tomorrow with my sister (I hope) so this entry I’ll be writing will be a short one. I don’t want my mom knocking on my door again tonight. You can call it a side story – that’s what Niall called it._

 

The playground looked deserted. No other children in sight as far as a little boy with dirty blond hair and blue eyes could see. He heard the swing creak and found another person in the playground. The other boy swung mindlessly as he stared at the afternoon sky.

 

“Hey! What are you doing here?” asked the blue eyed boy.

 

The other boy removed his attention from the sky and looked at the person that called him with his brown eyes. The brown eyed boy blinked and asked innocently, “I’m sorry… is this your swing? I-I’ll get off it if you want to. I’m really sorry for sitting on it. I-I didn’t know it was owned…”

 

“It’s not my swing… people can’t own swings. That’s not allowed.”

 

“Oh…”

 

“What’s your name? Mine’s Niall.” Niall grinned, walking towards the other boy.

 

“It’s Liam. How old are you?”

 

“Are we getting personal now?”

 

“I didn’t mean it to be that way… sorry. I’m really sorry.”

 

“You don’t have to say sorry all the time, Liam. I’m five and you?”

 

“I’m five years old too!” Liam smiled happily at the coincidence.

 

Liam stood up from the swing and went closer to Niall. “Do you live near here?” Niall shook his head. “No. I live in Mullingar, Ireland. Me and my parents are only staying here this summer…” Liam frowned. The possible friend he just found would be gone by the end of the summer. Niall took notice of Liam’s fingers fiddling. “What are you doing?”

 

“I’m just thinking…”

 

“Thinking of what?”

 

“Since you’ll be here the entire summer, can I be your friend during your stay?”

 

Niall nodded. “Of course you can! I don’t even know anybody here… you’re the first one.” Liam jumped with joy; his eyes bore a certain glimmer. Liam felt Niall pull him from the swing. “C’mon. As my first friend here, I’ll treat you with some soda…” Liam freed himself from Niall’s grasp and shook his head. “I can’t.” Niall stared at him, confused at his new friend. “Why not? It’s great with any food.”

 

“I have to limit myself from those stuff. The nice doctor said it would be bad for me because I only have one kidney…”

 

“That’s too bad… Don’t worry, you’ll be fine. I’ve seen other people havin’ it worse.”

 

Liam smiled. “Thanks.” Someone called Liam’s name and the brown eyed boy suddenly groaned. He took a quick look at his companion who was staring at him. “That’s my mom… I better go.” Niall looked up to the sky, “Is it already late in the afternoon?” Liam nodded. “Five to be exact.”

 

His hands held Niall’s tightly and started dragging him as he strides. “C’mon. I’ll introduce you to my mom.” They both come close to a woman waiting by the bus stop outside the playground. Niall thought that the woman didn’t look scary – she looks nice.

 

The woman smiled after seeing Liam with another boy. “Who do we have here, Liam?” Niall quickly hid behind Liam, tightening his grip on the older boy’s hand. Liam didn’t seem to mind and introduced his new friend. “This here is Niall. He and his parents are staying here for the summer…”

 

“Is that so? Well, if that’s the case, can you show us where you’re staying, Niall?”

 

“There.” Niall pointed to the bricked house not so far from view. He quickly withdrew his hand and held on to Liam again.

 

They both followed Liam’s mother as they walked towards Niall’s house. Liam notices Niall’s frequent glances at him. “Don’t worry, my mom’s not scary – not all the time, that is.” Wrapping his arm round Niall’s, Liam continued to stare at him.

 

“What?” asked Niall.

 

Liam shook his head and then giggled, “Nothing…”

 

“You’re weird, have you noticed that?”

 

“Well, you are too… We both have the same hair color.”

 

“What’s the connection between my weirdness and my hair color?”

 

“I don’t know.”

 

“Well then, I’ll color it differently so I won’t be weird too.”

 

Liam ran his hand through Niall’s hair and ruffled it. Niall swatted Liam’s hand off in annoyance, much to the older boy’s amusement. “If you color your hair differently, then you’ll be even weirder!” Niall pouted his lips, “You’re mean…” Liam grinned at him, “And you’re not?”

 

They finally arrived at Niall’s house. Liam’s mother knocked on the door and a woman opened it. “May I help you?” she asked. Liam’s mother stepped back and let Liam and Niall come in front, “We just came to escort your little boy home.” The woman looked down and saw his son. Niall half-smiled at her. She drew back her look at Liam’s mother. “Oh, thank you for doing that. Lovely…” The two of them shook hands. “I guess we’d better get going as well…” She grabbed Liam’s hand, “C’mon, Liam, let’s go home. Your sisters would be waiting for us.”

 

Liam and Niall let go of their hold on each other. Niall watched as Liam walked farther away from him, still waving goodbye. “Niall…” said his mother. He knew what was coming. “…no Nando’s for a week, young man!” Niall groaned and walked inside the house. His mother was smiling as she followed him inside; taking a quick glance at the mother and child that was walking down the sidewalk before closing the door.

 

The same went on for weeks on end. Liam and Niall would meet at the playground and as the days passed, started getting to know each other more. Liam would tell Niall his secrets and so would the other. There was one time when Niall was excited going to Liam’s house because they were having chicken for lunch. Niall’s parents were only home in the afternoon so he would stay with Liam all morning. Liam’s mother didn’t seem to mind. In fact, she was glad someone was there to make Liam happier than he is now.

 

As if though summer wouldn’t end… then came the time for Niall to go back to Mullingar.

 

A week before going back, Liam was already sad that his friend was going. He didn’t want him to go – if he did, Niall might forget him. Niall often asked him why he became lonelier but Liam would just shake his head and walk away. Niall tried every trick a five-year old could pull of his sleeves but still nothing… Liam has fixated on the fact that he wasn’t going to see those blue eyes one day when he wakes up.

 

The day has arrived. Liam sat there on the couch, his older sisters pestering him and forcing him to say goodbye to his friend. But he just won’t budge… nothing was moving him from this spot. A knock sounded on the door. Liam’s sister went to open the door and Niall was there – ready to go back to his hometown. “Liam! It’s Niall…” called out his sister.

 

“I don’t want to talk to him….” Liam curled up on the couch, slowly sinking to a feeling he didn’t understand. “Come on in, Niall… me and Ruth will just go outside.” The two girls went outside and Niall shouted, “Thanks, Nicola.”

 

“Anytime!”

 

He was alone with Liam now. Niall swallowed and then went close to Liam. “Hey there, mate…” Liam turned around, turning his back on Niall. “I’m not talking to you…” Niall reached out to Liam, “C’mon, Leeyum.” Liam snapped back, turning around and facing him, “Don’t touch me! Don’t call me by that name either!”

Their eyes gazed upon each other. Liam’s eyes were already wet. “Don’t go…” Niall shook his head, “What can I do? I can’t live here alone, Liam. I have to go back to Mullingar.” He started tearing up as well.

 

“You can stay here with me…”

 

“Liam, I can’t do that.”

 

 Liam held out his hand, “Pinkie swear that you’ll find a way to come back here – I don’t care when or how just do it.”

 

“Alright…” Their little finger entwined. “…I promise to come back here whenever possible just to see Liam again.”

 

Liam smiled.

 

“Okay… now you have to cross your heart, Liam. Swear that you will never forget me!”

 

Liam crossed his heart. “I’ll never forget my friend, Niall, ever…”

 

The blue ones found the brown. Both of them felt the same feeling they couldn’t figure out. A warm feeling spreading through their chests… Butterflies fluttering in their guts… The urge to just let it all just fall into place… Something their young little minds couldn’t comprehend.

 

“I’m gonna miss you, Liam.”

 

“Me too, Niall.”

 

They heard a car horn sound and then the both of the stood up – giving each other the final embrace before going out of the house together. As they stepped into the porch, Liam stopped walking and Niall turned around. “I can’t do this…” Their noses touched, letting each other drown in the color of their eyes, and then they both smiled. Niall went inside the car and it drove away until it disappeared into the distance.

 

…….

 

**Niall’s POV**

 

 I opened my eyes only to find my laptop brightly shining in the darkened room in the hospital. I looked at the page that flashing on the screen to refresh my mind on what I was doing before I fell asleep. I rolled my eyes. _I have got to stop reading these fan fictions_ , I said to myself. I turned my laptop off and a sudden grunt came from the side of the bed.

 

Liam sat on the chair unmoving. His eyes fluttered while he grumbled something in his sleep. “Don’t go…” I froze after hearing those words. Tears started rolling down my face and I started to cry hard. The dream wasn’t just a dream – it was a memory. That little boy to whom I bid goodbye to all those years ago was here with me again. He might not even remember…

 

Liam suddenly awakened and found me crying while looking at him. “What’s the matter?! Is something wrong?! Are you sick?”

 

I held out my hand and left my little finger prominent than the rest. Liam stared at me with silence, he licked his lips. “What are you doing?”

 

“I did a pinkie swear with you… don’t you remember that?”

 

Liam looked at me confused.

 

“You broke your promise! You crossed your heart and said you’ll never forget me!”

 

Liam frowned. “No, _you_ broke your promise…”

 

I stopped crying and stared at his changing expression. A tear fell from his left eye.

 

“Liam, I didn’t –”

 

“You didn’t what? Forget? You did forget, Niall, but I didn’t! When I met you that night… it was the happiest time of my life! I got to see you again after all those years. And yet you didn’t recognize me so I just pretended not to know you as well. I didn’t want to be like an idiot claiming to know you before and then you’ll just reject me. You didn’t go back to Wolverhampton…”

 

Liam was crying now. He sniffed and then continued, “…I waited and waited, Niall. But you just didn’t come back. And now you’re telling me that I was the one that forgot? That I was the one who broke my promise? That’s just fucked up!”

 

That explains why he was so happy that night when we met at the parking lot. The chasing across the parking lot… the asking me to be his friend… he was just redoing the past – trying to see if I still remember and I didn’t! When I got into the car and we were far away as possible, I was already thinking of a way to go back. But fate wasn’t too kind to our friendship. I didn’t just change my hair… I forgot about him. He was just waiting for the boy he met that afternoon to come back to his life but I didn’t come back. I took on another road and didn’t bother to take the U-turn when I had the chance. I guess there was no way I could explain myself out of this. The truth was like a road sign hitting me on the face right now – the truth that I broke my promise that summer in my past.

 

“I’m sorry…” My voice was cracking, my breathing getting heavier – I resort to gasping for air. “I’m sorry you slipped from my mind! I’m sorry that blue-eyed boy didn’t come back! I don’t mind if you don’t forgive me, Liam… I deserve it! Yes, I’m fucked up – I’m not that boy anymore. You see this?” I pointed at my head. “It’s not the same color as yours anymore… being far from you made me change it. My misery of you disappearing from my life made my head to restart and log on to another person…”

 

I couldn’t stop crying. I felt his hand brush through my cheek and when I opened my eyes, his brown ones were there. Our noses were touching each other just like the day I left. I felt electricity run down my spine, something I never felt before. “Niall…” Something in Liam’s eyes made them different than all the other times I stare at them. “…you know what I was feeling when you did this same thing to me before you left? Back then I couldn’t recognize what it was but now, I had it figured out. I wanted to give out all my secrets away in exchange of you not leaving me. I wanted that summer not to end. I wanted you… Even now, I still do.”

 

I suddenly remembered something. “If meeting you again and falling in love with you was a gift from me, would you accept it?” Liam smiled. “Yes… why did you ask?” I pressed my lips against his and then pulled back. “Happy Birthday, Liam.”

 

He raised his eyebrow, “Really? That’s your gift?” Liam smiled slyly at me. “I was thinking something better…” His hand trailed down my chest and my eyes widened, making me moan when he slid his hand into my pants. “Not here! This is a hospital!” I hissed, my face deep red. Liam rolled his eyes, “Fine. I waited long for you to come back… maybe I could wait a little longer for this.”

 

_Time for me to snooze._

_Zac._


	6. Five || Chasing Dreams

**_August 28_ **

_Dear Diary,_

_Niall’s birthday is coming soon enough. I want to give him something… a little gift from me to help him remember me by. I don’t know just yet but I’ll think of something. We’re watching a drama movie right now in the lobby of the nursing home. I’m at the back cause I usually stand up too often. Niall’s in front of me – completely sinking into the movie as all the other people around me. My sister’s dabbing her tears every now and then. I try to hide my smiles at her so that I wouldn’t be in any kind of trouble later._

 

**Niall’s POV**

 

I stared at the screen of my laptop.

 

The “submit” and “cancel” button both gave me a reason to think about this. I’ve already passed the test and they waited for my reply. At first, I said yes without thinking it over. Now, I’m regretting it. I didn’t expect that change in my life to come that is Liam. And now I’m seriously considering cancelling the slot I have in the university in the US because of this.

 

I’ve only been with Liam for a while now and I don’t want to leave him so soon. I’m not good with long distance relationships as proven with those thirteen years of not seeing him. I feel like I’m Bella Swan right now – I know that I have to get a life and chase my dreams but the one I love is making it hard for me to decide whether to be okay with living thousands of miles away from him.

 

I’ve already rid of being insecure of myself. All those side comments about me at parties Louis and Harry force me to come with them I throw at my back now. My reasons would be that one: it wasn’t worth sulking for, and two: why should I care? For all I know they’re the ones who are insecure when I show up at their parties with my arms wrapped around Liam. I knew those girls are jealous and hated the fact that the handsome boy chose me instead of them and their slutty selves.

 

My eyes kept still on the screen. One button was waiting for me to push them and I couldn’t decide which. Call me an idiot but I just can’t finalize my decision. Finally, I moved the cursor to the submit button but then, Liam appeared behind me. “What’cha doin’, Nialler?” I quickly closed the browser. I didn’t want him to know about this. Wait, did I click on the button? _Shit_. I think I didn’t but I hope I did. I closed my laptop and answered him without turning my head, “Nothing.”

 

“Give me that laptop, Niall…”

 

I turned around. Liam wore a suspicious expression on his face. “Why?”

 

“If you’re not hiding something, then it wouldn’t be a bother to let me see your laptop.”

 

“I have rights, you know…”

 

“Really? Would I be violating those rights if I do this?”

From behind the couch, he jumped at me making me fall down the couch underneath him. His hands ran down my body until I realized he was on to something – my laptop. “You can’t have it, Liam.” I growled. He raised an eyebrow, “Is that so, Mr. Horan?” I narrowed my eyes at him. “Yes, that is so.” Liam lustfully stared at me and licked his lips, “Not even when I do this?”

 

His lips crashed against mine, feeling the warmth of his mouth when I gladly opened my own and let his tongue skillfully play with mine. I wanted to let go of my grip on my laptop and unbutton his shirt but I restrained myself. Liam’s not gonna win this time. His hand trailed further down and slipped itself into my pants, earning Liam a groan from me when he grabbed my erection. “Liam, stop it… don’t – ah!” He started to slide his hand up and down my shaft, locking his lips with mine again. Liam grinned at me cheekily, “How about now, Niall?” I hissed at him, “Don’t tempt me, Payne.” That left him with a smug on his face. “Just do it.”

 

I let go of my grip on the laptop but before Liam could get it, I pushed him over, making him topple on the other side of the couch. The laptop slipped to the floor with a slight _thud_ and I pinned down Liam – both his hands held by mine. The shocked expression on his face was priceless especially when I started to tease him. “Now, it’s my turn…” I left a trail of kisses down his neck making him moan in the process. I left my right hand to hold down his hands and started unbuttoning Liam’s shirt with my left hand. After doing that, I trailed my fingers softly down his chest and abs before slowly sliding my hand into his boxers. Liam tried biting his lower lip to stop his moaning but all that did was make him moan even louder. He was already hard down there. “Well, well, do you want me to go further?”

 

“Niall, please…”

 

“Not a chance, Liam.”

 

His face was already pleading for it.

 

And then, the doorbell sounded.

 

Liam groaned with disappointment, “Man, I cannot catch a break!” I let go of my grip on his hands and let him sit up on the couch. He quickly buttoned his shirt, catching a glimpse of me looking blankly at him. “What? You want me to open that door with my shirt undone and you sitting on the couch with your face flushed red?” He stood up and went for the door. “Just out of curiosity, were you really trying to have your way with me or was that just to get my laptop?” Liam combed his hair before opening the door. “I was doing both.”

 

The door creaked and a voice greeted Liam unpleasantly.

 

“Took you long enough…”

 

The voice at the door sounded like a kid. I peeked and confirmed it was one. A little boy with auburn hair had his arms wrapped around what seems to be a sketch pad on his chest. His feet were tapping impatiently as his eyes were fixed on Liam. The little boy’s face was really cute with that annoyed look on it. “Oh, hahaha, hi Dean… I was just –” I slightly moved and the couch creaked (or was that the floorboard?) Dean removed his gaze upon Liam and peeked at the living room. I quickly ducked.

 

“You have somebody over?”

 

“What? Ah, um, why are you here, Dean?”

 

“Ms. Perrie dropped me off here. She said she’ll come back to pick me up after she’s done with business… why are you hiding, whoever you are?”

 

“Dean, there’s no one there.”

 

“You’re a bad liar, Liam.”

 

“There’s no need to get personal, Dean – hey, stop right there!”

 

I can hear the footsteps come closer and closer to me and I curled up on the couch. “Erm, what are you doing?” Dean was already looking down on me with a bewildered look. His green eyes bore down on me and I sat up straight, running my hand through my hair. Liam appeared behind Dean and introduced me, “Dean, this is Niall. He’s my… um…”

 

“He’s you’re boyfriend, isn’t he?”

 

“Wha –”

 

“Don’t you dare lie again, Liam. It’s pretty obvious and it helps when you have a sister who broke up with her boyfriend because he was gay.”

 

I glanced at Liam who gave me a _what now_ look. To tell him the truth, I didn’t know what to do. This kid in between us right now just made my brain go haywire. How can a little boy like that be so straightforward? Maybe he’s a new subspecies or whatever – the boy just took me by surprise. He sounded like an adult the way he talked to Liam. Are they related or something? “Okay…” Liam held on to Dean’s shoulders, “…why don’t you just sit on the couch beside Niall, maybe watch…um…” The tv went on and in some kind of fantastic and weird form of coincidence, the movie was Toy Story 3. “…oh there we go, brilliant! Just sit there, watch in silence, and I’ll call on Perrie.”

 

“She’s not going to answer the phone.”

 

“Why not?”

 

“Because she knows you’ll call her because of me. I’m here to stay, Liam. Deal with it.” The little rascal grinned at Liam, annoying him almost to the edge. Dean frowned at him, “I don’t get it why the two of you are keeping this relationship a secret. It’s either you tell or everyone will find out the hard way. Trust me, my sister’s ex found that letting people know your secret the hard way isn’t much of pleasantries… I think he was traumatized during his and my sister’s confrontation.” Okay, I was getting a bit annoyed as well. Of all the kids I met, this one annoyed me the most – nosy, frank, and bit of a know-it-all. How can a boy like him understand situations even older people have a hard time going through? I wanted to give this kid a piece of my mind, maybe then he’ll shut up. Liam, seeing through my expression, shook his head. He’s probably done this before and what I was thinking was not the solution.

 

Liam put down the phone and gave up. “Alright, you can stay. I’ll order pizza… I’ll be right back.” After Liam left for the kitchen, I was all alone with Dean in the living room. I can feel him staring at me. Taking a quick glance, my feels were disproved. His eyes were at full concentration on the tv. I broke the silence with a question I wanted to ask him, “So… how do you know Liam and Perrie?” Dean removed his attention from the movie and transferred it to me. “Perrie’s my tutor. I usually go with her to Liam’s house and that’s about it.”

 

“Hmm… alright.”

 

“You seem frustrated. Is it because I’m here or something else?”

 

I stared at him. Is this kid psychic or something? Or were my expressions too readable to anyone who looks at me? I guess it wouldn’t hurt to share something, “I think it’s both.” Dean smiled cutely at me. “Yeah, I am an annoying little brat, aren’t I?”

 

“A pain in the neck to be exact…”

 

“It all started when my sister…you know….”

 

I nodded. I think it’s sharing time now.

 

“What about it?”

 

“She was so happy with him and then it all had to break apart. She became so lonely. Her happily ever after shattered into pieces with no way to stick it together again…”

 

I sat there silently, listening to what this little boy had to say.

 

“…she’s the best sister in the world and seeing her like that breaks my heart.” Dean looks up at me. “And then there’s the two of you.” I was confused, what is it about me and Liam? What’s wrong with us? “You know, he talks about you when I get into fights with my friends. Him and Perrie are like my big brother and sister – an addition to my family – now that my sister is off to a school far from here. He says that you made a promise to each other and that he’s still hoping you would keep that promise. Then he goes of lecturing me about why I should still be friends with my friends and find a way to fix our problems with each other.”

 

“Can I tell you a secret?”

 

“I’m not good with keeping secrets…”

 

“I’ll tell you anyway. But promise me you won’t tell Liam. I’ll tell him myself.”

 

“Alright.”

 

“I’m going off to a school far from here too. Liam doesn’t know yet and I feel like being far from him isn’t the best way to pursue our relationship.”

 

Dean raised an eyebrow. “You do know that you are telling a ten year old about your problems, right?” I smiled at him, messing up his hair. “Yes, I do know that. Any tips, oh wise little boy?” He was motionless for a while. Wow, he was really thinking it through. He finally shifted, crossing his legs and leaning his back on the couch. “Have you ever heard from anyone that the reason they were still together, even if miles of ocean and land are between them, was because they remained faithful?”

 

“No… I haven’t really heard anything like that.”

 

“It may be old school but it’s very effective. If it wasn’t, I wouldn’t be here and talking the talk with you…” He grinned at me. So this was _the talk_? I haven’t thought about it. I guess with the world today, it’s simple to find someone else. What if Dean was right about being faithful is the option? He murmured as he grabbed his sketch pad, “If you’re wondering where I get all these things I’m talking about, I have to give my parents the credit. They’re a fountain of information… and inspiration.”

 

“Perhaps you can give them my thanks if this works out.”

 

“If you’re so worried about how Liam would feel, why not ask him about it? Then after that, decide what to do… overthinking may be too much but thinking it over isn’t.”

 

“You really are too bright of a young boy for your age, aren’t you?”

 

“I try, Niall… I try.”

 

Liam came back from the kitchen and sat beside me on the couch. “Okay, pizza’s on the way.” Me and Dean just nodded and went to watch the movie in silence. Soon after, the pizza arrived. Just in time, on my personal view, because when Liam came back, it was already the scene where he usually cries. As I took a bite on the pizza, Liam started sniffing. “Ah…waterworks again.”

 

I noticed that Dean was doing something on his sketch pad. He looked serious on what he was doing but then, he glanced at the two of us and smiled. He paused once in a while to look at what he was doing and then continue, glancing at us from time to time. How come he’s doing it with a pen? Isn’t that a bit hard to do? With some final strokes on the paper, Dean stared at it for the last time and closed the sketch pad. Curiosity took over me, “What’s that you’ve been doin’, Dean?”

 

“Oh just something… um… I’ll be giving to someone later.”

 

“Okay.”

 

The movie was over. The pizza box was empty. I leaned on Liam who was still sniffing a bit and let him nuzzle on my hair. Dean had his eyes closed, his arms crossed, and a blank expression on his face. Seems like movies can exhaust the little tyke… or was he just pretending? “Is he really asleep?” I asked almost inaudibly. Liam giggled, “Hmm… I’ll be guessing no.” We both took a peek of him and then his lips moved. “Stop staring at me. I’m trying to sleep.” Liam chuckled, “Don’t worry, we won’t be doing anything to you…”

 

“I seriously doubt that you would anyway. Now, go on with your lovey-dovey cooties or whatever. I don’t mind…”

 

“Really? You wouldn’t mind me and Niall go full on right here?” Liam grinned teasingly. Dean’s eyes popped open, quickly giving Liam an upset stare. “You wouldn’t.” Liam raised an eyebrow. “Watch me…” He wrapped his arm around me, pulling me close but before he could even close our lips together, Dean gave up. “Okay, fine… I’ll be going home. Just don’t do that… thing in front of me!”

 

Dean jumped off the couch and headed for the door. Right when he opened the door, a car stopped in front of the house. Perrie and Zayn got off their ride and headed towards the house. The two of us both stood up going after Dean at the door. “Uh-oh…” said Dean. “What’s that supposed to mean?” asked Liam.

 

“Uh, well… it’s kinda –”

 

“Dean?” The little boy closed his eyes upon hearing Perrie calling his name. “We’ve been looking all over for you. Your mother called me. She told me you just disappeared without a trace… Don’t ever do that again.” Dean quietly listened to Perrie as she walked towards us. Zayn waved at him, smiling and he waved back with a slight movement of his lips. Perrie turned around. “What are you doing?”

 

“I’m not doing anything!” Zayn held his hands up.

 

Perrie rolled her eyes, “You’re acting like nothing’s wrong!”

 

I couldn’t help but giggle. They look like a married couple – Perrie’s the strict mother while Zayn’s the loving father that sometimes tends to spoil his kids. Liam turned to me. “What’s funny?” I shook my head, “It’s just that those two look like parents fighting over their little boy. I really hope your cousin would end up with Zayn. He might be a bit shy but I guess when love is the one in control, it can change you.”

 

“What made you think like that?”

 

A part of me was saying it wasn’t the right time, another’s saying take the chance right now. “Liam, I wanted to tell you that –”

 

Talk about bad timing.

 

“And you…” Perrie turned to Liam, who was initially shocked. “…why didn’t you call me when Dean came here?”

 

“He said you’re the one who dropped him off…” Liam was a bit frustrated.

 

“Please, Liam, you know too well not to believe him in everything he says.”

 

“Everything’s fine, Perrie! He’s fine… you’re fine… I’m fine –”

 

“I’m not asking about everybody’s condition, Liam!”

 

Zayn held Perrie’s shoulders. “Calm down, honey. Hold on for just a second.” Perrie took a deep breath, massaging her forehead with her hand. They are _so_ ending up together but then again, I can’t tell by just looking at them right now. Some relationships… they may look okay but in the end, it didn’t work out. I wondered: what about Liam and me? What would happen if I went away and he’ll go on and search for another? I snapped myself from that absurd thought and went back to the commotion in front of me.

 

So to bring myself up to speed, Dean came here alone? Perrie had nothing to do with this. She’s upset because Liam believed what Dean said and didn’t call her. And Zayn and I are here as… moral support? Ugh. My mind is weird today. Random absurd thoughts keep popping up out of nowhere. Perrie breathed deeply one more time and finally knelt down to Dean. “I’m taking you back to your house. Your parents are worried sick.” Dean just nodded and opened his sketch pad. “But before we go, I wanted to give Niall something…” He tore a page from it, folded the torn piece, and handed it to me. “Just look at it once in a while. Maybe it’ll help you remember him by.”

 

The three other people with us were staring at me. “What’s he talking about?” asked Zayn.

 

“Oh, that’s between me and Dean, right?” I winked at Dean who grinned in reply.

 

He tugged on Perrie’s sleeve and they got into the car. With the car disappearing into the distance, Zayn continued to cross-examine me, “What is that he gave you, Niall?” I didn’t answer and went inside the house. The other two followed me inside, Zayn not giving up on making me show what Dean gave me. “I don’t know what it is, okay? But I know it’s what he was drawing while we were watching the movie…” I sat on the couch. Knowing that Zayn won’t stop pestering me, I unfolded the paper and a drawing of a boy in a space suit and another wearing a cowboy outfit was revealed upon me. “Is that me?” Liam pointed at the one in a cowboy outfit.

 

“I guess so… wait, so the one in the space suit is me?” I stared at the drawing more closely. Same hairstyle as mine, but me wearing a space suit? You’ve got to be kidding me. The two in the drawing were Buzz and Woody… only it’s me and Liam. On the bottom of the paper, words were etched: _The cowboy finally found the space ranger. Will he want to let him go… again?_

 

“Aw, that’s so sweet of my little–” Zayn paused. Liam and I turned to him. “–my little friend… that’s what I was going to say. I just choked” He made a fake sniff and I rolled my eyes.

 

Perrie came back soon enough. We ate dinner – a delightful one because it was chicken – and Zayn and Perrie left. While sitting on the dining room chair, I rearranged my thoughts. I’ll tell him as he drove me home – that was the plan. “Ready to go?” Liam hopped beside me and I stood up from the chair. “Yeah.” I replied weakly.

 

As we drove down the highway, I lay silent and Liam couldn’t take it. He wasn’t used to the quiet me. “Are you okay, Niall? You haven’t talked much since Zayn and Perrie left… is there something wrong?” I shook my head, “No. Nothing’s wrong… I’m fine.” There goes the plan down the drain. “C’mon, Niall… let it out. Louis and Harry aren’t there at your apartment when something happens to you.” I sighed. Dean’s words echoed in my head. Here goes nothing… “I got accepted to another university.” Liam glanced at me. I continued and told him I was going to take a culinary course in California.

 

“What’s wrong with that?! That’s great news, Niall!”

 

“It’s in the US…”

 

“Yeah but… that’s…great. You’ll be doing what you like.”

 

“Liam, you’re still a bad liar. I know you’re not taking this very well.”

 

No answer. The smile disappeared from Liam’s face and he kept his eyes on the road, momentarily glancing at me.

 

“I thought so…”

 

We drove in silence for a while. I can see his grip on the steering wheel tightening and then relaxing. He really wasn’t taking it well.

 

I got off the car almost instantly when it stopped. As I treaded towards the door, Liam’s hand gripped my arm. I turned around, his eyes trying not to meet mine. I knew it. All of this was a bad idea. If I were given one wish it would be a solution for all of this mess I’m in right now. “Liam, if you have nothing to say, you can go…” I kept the salty liquid from falling down my face. I needed to steel up myself, no one needs a broken down person in their life. Destiny might have other plans for me and Liam wasn’t part of it. Maybe this is just a funny joke from life I couldn’t make myself laugh at. Letting me meet him again was just to get my hopes up and now, leaving him again would plunge me into eternal solitude.

 

“I’m not leaving until everything is alright.” Liam said firmly. He didn’t get it. He didn’t understand what it made me feel going back to that same feeling I had when were five. He didn’t understand what it felt like wishing I would have stayed there in Wolverhampton for the rest of my life. Just to be there with him and be happy. Instead, I had to go through all the pains in life without that special person by my side. Then, I forgot all about him… He was here in the same university where I was studying for three years now and I didn’t even know – I didn’t even get to spend more time with him. I was leaving for somewhere else again and all the time I had with him was more than a few weeks.

 

“Nothing’s gonna be alright anymore, Liam.” The heaviness on my chest was building up slowly as we stared at each other in that late of night. “If this is what you want then go, Niall. I’ll be there for you all the way.” I pushed him away. Who was he kidding? I can see in his brown eyes the sadness and disappointment to the news I just told him. “Don’t act like you’re fine! You’re still a bad–”

 

I started choking up and could take it anymore. I was such a crybaby. “–a bad liar, Liam.” The tears just started going down my face and Liam wrapped himself around me. I tried fighting and wriggling out of him, “Let me go, Liam! Just let me go!” I started hammering his chest with my hand. “For god’s sake, Liam… just let me go…”

 

“No. I’m not leaving you… not ever.” My hand gradually stopped beating up his chest and I buried my tear-soaked face onto it. Liam ran his hand through my hair while the other kept me close to him. He lifted up my head and brushed off the tears with his thumb.

 

Our eyes met, with mine slowly melting into his. A smile crept on his face. “It’s ironic that you’re the one crying now instead of me.” I couldn’t say a word in reply but I guess my swallowing and deep breaths were enough said. “Niall, why can’t you just believe that I am happy for you? I know this is hard for you to decide but I want you to chase your dream. It would make me happy to see that you’re happy as well. A little smile on your face would light up my whole world. I can still wait until you get back, Niall. I’m good at waiting.” I smiled at those last words and that made him all the better. “That’s more like it. That’s the Nialler I know.”

 

To the surprise of the both of us, the sky wanted a bit more dramatic scene. The rain started pouring, showering us until we were both soaking wet. Under the pouring rain, Liam crossed his heart in front of me. “I promise to forever love Niall James Horan and wait for him until he’s finished eating the food in the culinary course…” I smiled. “…and until he’s in my arms again and I can kneel down and offer him that ring everyone else does.” My heart skipped when I heard those words and started throbbing faster, making my face flush red. Pretty much after seeing my expression, Liam locked his lips with mine, carried me towards the door, opened it, and shut it behind us.

 

Liam kept me pinned on the door and my free hand reached for the doorknob. With a small _click_ , the door was locked. Liam grinned at me. “Don’t want anyone disturbing us, do we, love?” I replied with returning my tongue into his mouth, fighting for dominance. Sadly, Liam won. Liam grabbed my thigh and lifted me up, grinding his pelvis with mine, making the both of us moan into each other’s mouths.

 

I started unbuttoning his shirt as he carried me up the stairs, then Liam stopped in front of Harry and Louis’ room. “What?” Liam shook his head. “Just a dirty thought…”

 

I laughed. “Were you thinking we do it in their bedroom?” Liam’s face turned red. “Well, sorry to disappoint you but it’s locked. And besides, my room would be a better place…” I kissed him again and started trailing down his neck. I nibbled on his collarbone making him growl.

 

After entering my room, we both fall on the bed. Our bodies pressed against each other and our lips not parting as we undressed ourselves until no article of clothing remained. I continued the trail of kisses down his chest, then his stomach, and slowed down as I reached his member, licking the tip which made Liam buck up his hips and moan loudly. “Niall… more–ah, fuck yes!” Liam gripped the sheets as I slipped his member into my mouth up to the base and sliding up again. Liam’s hands reached for my hair and gripped on it tightly as I fastened my pace. My cheeks hollowed every time I reached the base. Liam started moving his hips to match my motion and I would twirl my tongue around his member making him moan in the process. He started panting and shaking a bit, and I replaced my lips onto his. A slow and passionate kiss.

 

“Liam…”

 

His eyes met mine and we both knew what I wanted. “Are you sure?” I nodded and he reached for the drawers by my bed. “Top one.” Liam dug into it and his hand emerged with a bottle of lube and a condom.

 

“How come you have these?” Liam’s eyebrow cocked up and his face had a mischievous grin on it. I smiled slyly at him, “Let’s just say I borrowed it from a certain someone before they left for a vacation…” Liam placed some lube on his hand and smoothed it out over his fingers. He looked at me worriedly, “Just tell me if it hurts, okay?” I nodded. “Okay.”

 

Liam slowly inserted the finger into me. I gasped as I felt the burning sensation ran through me accompanied by the pleasure of Liam’s finger in me. The feeling of his finger going in and out of me made me cry out, making Liam look at me with concern.

 

“Keep going…” I grunted.

 

He added another finger, stretching me even further. Short trembling exhales escaped my mouth as Liam kept moving. Liam planted his lips on mine, no tongue just a caring kiss as he slid a third finger into me. The feeling was so good that the pain of him scissoring me receded. Then, Liam hit the bundle of nerves that caused me to fall my head back on the pillow and shout out his name. Me shouting his name made Liam move his fingers faster and hit my prostate with every single move. I started getting hard and I could feel myself tightening around Liam’s fingers.

 

“Liam… I need you…” I breathed out and Liam nodded.

 

He removed his finger from inside me and grabbed the condom. I grabbed his hand, “No.” He looked at me, confused. “What do you mean ‘no’?” I bit my lip, “I want to feel all of it. I want to feel you inside me…”

 

“Are you sure?”

 

I nodded.

 

Liam poured some lube on his member and leaned in for a kiss. I held onto his arms as he entered me and dug on it, telling Liam to start moving. He wasn’t all in but I started crying out already – he was really big. My legs wrapped themselves around his waist, our hips moving in sync as me moved in and out of me.

 

“How…about…that…I finally got…my break…” Liam smirked, his eyes darker than before. I managed to answer his out of nowhere sentence, “Of all the times to say that… you…chose to say…it…right now? That’s just–shit, Liam! Oh my God!” Liam went all the way and buried himself into me making the both of us moan in delight.

 

His movement went faster, getting more intense by the passing minute. My nails still continued to dig themselves onto his shoulders and Liam’s lips moved down to my neck, sucking on my Adam’s apple and then moved to nibbling on my collarbone. His hips pulled back and moved forward with more force and hit the bundle of nerves again making the loud moans escape our lips.

 

Our breaths began to get heavier and the two of us slowly reached our peaks. Liam moved his hand to my erection and started to move his hand up and down my shaft, timing it with each of his thrusts. My back arched as he quickened the pace even more with his thrust and pumping on my shaft. Another groan escaped my mouth and Liam held me up in a sitting position and I wrapped my arms around him. He slowed down to adjust to the new position but went faster again. Liam pressed his lips on mine for a sloppy kiss before angling himself and smashing into that bundle of nerves repeatedly. The moaning into his mouth only made him move faster.

 

After a few more thrusts, I let out a sound – something between a scream and a moan – and came; the white fluid spilled all over my stomach and chest, and on Liam’s hand. Soon enough, Liam gave a loud moan and came inside me. His body shuddered and Liam collapsed on top of me, his warm breath on my neck. He licked off the white fluid on his hand before wrapping his arms around me, giving me a soft kiss, and still not removing himself out of me. I pulled him closer, deepening the kiss before we both pulled away and Liam whispered, “I love you.”

 

My blue eyes met his brown ones and saw the happiness in his. I sincerely hoped he saw the happiness in mine as well. “I love you too.”

 

Liam pulled out of me and we laid on the bed still catching out breaths. He cuddled me and nuzzled his lips on my hair. Our naked bodies pressed against each other, exchanging the warmth we were both feeling and I drifted into sleep.

 

 

I may have slept for a long time. My eyes opened up upon hearing the annoying beeping of my phone. Liam’s arm around my waist moved and he rubbed his eyes. “What is that noise…?” He tried to lift his head but it just fell back on the pillow again.

I got off the bed and grabbed my phone.

 

“Hullo?”

 

“Niall! What the hell? It’s almost noon and you’re still sleeping? We’re outside the house for ten minutes now!”

 

I froze. Harry and Louis were home already?

 

“Hello? Niall? Are you still there?”

 

“I’m here…”

 

“Get yourself down from your room and open up the door. By the way, we have, I mean, _you_ have a visitor.”

 

A familiar voice went out the phone, “How’s my boy doin’?!”

 

A sudden chill went down my spine.

 

“Dad?”


	7. Six || Saying Goodbye

Liam shifted on the bed. “Mmm… what’s happening?” My dad’s here? Right now? Oh my God. The phone slipped from my hand and thudded on the floor. Harry’s voice sounded again, “Niall? Are you still there?” I franticly picked it up and uncontrollably shouted at Harry, “I’ll be right there just… wait a sec.”

 

“Didn’t you hear me say that we’ve already been –”

 

I turned off the phone and faced Liam. His brown eyes looked at me with such concern. I quickly got dressed and told Liam to do so as well. As he buttoned his shirt (or was that mine?), he didn’t let go of the question probably filling his mind. “What’s going on, Niall?”

 

“Um… my father’s here…”

 

“What’s the matter with that?”

 

I harshly spitted out, “What’s the matter with that? My dad’s going to find out!”

 

Liam frowned, “Are you saying you don’t want to tell them about me?”

 

“N-no… that’s not it…”

 

“Then what is it?”

 

“It’s just that I don’t want to introduce you this way… I don’t want to drag you to my father and tell him: Hey dad! This is Liam and we had sex last night!” Liam laughed like he found what I just said as unbelievable. “Then don’t tell him about that part! Why do you have to?”

 

“Even if I did, he’ll see through it.”

 

Liam’s hand softly brushed on my cheek. But that erase the feeling I was having right now. Panic was slowly eating me up. The images of my father enraged when I tell him about me and Liam appeared vividly in my mind and that made sweat bead up on my forehead. Maybe he’ll be fine with it… maybe not. I wasn’t sure anymore. Adding my father to the already complicated equation of leaving Liam, Zayn, Harry, and Louis so I could study abroad was too much for my Irish brain to handle. My brain was processing so much right now that I barely noticed my stomach growling; only noticing it when it began to hurt. I bit my lip… It was now or never. I looked at Liam, “Just promise me when he doesn’t take it well, you’ll leave as fast as you can…”

 

“Are you seri –” He got the message that I wasn’t kidding. Liam looked at me, blinking once in a while and then placed a kiss on my temple.

 

I went for the door and turned the knob slowly. The creak of the door didn’t help in easing the panicky moment and the two of us descended the stairs. I can hear the muffled voices beyond the front door and then I closed my eyes. My hands felt the knob and I gulped. After opening it, I opened my eyes and Louis’ smile greeted me first. “How are ya doin’, mate?” He wrapped his arms around me and squeezed me tightly. Their vacation in the country made his skin darker but the same blue eyes I’ve known for some time now greeted me. His smile turned into a smirk upon seeing Liam behind me, most probably thinking of the dirtiest thought he could think of. “Well, Niall, you’ve been busy while we were gone.” Giving me a wink before heaving their luggage into the living room.

 

The curly one didn’t have smile on his face thought but rather an annoyed look. He quickly slipped pass me before I could hug him. As he darted towards the bathroom, he shouted, “I hate you for making me hold my call of nature but I’ll still cuddle you later once I’m finished using the bathroom!”

 

Laughter sounded behind me, “I can see why you like them so much…” I turned to face the last figure standing on the doormat, blocking the welcome sign from view. My dad hasn’t changed a bit. Except for the few additional lines on his face, he’s still that man I knew. He quickly took notice of Liam who was standing behind me. “And who might this fellow be?” Liam stiffened a bit and I replied as my mouth was starting to feel dry.

 

“Oh I think you know who he is, dad…”

 

My father’s face scrunched up, confused by what I said. “Really? I know him?”

 

I nodded. “C’mon, dad.” I tried being as casual as possible. “Don’t you remember Liam? Liam Payne – that boy… that was a friend of mine when we stayed in Wolverhampton?”

 

My father’s eyes widened. “Bless the Lord… you’ve grown so much! The little tyke that played with son… who would’ve thought you’d grow up to be a very handsome lad!” Liam started easing up a little, his face slowly turning red.

 

Okay, the encounter went well. Now I just needed the chance to tell him… Between Louis humming on the couch, Harry singing in the bathroom, and my father’s continuous remarks that made Liam blush even more and making him more adorable, my head was trying real hard to find the solution and answer to current problem. Was this the right time? Should I get him alone and have a deep talk with him? Or should I ever tell him at all?

 

“By the way, Niall, what’s he doing here? Were you having a sleepover?” Moments from last night flashed in my head and I could tell that I was turning pink. A sleepover? Maybe… if you consider _that_ a sleepover. My father’s eyes narrowed, his stare burrowing down, digging deeper into the meaning of my reaction. “Did I miss something, Niall?”

 

“I – I…” My quick glance at Liam wasn’t missed by my father as well.

 

“Young man…” my father shifted his attention to Liam, who was now fully aware of what was happening. “…might I have a word with you… in _private_?” The color drained out of Liam’s face and he silently followed dad to the kitchen. I was right. He did see through me. My only wish was that everything would be fine. Would it though? I certainly hope so.

 

 I slumped onto the couch, making my head rest on Louis’ shoulder as he was watching tv. “Something wrong, Nialler?” he frowned.

 

“I’m doomed.” I replied grimly.

 

Louis chuckled, brushing his hand softly on my hair. “Don’t worry so much, Nialler. Your dad will see that Liam’s a great guy… Just stay calm.”

 

“But I can’t stay calm! What if he doesn’t like Liam… he’s met him only once during our stay in Wolverhampton. What makes you think –”

 

“Niall, please…” Louis cut me off, his blue eyes looking down on me. “Can’t you have a little faith? I mean this is just like when I introduced Harry to my mum. I was a little worried but I assured myself that Harry would charm his way into my mother’s heart, just like he charmed his way into mine.”

 

Harry dropped off on the couch beside Louis. “I heard that! That’s the sweetest thing, Lou…” They stared at each other for a moment but broke it when I coughed. “Anyway,” started Harry, “If it will soothe your worrying heart a little, I think I heard your father say that he’ll be happy whoever you end up with…”

 

I was starting to feel lighter until he added some more.

 

“…and then his voice got a bit darker and I don’t know what’s happening right now.”

 

The muffled voices in the kitchen still got me a bit on the edge. Until they emerged from there, my father’s face was blank – no expression at all, I’m telling you; Liam’s face was different, his seem to glow in some way I can’t explain. He looked up to me and smiled. His hands were both on his back, and I can see him biting his lower lip.

 

“Dad?” My father turned to me. His facial expression changed into a smile. He coughed and tucked his hands into his pocket.

 

“Well, we talked, Niall…” My anticipation grew, waiting for his lips to move again and say his verdict – whether it was good or bad. His eyes turned to Louis, which seemed a bit odd, “Why don’t we leave the two of them for a while? Maybe you could show me the neighborhood on the way to the nearest Nando’s… Perhaps we can take home some Peri Peri Chicken…”

 

Both Louis and Harry stood up, leaving me on the couch sitting alone. The two others disappeared into the outside and before my father closed the door, he winked at me with a smile. The oddest day of my life was today. Everything seemed fine. Everybody seemed fine. It was like I was the only one who was worrying. I was the only one caring much about everything including those that didn’t really matter.

 

I felt Liam’s arm creep around my shoulder, tugging me closer to him. He was still smiling. It was the most brilliant smile I have ever seen. He pecked on my lips before grinning, raising his eyebrow at the same time. “Surprised that I’m still here kissing you?”

 

“I’m surprised Louis and Harry didn’t pull your corpse out of the kitchen.” My tone was both happy and worrying. I guess Louis was right that I needed a little faith in these things. Surprisingly, it revolves back to what Dean said about being faithful even at long distances.

 

“Liam?” I rested my head on his chest. He smelled just like last night, the only difference now was that we had clothes on. He nuzzled on my hair, breathing softly at the passing seconds. “Yes, Ni?”

 

“About that thing we talked about before we… before we…” I felt my face warming up. Even if we already did it, I was having a hard time saying those words.

 

“Niall, I already told you that I will wait for you. No matter what happens.”

 

“I know that. I know you always keep your promises but what about me? What if something occurs that repeats what happened the last time we promised to each other? I’m scared, Liam. I’m afraid that I’m too weak to keep my end of the bargain. I just don’t want to lose you… permanently this time.”

 

Liam cupped my chin, meeting my eyes with his. “You’re not weak… you’re special. And even if something does happen, no matter how long it takes, I’m sure that destiny will find a way to bring my special little snowflake back to me.”

 

Liam pressed his lips against mine. I flung my arms around his neck pulling him closer, his hand made their way to my hips. The kiss was slow and sweet, Liam’s tongue poked my lips asking for entrance and I let him in. His tongue roamed around my mouth, feeling everything inside until it met with mine, starting a tongue battle in which, this time, I won. I forced all of my weight on him making him fall on his back on the couch. His grip on my hips tightened and he pulled me in, crushing himself under my weight. Even with fabric between our skins, I can still feel the heat of his body and the slight bulge below. Liam started rubbing his erection against mine, smirking after I moaned. He went down, kissing my jawline and moving on to my neck where he started making love bites, making me grow harder.

 

“You think you can oust me?” Liam breathed on my neck. “I may be nice most of the time but I can be rough if I wanted to.” Liam flipped me over and continued trailing kisses down my neck. After teasing me by licking my collarbone, his lips returned onto mine. He suddenly growled when I slipped my hand into his shirt, slowly running my hand through his torso.

 

“Last night wasn’t enough for you, huh?” His eyes were darker and full of lust.

 

I smirked, “No. Was it enough for you?”

 

“You do know that the three of them could walk in at any moment…”

 

“That’s why there’s a bedroom, silly Li.”

 

Liam shook his head. He got up and walked towards the kitchen. The first thought that came into my mind was ‘What the fuck is that?’. He turned around, smiling slyly at me. “That’s what it feels when you’re being teased and then it all stops…”

 

“Oh, come on… You’re not seriously doing a payback on that are you? Besides, it was Dean’s fault not mine!”

 

Liam emerged from the kitchen with the last cup of ice cream we had in the freezer. A spoon was plunged into it. “Don’t blame this on the kid. You were obviously teasing me to no end so I wouldn’t get your laptop.”

 

“But you did find out what it was! And are you using a spoon?”

 

“Yeah, so? It’s not like it’s gonna bite or anything…”

 

“But that’s not your spoon… that’s… mine.”

 

“Exactly.” Liam popped the spoon filled with ice cream into his mouth, then started liking the spoon rather sensually.

 

Louis, Harry, and I had our separate spoons and forks but I had no idea how Liam figured out that the plain ones were mine. “You’re phobic of spoons that aren’t yours…”

 

“But it’s yours so I have nothing to be scared of.” He smiled.

 

 

You know that feeling a contestant has in a game show when the host says it’s the last ten seconds? The feeling of the adrenaline pumping, your focus is only on winning the prize, and then you will lose? The wretched feeling of anxiety, despair, and self-loathing sluggishly seeping through your veins that every second of it hurts… Somehow, I wanted the feeling to be over but I knew it will last longer than I could hold. That’s the joke on me I’ll have to bear for the rest of my life, I think. I can never have Liam for my own in a perfect way. There are always blockades… there are always restrictions… Two days before my birthday, I’m gonna leave for San Diego and I shout out loud in my head sarcastically that it’s the perfect present life could ever give me.

 

We sat silently at the dinner table. Harry and Louis kept glancing at each other, their faces grim and sulky. Beside my dad was Zayn and next to him was Perrie, munching silently with her face staring down at her plate. My dad, well, I didn’t know how to describe him right now. I moved my eyes to Liam who – for reasons I’m certain of – has lost his appetite and was just toying with his food.

 

It’s getting absurd that my life is getting replayed over again. This is just like that summer – everything that has happened that involved Liam was like that summer (except the kissing and love making part).Whoever had the replay button pushed on, please, stop doing that. For the last few days, Liam has been locking himself in his house and the only way we made him go out was Perrie. She was great these days, I mean, in everything. I feel like I wanted a cousin just like her and the strangest thing was that she has been treating me like so. Yesterday afternoon, while in the supermarket with Zayn, she pulled me some place else – out of Zayn’s sight and talked to me. Not just “talk” talk but “deep with some many emotions involved” talk.

 

_“Do you know why I asked Zayn if we could bring Liam that night at the party?”_

_I stared at her for a moment and shook my head. Of all the times and of all the places, why did she have to bring this up now?_

_“It’s because Zayn said you would be there…”_

_So she knew? She knew about that summer? I didn’t know her until that night at the party and it seemed weird and farfetched that she was stalking me._

_“I-I don’t understand what you’re saying…”_

_“Liam’s sisters were telling me about some time ago, back when we were… er… younger.”_

_“But I didn’t –”_

_“Niall, please stop talking, I only have a few minutes. When Zayn said that a Niall Horan, who was his friend, texted him about going to the party, I just knew it was you. So I asked him if Liam would be allowed to come with us – he had a hard time deciding but he just could say no to me…”_

_That figures, I thought._

_“…but the only problem left was Liam. He didn’t like going to parties, he didn’t drink so that, I think, was always his reason. But something changed his mind when I told him you were there… He felt pained for a moment, slumping back on the couch actually, and then a tear fell from his eye. He started crying and then he smiled, the most genuine I have seen in years. Zayn kept asking along the way why the two of us were a bit edgy and excited but we kept to ourselves. And the rest is as you know it.”_

_We stared at each other for a while. I can tell by the look in her eyes that she was happy because all of this happened. In one quick move, she embraced me into her arms, softly and yet I still felt the warmth of the embrace._

_“Back in Wolverhampton, Liam’s sisters and I always talked about you when Liam wasn’t around. I never seen you before that night and yet every picture of your face that floated in my mind based on how Liam’s sisters described you were wrong…” She gave a low laugh. “…you were more handsome than I thought. No wonder Liam fell for you.”_

_“You’re too kind… my face isn’t perfect as his.”_

_“Yeah, it’s you that he fell for, not just your face. You’re special to him and I can see why.”_

_“Hey! What’s going on?” Zayn finally found us, his face confused while he leaned on the trolley._

_The two of us laughed which added to Zayn’s frustration. “It’s nothing, honey…” said Perrie._

 

Liam stood up from the dinner table and went out the back door; all of our eyes followed him until the door shut close. Perrie stood up as well and followed Liam outside. The silence was deafening; the only sound I heard was Harry chugging down the iced tea before returning to the food on his plate. The muffled voices outside grew louder and louder until we heard someone shout. It was Liam, I guess. Perrie started shouting as well. Louis glanced at Zayn, “Aren’t you going to do something?”

 

“No.” Zayn shook his head. “It’s not the first time they fought like that. I think they’ll be fine.”

 

“But what if –”

 

“I said they’ll be _fine_.” He gritted his teeth.

 

Zayn glanced at me and found me staring at him. “Sorry…” Then he returned to eating.

 

Not the best meal I had – it was not the best meal any of us had. But, given the circumstances, none of us felt fine these past few days. Even if they say that they’ll be fine with me leaving, I can see right now that that wasn’t true. Their masks that portrayed happiness weren’t thick enough to conceal the truth that they didn’t want me to go.

 

 

I closed my eyes again and took a deep breath. This was it. I’m actually going now. I only have a backpack with me and small traveling bag. Ed told me to pack light – I didn’t need everything I owned. There was only one flight to San Diego per day and it was a good thing there was less traffic because I may not have made it in time.

 

Before we left, Perrie kept convincing Liam to come with us but the brown-eyed boy just wouldn’t. He didn’t want me to go. Of all of them, Liam was the one who hurt the most. To say that this has been an emotional roller coaster for the two of us was an understatement; the two of us experienced this before but back then, we were just friends. It was so much difficult for me as well not to see him before I board the plane.

 

Before entering the airport, I gave all of them the last hug they’ll ever get from me in years. The last one, I gave to Zayn but before I let go, I felt tears fall out of my eyes.

 

“Are you okay?” asked Zayn, wiping the tears off my cheek.

 

“Promise me one thing, Zayn?”

 

“Yeah, sure. Anything for our Nialler.”

 

“Promise me you’ll take care of my cowboy? He means a lot to me. He’s best I ever had. He’s brave, and kind and smart but the best thing about him is that he’ll never leave you. Ever. He’ll be there for you no matter what…”

 

Zayn stared at me for a moment, his eyes were a bit watery.

 

“You think you can take care of him for me?”

 

Zayn didn’t usually cry but this time around, he was crying real bad but still nodded.

 

“Thanks…”

 

_Zac._

 

 

****

****

****

**_August 31_ **

_I’m at the hospital right now. I got my left leg broken after stumbling down the stairwell at school. I know… I know… Kinda weak for me, isn’t it? What’s the reason, you might ask? It’s so absurd that I feel like I don’t want to tell you but I will anyway. By the way, noticed that the ‘dear diary’ thing is gone? Well, my sister told me it made me look like a girl or something…_

_Right, the reason why… Well, apparently someone spread a rumor at school that I was gay. When I arrived at school yesterday everyone was whispering behind my back and I couldn’t figure out why. When I went to talk to Dorothy, she gave me a snide remark and told me “Go away… I can’t believe I went out with you, fag.”_

_I felt the whole world crush me and make me hit rock bottom. I was sitting alone in the art classroom when this girl, Erika (she’s pretty by the way), went in and talked to me. I’ve always seen her in the class but she never talked to me until now._

_“You know, I don’t believe any of those things they’re saying…” she said. “But if it would help, I think it’s because you’re friends with Niall.”_

_I look up at her. She looked sad, but I bet it’s just pity._

_“What do you mean?”_

_“Well, from what they’re saying, Drake saw you hanging out with Niall last Saturday and then after that, all hell broke loose…”_

_“How come you know who Niall is?”_

_“I come to the nursing home every Friday. A day before you go there but I’ve only been there twice. I guess Niall has a thing for kids cause he’s the first one to talk to me there of all the workers.”_

_“Workers? But Niall lives in the nursing home…”_

_Erika stared at me, wondering where I could’ve gotten that._

_“Niall works at the nursing home but he doesn’t live there. He has his own apartment.”_

_Okay, so I must have misinterpreted what Niall meant by ‘took me in’. Apparently, what he meant was the nursing home gave him a job, what the job was I still don’t know because I never asked him._

_You might be asking: so? What’s the connection with being called gay and falling down a stairwell? My sister came to me when she heard the rumors spreading around. As we were fighting along the hallway, I stepped back too much causing me to slip and go tumbling down the stairs. As expected, everyone laughed – shouting “that’s what faggots get!”_

_The next thing I knew I was at the hospital with by sister beside me. I felt pain whenever I moved my left leg. Even if she did bring me here, I still hate her for telling our parents about the whole Niall and Liam thing. She’s asleep right now and here I am writing on my bed. My parents were back at the house getting some stuff. As I am writing this, I can’t help but feel that my plans are being thwarted… Does destiny not want any involvement from me in Niall’s life?_

_My leg hurts again._

_Zac._


	8. Seven || Fate's Decision

**_September 01_ **

****

**Third Person POV**

 

The door creaked open and a slightly curly haired teenage girl peeked into the room, her eyes fixed on the sleeping boy on the bed. “Zac… Zachary Michaels! Wake up!”

 

“Wha –” Zac jerked from his bed, letting out a yelp of pain. He felt the sting of moving his injured leg. He closed his eyes again, trying not to think of the pain he was feeling right now. There was that voice again… A giggle came from his side and when he opened his eyes, Erika was staring at him.

 

“Sorry about that…” she said, placing her head on the mattress and looking up at Zac.

 

Zac shifted slowly, trying not to move his leg so much. “What do you want?” His voice was a little hoarse, but the hint of annoyance can still be found. Erika just grinned at him, “Someone’s here to see you…” The door opened again and a bleach-blond haired man came in. You would mistake him as still a teenager with his attire – a t-shirt under his jacket, a pair of jeans, a pair of black Chucks, and a baseball cap with a four-leafed clover on it. Niall smiled at the two of them, “Too casual?”

 

Zac laughed, “For an audience with the queen, yes.”

 

“Very funny, young man.” said Niall, sitting down beside Erika by the bed. “Anyways, I’m sorry of all the troubles I’ve caused you…”

 

“You’ve never caused any trouble to me, Niall.”

 

“Yeah, everyone says that… just to make me feel better.”

 

“Did my sister talk with you? She can sometimes get into your head. Whatever you do, don’t believe her.”

 

“Yes, I did and she told me what you’ve been trying to do…” Niall’s tone turned serious.

 

Erika grabbed her bag, stood up from where she was sitting, and planted a kiss on Zac’s cheek. “I’ll be outside… I think it’s better if you two talk alone. Get well soon, Zac.” Niall’s and Zac’s eyes followed her until she reached the door, opened it, and went outside.

 

There was a bit of silence after Erika left, Zac blankly stared at the window, trying to think of a way to explain to Niall and perhaps make him agree to what he was planning; Niall was thinking of a way to break it to Zac that all of this was not worth it.

 

In such a short span of time, Niall hasn’t divulged so much of his life story to anyone else than this teenage boy he’s looking at right now. He was like a little brother, a little Niall he can whisper his heart’s aches and troubles. The best thing perhaps that Niall could think of Zac was that he didn’t judge people. Niall came into this country with the stereotype still going on and that gave him a hard time to fit in. When Ed moved away because his parents wanted him to, Niall was left all alone. The only companion he had in America left him prematurely. And with that, Niall didn’t know what to do.

 

Even worse, when Ed left, his apartment got robbed of his TV, his laptop, some other stuff in his apartment, and his phone. He was able to replace it a few months later for he began working part time at the nursing home while he studied at culinary school. Studying there seemed to be a waste of time to Niall – a waste of the money of the one who made him a scholar as well – though because after graduating, yes, he was a chef, but he picked on servicing the elderly. He didn’t become a world famous chef – he became a cook in the nursing home. It was self-satisfactory to Niall because he can see himself to be like those elders in the years to come.

 

But the thing is he had no one to tell how happy he was with his life right now. He didn’t know how to contact any of them in London. Facebook? Niall didn’t even bother. It may seem odd that he didn’t even try but he just couldn’t. Every time he would type the address on the toolbar, his mind was telling him he’ll only be disappointed. Maybe all of them have moved on – even his parents and his brother… even Liam. Maybe he’s found another seeing that it’s been so long since he left London. Even if he had the money to fly back to London, he didn’t have the time. He didn’t want to leave the nursing home without a cook for even a day. Whatever happened to Zayn and Perrie? Did they get married? How about Harry and Louis? Did everything work out? Niall guessed that he would live the rest of his life without finding the answer to those questions.

 

And now there’s this boy right here that wants to help him whatever it takes. Even when he broke his leg he still has the spirit to ask himself: what’s my plan b? Too many people already cried because of Niall and he didn’t want Zac to be an addition to the casualty. Fate’s decision hasn’t dropped down yet and there’s still time to change Zac’s mind.

 

“You didn’t finish your story, Niall…” Zac was looking back at him now.

 

“I don’t want to tell you the rest of it anymore, Zac.” said Niall calmly.

 

“Why? Is it because my sister told you not to? Is it because everyone at school’s calling me a fag? Or is it maybe because I’m here and couldn’t go anywhere without a crutch or wheelchair and you blame yourself for it? Niall, I did this because I wanted to… And not even anything you will say will change my mind…”

 

“Zac, if you continue with this, it’s not just your leg that will be damaged. I know that you’re looking for Liam and yes, your sister told me about it. I don’t want you to be disappointed like I have become after all this years and –”

 

“Disappointed?” Zac felt angry at Niall all of the sudden. “You’re telling me that you’re disappointed that Liam didn’t look for you? Is that it? Niall, I’m sorry but I think you should be disappointed with yourself. You have the chances to go look for him and Harry, and Louis, and even Zayn but you didn’t… you just gave up! Maybe you should remember once in a while about that thing that kid Dean told you. I know you still have his drawing…”

 

“How did you –”

 

“I saw you looking at it once at the nursing home… What if Liam was still waiting for you?”

 

“That’s impossible…”

 

“There it is! You see? You don’t even care anymore!”

 

“Zac, this is my life… you don’t understand how it feels like to be me.” Niall was still trying to keep himself calm.

 

“Maybe I don’t but maybe you don’t understand either what it feels like to wait and find that the one you’re waiting for decided not to come back. He just left you there to rot and has moved on with his life and you still haven’t yet. You’re being a coward –”

 

“– I’m not a coward!” growled Niall.

 

He finally lost it. This was too much for his ears to hear. His brain isn’t accepting the fact that he _was_ being a coward. He was afraid that nothing but heartbreak will welcome him in London when he goes back there. The problem wasn’t the nursing home… it wasn’t the people… it wasn’t the travelling… The problem was Niall _himself_. He became overprotective of himself – he doesn’t want anything to happen to him anymore that will cause hurt. He refused to believe that life wasn’t always happy – that it has its ups and downs that no one can control… unless you knew how to get through it.

 

“You can hiss or growl at me all you want but that doesn’t change the fact that you’re too frightened to fight back!” Zac pushed Niall with all his might and the Irish tumbled to the floor.

 

“What are you doing?!” yelled Niall, his butt really hurt after that fall. He stood up and held Zac by the arms, “Stop it, Zac!”

 

But Zac thrashed about, not caring of the slight pain he was experiencing right now. He had to make his point… he had to change how Niall thought about the whole thing. He got out of Niall’s grasp and punched him in the belly. The Irish yelped out in pain, staggering to the floor once again. “Shit! Stop it, Zac… please, stop it!”

 

“Get up, Niall! Fight back! Fight back, you idiot!”

 

“You don’t know what you’re doing!”

 

Niall tried grabbing Zac again but he kept on pushing him away. “Am I bothering you, Niall? Am I? Cause I’m life, Niall. Life is bothering you… Life’s making a fool out of you! You can’t win unless you learn to fight back!” Zac punched him again but this time on the arm which Niall felt slowly becoming numb.

 

“You have to learn to fight back, Niall! Fight the status quo… you’re not weak!”

 

Those last words sounded like Liam all of the sudden to Niall. It all was coming back to him – that part of his life he considered a fairy tale because it didn’t seem possible to happen anymore. _You’re not weak… you’re special. And even if something does happen, no matter how long it takes, I’m sure that destiny will find a way to bring my special little snowflake back to me._ Those were the sweetest memories he had before he left London and now, his mind was making him relive it again – those brown eyes… that lasting smile… All seemed but just a memory of the past that made him ache inside every time they flash before his eyes.

 

“Liam…”

 

For the first time in years, his face materialized completely in Niall’s mind. All the other times he’s been like a blur. His face wore that smile Niall always longed for. Then, someone put their arm around Liam – it was Zayn. His other arm was wrapped around Perrie who was smiling at Niall. After that, a curly haired boy emerged followed by a boy with blue eyes just like Niall’s. It looked like they were waiting for Niall for a long time.

 

Harry’s lips pouted, a bit annoyed at Niall still, _“What took you so long, Nialler? We miss you so much…”_  

 

Louis turned and agreed with Harry. _“Yeah, mate. We didn’t even get to celebrate your 21 st birthday…”_  

 

Zayn patted Liam’s shoulder and looked endearingly at Niall. _“I kept my promise, Niall. I took care of your cowboy for you. But the question is… are you ready to take him back?”_

 

Back in reality, Zac stared at Niall who started crying. He was talking to himself… but Zac thought that wasn’t weird at all. His plan was working and that’s what mattered. The only thing blocking the path for Niall was himself and the only way to fix that was to go back to the start and start the repair there. It’s like one of those things Zac’s teacher in Biology said that was worth something:

 

_“During a heart failure, the heart would try its best to pump more blood to the body just to keep it alive. But instead of recovering, the added effort would just weaken the heart, leading eventually to death. The only solution is to correct the failure itself… When we get broken-hearted, we run away, deny, pretend, ignore, and try to move on, yet find ourselves still damaged afterwards. The only solution is to fix directly the damage. Go back to where it all began.”_

 

Zac watched silently as Niall continued to cry until he stopped. Standing there for a moment, his face looking to the floor, his breathing heavy, Niall walked back to the chair beside the bed, sat down, and looked at Zac while still sniffing. “You’re mean… you know that?” said Niall jokingly. A smile grew on his face before hugging Zac tightly. “Thank you… It hurt but I really needed that.”

 

“A kick in the ass…?” chuckled Zac.

 

“Yeah, a kick in the ass…”

 

The door creaked open again and Zac’s teacher, Ms. Lillian peeked. “Hello?”

 

Niall and Zac glanced to the door. The dirty blond haired young woman slipped inside, carrying a handbag with her and what seems to be a fishbowl filled with rolled up papers. “I came here as soon as my classes were over… Oh, hello. You are?” She turned to Niall who stood up and shook her hand.

 

“Niall Horan. Ms. Lillian, am I right?”

 

Ms. Lillian’s eyes narrowed, “Have we met somewhere, Niall? Can I call you that?”

 

“No, I’m afraid not. This is the first time I have seen you… I work at the nursing home by the way. And yeah, you can call me Niall.”

 

“Wow, a man who can cook… that’s impressive. Your wife is so lucky.”

 

“Actually I’m… um…”

 

Ms. Lillian seemed to have got it and said, “Oh, okay, I’m sorry. Well, it’s nice to have met you, Niall.”

 

“It was nice meeting you as well…” Niall checked his watch and turned to Zac, “Oh, I better get going… Take care, Zac.”

 

“Okay, see you…”

 

Niall swiftly went out of the room. He didn’t really have to go anywhere… The clock thing was just a bluff. Ms. Lillian gave him a strange feeling he can’t explain. It was like Niall knew her but he swore he never saw her before. She didn’t look like anyone he knew – for he knew only a few people in San Diego but none of them had a British accent. Wait… a British accent? Niall paused from walking and stood there by the side of the hallway. A weird thought crept into his head and he shook it off. It was impossible… but then again, Zac reminded him that some things aren’t impossible – even over a long period of time.

 

“What happened, Niall?” Erika popped up all of the sudden. “Are you alright? I thought I heard you groaning…”

 

Niall got distracted from his train of thought, “Um… oh, Erika!”

 

“What is it, Niall?” asked Erika.

 

“It’s just…” Niall felt it wasn’t good clinging to the idea.

 

“What?”

 

“…” Nothing but air escaped Niall’s mouth.

 

“What?” repeated Erika, “Spit it out, Niall!”

 

Niall laughed, amused by the capacity of his brain to imagine such things. “No. Forget it. It’s too absurd.”

 

……

 

Ms. Lillian glanced once again on the door swinging slowly to a stop. She felt something strange when she held Niall’s hand and she wasn’t sure what it was. In fairness to Niall, Ms. Lillian thought he was a teenager brought by the fact that his attire was deceptive enough to make him look younger. She can’t help but notice that his accent was Irish. Strange, she thought. His name began to be processed in her mind, her brain striving to find a memory connected to that name. No luck. Yet, she was sure she has heard of him from somewhere… Her focus on the new face she met seemed to have averted her attention from the reason why she visited the hospital and the person sitting on the bed wondering why his teacher was here and why she was so deep in thought.

 

“Ms. Lillian… Is there something wrong?” Zac stared curiously at his art teacher. She was becoming stranger by the minute. The fact that she was here didn’t comfort Zac in any way. He was sure either his parents or his sister has something to do with this but then he became disappointed with himself that he was treating them with pure suspicion – something he wasn’t capable of until now. What’s happening to him?

 

Ms. Lillian shelved her thoughts about Niall for now and rummaged her handbag, taking out a pen and a small piece of paper. “Sorry about that…” Zac wasn’t sure to what she was pertaining to. “Look, Zac, your sister called me after that thing in the hallway…” She paused for a moment, placing the pen and paper on the bed and letting Zac stare at it for a while. “…I know that you are having a hard time at school right now but you must remember that your sister is trying to help you and is not putting you in harm’s way.”

 

“I just lost trust in her after she told mom and dad about that thing…” Zac’s voice trailed away. He was sure that if his sister already called his teacher then she already knew about his plans.

 

“She didn’t tell me exactly what you were doing but it’s fine if you don’t want to tell me.” Ms. Lillian breathed for a few seconds before continuing again, this was her first time ever talking to a student about personal problems. “But I’m guessing it had something to do with your friend I just met…”

 

“Maybe…” Zac wasn’t sure if he should tell Ms. Lillian about it. After all, this plan of his wasn’t really anything near high school project type – it was more of reality TV material. His teacher will most probably not approve it.

 

“Zac, is Niall asking you to do this thing… whatever it is?” Her eyes were full of questions and told Zac this was a Star Chamber inquisition.

 

“What? Ms. Lillian, that’s not it!” His voice sounded a bit defensive to the both of them. “Niall doesn’t know anything about this… well, not until my sister told him about it.”

 

Ms. Lillian’s eyes softened a little. Apparently, Zac’s friend didn’t know of any of the escapades his teenage friend has been up to. “And that has, in my opinion, further distanced your sister from you? Zac, whatever this is your doing – if your family is worried of its outcomes – is most probably dangerous. Meddling with other people’s lives leads to complications and –”

 

“– I thought my sister didn’t tell you anything in detail?”

 

“Well – I – I – She told me a few things but not all of it…” The art teacher knew that that certain slip of the tongue wasn’t good.

 

“Forgive me for saying this, ma’am, but why are all of you considering this dangerous? I see it happen in shows every time. I’m just trying to help Niall reunite with someone he hasn’t seen for a long while.”

 

“Those shows are fiction, Zac. They’re not real…”

 

“Reality is stranger than fiction! The real world has things the imagination of the human mind can’t even encompass.”

 

“Those big words can’t hide the fact that your meddling will lead to something unwanted.”

 

“Like what? Give me something to ponder about and perhaps I will consider it…”

 

Ms. Lillian sighed. This conversation was going nowhere for there was no possible way she is capable of to convince Zac out of this. “Ponder on my last sentence instead. Why I really came here is because of the activity or rather ‘interesting turn of events’, as Principal Meyer would describe it, which happened while you were absent yesterday.”

 

After finishing her sentence, Ms. Lillian grabbed the pen and paper and handed it to Zac. “There was this gentleman who came to Meyer’s office yesterday morning explaining that he wants to sponsor the art class with a trip anywhere in the world. Principal Meyer didn’t seem to have believed what the man was saying so the man showed him proof. I don’t know what proof it was but what followed was that he called me into his office. Now, since you weren’t in class yesterday, I want you to write a place you want to visit, – no place where it’s too dangerous to go to, just a simple place – roll it up after writing it, and then place it in this fishbowl.”

 

She motioned to the transparent glass bowl beside her, holding the rolled up papers of the entire art class. After writing, Zac did as instructed and let the rolled up piece of paper fall into the fishbowl among the others. Ms. Lillian gave it a bit of shake, mixing the papers and randomizing it again. She glanced at Zac who was staring blankly at the fishbowl. “Is there any chance you can tell me what you wrote down on the paper?”

 

“Some place I’m sure isn’t dangerous…”

 

…..

 

**_September 02_ **

 

As Erika pushed Zac’s wheelchair through the school hallway, a dozen or so eyes glance at him and start to whisper. Honestly, thought Zac, if this was fate’s way to prevent him from doing anything… fate was doing a bad job. Erika steered the wheelchair into the art class room where voices of anticipation was coming from. Immediately after Zac and Erika entered, the anticipation turned to silence. They all had guilt written on their faces and Zac can’t figure out why. Erika leaned on Zac’s left ear and whispered, “Ms. Lillian did…er… something last time. Not that I need to tell you anymore.”

 

Zac sat beside Erika in the middle row which seemed weird to Zac because she has always been there but her presence to Zac wasn’t all that present in all those times before.

 

Ms. Lillian entered the room, carrying all sorts of paperwork and cradled safely in her other arm was the fishbowl. She untidily relieved herself of the paperwork to the table and gently placed the fishbowl on the free space. “Good morning, class.” She said, slightly trying to neaten up her hair.

 

“Good morning, ma’am.” replied all of them with less enthusiasm except for Zac and Erika.

 

“Alright,” she picked up the fishbowl and shook it a bit, “Time to find out where we’ll be going to next week!” The anticipation started to build up again; everyone wanting for their place to be picked as the travel destination.

 

Ms. Lillian reached inside the bowl and several low voices can be heard, praying it was their paper. Her hand started going up again with a paper held between her thumb and index finger. “Aha, whose paper could this be?” The students’ faces went uneasy, still wishing it was their paper.

 

Oddly enough, Ms. Lillian wasn’t holding the paper tightly anymore. Oddly enough, a strong breeze blew from nowhere and the paper was blown through the open window of the classroom and to the outside to where the lawnmower was and was shredded to bits in an instant. An odd thing to happen indeed but nevertheless, there were moans of disappointment from the class and Ms. Lillian rummaged the fishbowl again. “Hmm…perhaps that wasn’t the right one.”

 

Her hand emerged with another one again, holding it tightly this time for she didn’t want another intrusion. She quickly replaced the bowl on the table and held the paper with two hands. She unrolled it slowly, wanting to add a bit of suspense, “And we are going to…”

 

The students held their breaths, hearts racing, brains overworking, palms sweating. But even Ms. Lillian looked surprised and the same time curious who wrote on the paper. “…Wolverhampton.”

 

Various hushed voices of annoyance, disappointment, and bewilderment filled the room. “Where the heck is Wolverhampton?” A voice of one of the students emanated.

 

“It’s in Britain…”

 

They all turn around to face the one who answered. It was Zac. Erika and Ms. Lillian continued to stare at him as the other students did. In his mind, he wondered if it wasn’t an accident that the first paper got blown away and his paper got picked instead. It was as if his plan was going the way it should be… it was as if fate’s decision sided with him.

 

“Zac?” Ms. Lillian’s voice sounded through the room with disbelief. Zac knew what she was thinking… she was most probably thinking this was part of the whole Niall scheme and it was. That’s where Liam lived and that’s where he intended to find him. But Ms. Lillian’s next question took him by surprise.

 

“Why do you want to go to my hometown?”


	9. Eight || The Worst Hangover

**_September 6_ **

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**Zac’s POV**

 

Once a bond is made, it can never be disconnected. No matter for how long, even if we tend to forget, it will always come back to us in the future. Our lives always have tests but it shouldn’t make us bitter – it should make us better. There are varying degrees of suffering and all of them not only test our worthiness but increase it as well. Trials. Troubles. Tribulations. Life is a series of interruptions that are interrupted _by_ interruptions and it makes us realize that we are not the ones in control…

 

My thoughts roamed and stretched afar as I stared at the ocean of white and blue, slowly darkening with each passing minute, through the airplane window. A few days ago, I was sitting in the classroom with all the other students in my arts class when Ms. Lillian picked my rolled up paper, read it out loud with such shock in her voice, and now I’m sitting beside the window of a plane en route to London. I didn’t know that Ms. Lillian came from Wolverhampton – nobody in the class did. But it was unusual that I was the only one who didn’t know what her last name was. I never bothered to ask her nor my classmates. When I pass a work sheet to her, I always put her first name but she never bothered to correct it either. I wanted to ask her if she knew a certain Liam Payne but something in my mind told me this wasn’t the right time and that I should just let the chips fall where they may.

 

I return my attention to the yellowing sketch pad paper with the drawing of a spaceman and a cowboy. It felt different when you hear a description of it and when you see it with your own eyes. My fingers trailed across the paper until it reached the other object on my lap. A photograph with three males took my attention away from the drawing. In the middle was a man older than the other two. His hair had grey streaks emerging from it and a wide smile was etched onto his face. His right arm hung on the shoulder of a certain bleached blond haired boy I quickly identified as Niall. Brown steaks poked from the yellowish dominant color of his hair which looked good at him. His ears and face was a bit pink matching the smile he had on his face.

 

Before we left, Niall gave me these two things. I asked him why he was giving it to me, jokingly adding that he might cry if he didn’t have it anymore. But he smiled and told me that he didn’t need those things too much anymore to remember all of them by. I needed it, he said. I needed it so I would know what Liam looked like, if I was really going to pursue in looking for him.

 

“I wonder if he still looks like that…” murmured Niall, looking endearingly at the face of the dirty blond boy who had his hands shoved into his pockets, biting his lower lip, eyes glancing at Niall, and face deep scarlet as Niall’s dad’s arm hung over his shoulder.

 

The look on his face told me that he missed him. Of all those denials that he told himself that Liam wasn’t gonna be part of his life anymore, there was still the tiny part of him with a small speck of hope praying that he would see that dirty blond boy smile at him again.

 

The body beside me shifted again. Erika… I don’t know what’s her role in all of this mess I’ve got myself plunged into but she’s been a lot of help – especially to me. I don’t know why either. I feel all tingly when I’m beside her and there’s that smirk on Niall’s face when she’s close to me. “Weird man…” I muttered. I felt her hand brush over mine and I quickly withdrew it. The sky was darkening already. More than seventeen hours of flying and then I heard a voice from the speaker. “Ladies and gentlemen, we are beginning our descent on London. Please return to your seats and fasten your seatbelts.”

 

This was it. Britain here I come.

 

……..

 

It felt different now that I’m here. I was so close but the problem was I didn’t know where to start.

 

“C’mon, guys. This way, follow me and no running around. You don’t want to get lost.” We looked like a set of tourists when we exited the airport. Erika was behind me pushing my wheelchair and in front of us was Ms. Lillian. We were just standing there… why was that?

 

“Ms. Lillian?” I got her attention and continued, “What are we waiting for?”

 

She smiled. An excited look grew on her face. “Our ride.”

 

Out of nowhere a bus emerged following a black car. They both stopped in front of us and a man emerged from the car. I couldn’t believe my eyes. Then, he just had to remove his shades to reveal his chocolate brown eyes. Some of the girls behind us were giggling, pointing at the man, seemingly captivated by the man who was way beyond their years. Ms. Lillian hugged the man tightly, her smile more radiant as ever. “So glad to be back, dad!”

 

Wait, what?!

 

This can’t be happening.

 

No it just can’t.

 

Ms. Lillian’s dad was Liam Payne…?

 

Some kind of cold feeling made me shiver. When I though fate wouldn’t be crueler to Niall, it had to get worse. If Ms. Lillian was Liam’s daughter, doesn’t that mean that he has a wife now? So he _has_ moved on… The hope of reuniting Liam with Niall in me was on the verge of crumbling. I shouldn’t have given Niall a speck of hope only to take it down when I come back to San Diego. This was all too much – too much for me to handle. But then, Liam Payne went to me. Bending his knees, he went eye level with me for I was sitting on a wheelchair. Several whispers can be heard from behind me then there was a _shush_ and all of them fell into silence.

 

“Young man, Lily tells me you’re the one responsible for all of this?”

 

“Uh-huh… yeah, I suppose so.” Of all the things ready to be said in my mind, it settled with a worthless answer like that. I guess it’s because of his stare…

 

Liam smiled, “Thank you. It’s been a while since Lily came home… I’ll consider this your late birthday present to me.”

 

I stuffed my hand into my left pocket feeling the photograph and the folded sketch paper. It’s now or never… I sincerely hoped he wouldn’t take this badly. But before I could even pull it out, Ms. Lillian called out. “Dad, we better get going.”

 

With a grunt, Liam stood up. “Alright, alright… Uh, Zac, right? Mind sitting with me and Lily in the car? Your friend can sit there as well.” He motioned to Erika who just smiled.

 

“Sure.” I replied quickly. The perfect opportunity – if he doesn’t throw me out of the car that is.

 

The other students, to their annoyance and our pleasure, rode the bus with a tour guide. A friend of Ms. Lillian’s who, in a very weird way, who works with the mystery man who came to Principal Meyer’s office. Oddities aside, my mind had a hard time deciding whether the car was the right place to have a discussion involving Niall with Liam Payne. Erika’s constant _ooh_ -ing at all the beautiful places didn’t help with my concentration. At some point during out travel to the hotel, she finally noticed my meditative silence and decided to admire the sceneries quietly.

 

“You’ve been silent the whole way, Zac. Is there a problem?” Ms. Lillian checked us out from her seat in the front.

 

I smiled and shook my head. After doing so, I took a cautious glance at Liam. An action my art teacher didn’t miss and soon enough, she was whispering something to Liam. His brown eyes glanced at me from the rear view mirror and we drove in silence the rest of the way to the hotel.

 

……..

 

After a bit of freshening up, we had dinner. My other classmates sat in random tables, forming their respective groups. As usual, Erika was tailing me even after Ms. Lillian called me to sit with them at their table seeing that all the other tables were occupied at the moment. Even if I hated the special treatment, I had to do this in order to talk with Liam.

 

“Zac, we’ve been doing this discussion before…” started Ms. Lillian, absent-mindedly cutting the halibut on her plate. “Perhaps we can help you with this someone you are looking for.” She glanced at her father who was listening attentively, anticipating what I was going to say in reply.

 

I’ve already told Ms. Lillian the reason why I picked Wolverhampton but I didn’t mention it was Liam. Even then, I was cautious on mentioning the name, thinking that revealing the name would somehow do something unpleasant to the plan that was already in motion.

 

My hand reached down to my pocket, itching to shove towards Liam a picture of him in his youth with someone special to him… or _was_ special to him. “I’ve got a picture of him…” I finally managed to say.

 

Ms. Lillian nodded, “That would be of great help, Zac. Where’s the picture?”

 

No. Not here… “I already saw who I’m looking for…” I replied. “He’s here in the hotel.”

My declaration somewhat startled Ms. Lillian and Liam, and removed Erika’s attention from the carbonara. I can’t tell them now that it’s Liam. Perhaps I can make them wait a little longer? Long enough for me to meet Harry, Louis, Zayn, and Perrie as well… But what? Wait, that’s it!

 

“Do you know anyone named Zayn?” Their expressions became more startled, somehow the name rang a bell to them.

 

“This isn’t funny anymore, Zac.” My art teacher eyed me suspiciously. “First you knew about Wolverhampton yet you said you didn’t know anything about me. I suppose you looked it up on the web… But how did you know about Daddy Zayn?”

 

Now I was the one who was startled. “D-d-daddy Zayn? Are we talking about the same person here?” That sounded like a stupid question to me. Zayn wasn’t an ordinary name and of course we’re talking about the same person – I’m already talking to Liam Payne for crying out loud! I doubt that there are any more people named Liam that has a friend named Zayn.

 

“Probably…” commented Liam, “What’s your Zayn’s last name?”

 

We both know the answer to that. “Malik.”

 

Ms. Lillian clasped her hands over her mouth, unbelieving of what I just said. Liam had a hard look on his face, scrutinizing me for what felt like forever. “Lily, are you sure this is the same boy you told me about over the phone? Doesn’t match any of your descriptions…”

 

He was about to stand up when I caught his arm and handed him the photo. I had doubts they would ever talk to me again so I took the chance. Liam silently eyed the photograph, his breathing seemingly getting heavier. “Where did you get this?” he breathed out.

 

“From Niall…” I quietly replied.

 

Liam crumpled the photograph. What the fuck?! He just crumpled the photograph like that! So he didn’t want anything to do with Niall anymore… maybe that’s why he married someone else.

 

“Why did you do that?!” I yelled. The other people took notice.

 

“Don’t mess our brains up, young man. That photo couldn’t be from Niall!”

 

“Why not?!” I was ready to show him the sketch paper when he answered my question.

 

“Because Niall is dead!”

 

No way. No freaking way that was true. Niall was alive. Everyone who knew him in San Diego will give proof that he was alive. Ms. Lillian didn’t know what to say. She met Niall as well so she couldn’t possibly believe what her father is saying…

 

Liam stormed out of the dining hall and back to his suite. My art teacher looked at me, her eyes full of confusion of what just happened but there was a glint that told me she believed everything I just told them – she just had a hard time digesting all of it. She followed Liam, leaving me with Erika who was looking at me with such concern.

 

……..

 

**_September 7_ **

 

They were all staring at me. All of them bore some kind of discomfort about what Liam was telling them and all I can do is watch. We arrived at Wolverhampton two hours ago and the other students are in the museum. Me? I’m at one of their houses although I didn’t know whose it was. I don’t know why I’m not happy Erika wasn’t here but I guess it’s because I don’t want to be alone with a bunch of strangers whom I sincerely think that I pissed off after saying that the photo was from Niall.

 

They really thought Niall was gone… Did something happen?

 

“…I had enough of this shit.” Louis walked away from all the others; his face scrunched up and all of the sudden glared at me with those blue eyes. “What do you want, huh?” Louis started walking towards me, ready to pounce at any moment. Harry quickly came to my aid (although I think he didn’t really want to) and grabbed Louis before he got too close.

 

“Hey, hey, calm down, Louis. Just… sit down with me.” The two of them slumped on the couch, Louis still staring at me.

 

What I want? I wanted them to give me a chance to explain. I wanted them to listen to what I’m gonna say without any interruptions from their curses and swearing. My thoughts went through and fro from telling them what I know and asking them what happened when Niall left. It was something Niall didn’t really tell me. He skipped that part… and there has to be a reason why it’s like that. Then it hit me. My last resort…

 

I fished my phone from my bag and called Niall’s number. “C’mon… c’mon. Niall pick it up…” I muttered. I put it on speaker phone so all of them could hear.

 

“Hello?” Niall’s voice got their attention.

 

“Niall, it’s Zac…” I replied, carefully eyeing the expressions of the people around me.

 

“Oh, hey! Any luck with your little adventure?”

 

“I don’t know if you could call it lucky, Niall.”

 

“Why? What happened? Did you find Liam?”

 

There was a gasp from my audience. It was Perrie.

 

“Um… Niall, I want you to tell me one thing that only you and Liam knew.”

 

“What? Why?”

 

“I want proof to tell them I did meet you…”

 

“Alright…um…He knew that I liked writing smutty stories and posting them on the internet. And I knew, for he told me, that when he gets a puppy, he’ll call it Woody if it’s a boy and Jessie if it’s a girl.”

 

“Okay, thanks, Niall.”

 

“Anytime. Now, leave me alone with my chicken…”

 

I chuckled before ending the call, “Fine. Bye. Don’t get too fat while I’m gone.”

 

“Don’t worry; I’m not planning to…Bye.”

 

For what seems like forever of silence, Liam broke down, kneeling on the floor, crying. “It’s him… Niall’s fine… He’s alive… I didn’t look for him – I didn’t wait for him…” Perrie knelt down and comforted him. Zayn motioned that Harry and Louis bring Liam somewhere else for a while. They nodded and accompanied Perrie and Liam to the backyard. Zayn sighed, looking at Ms. Lillian and me; he finally sat down on the couch with a look like he was about to tell something important.

 

“Dad, what’s happening? Why does Daddy Liam know about Niall?” asked Ms. Lillian.

 

Like me, a lot of questions floated in her mind. A lot of secrets were kept from her by her family but I knew the reason why… They didn’t want Ms. Lillian to feel that she wasn’t loved. The way they were all so happy to see her again meant that they loved her very much. As for me, I didn’t know anymore what I was doing here. I knew that I was doing this for Niall… but why? He didn’t ask me to do it – I just did. My actions did so much already that I fear one false step could dissipate everything.

 

“Alright…” said Zayn after much deliberation with himself, “I’ll tell you why we thought Niall was dead.”

 

……..

 

**_18 years ago_ **

**Zayn’s POV**

 

“Are you okay?” I asked, wiping the tear off Niall’s cheek.

 

“Promise me one thing, Zayn?”

 

“Yeah, sure. Anything for our Nialler.” I hope I can keep my promise to him – whatever it was. I feel like it would mean so much to him.

 

“Promise me you’ll take care of my cowboy? He means a lot to me. He’s best I ever had. He’s brave, and kind and smart but the best thing about him is that he’ll never leave you. Ever. He’ll be there for you no matter what…”

 

That was a bit unexpected. I stared at him for a moment, my eyes started to sting although I promised myself not to cry when I see him off for San Diego.

 

“You think you can take care of him for me?”

 

I guess this was the first time Niall would see me cry but I didn’t care so I nodded, not finding the best words fit for his question.

 

“Thanks…”

 

Then he was gone. Niall was already inside and all we can do was go back to the car, for it was already dark, and drive back home. As we drove in silence, I could see in the rearview mirror how Louis was silently crying with Harry leaning on his shoulder; his face bore an unhappy mask. Perrie continued to try and contact Liam to no avail. He wasn’t answering the phone and Perrie was getting worried that something happened to him.

 

Niall’s dad went back to Mullingar after seeing his son off. He thanked us for being friends with Niall and loving him so much before leaving as well.

 

“I’m still not getting any answer from Liam…” she glanced at me, “Could you drive a bit faster? I’m having a bad feeling about this…” Even though Liam strikes me as someone who didn’t lost his cool, I can’t ignore the fact that he might have some tendencies as well that I didn’t know of – but it looks like Perrie has experienced some of it already.

 

Upon arriving at Liam’s house, we found it empty. No one was home. We searched the entire house but found no one there… Discarded clothes lay on the bed but all the other clothes were still in the closet. Liam must have gone out. That’s good – maybe all he needed was fresh air. My mind was saying everything was fine until Perrie muttered something, “No…no…please don’t tell me he went to a bar.”

 

I shook my head, “That’s impossible. We both know Liam doesn’t drink…”

 

“Yes.” Perrie handed me a piece of paper that was on the bed, “But look…”

 

_I know you’re looking for me right now… Please don’t. I just want to be alone for a while – just to clear my head. Don’t worry, I’m just gonna buy myself a drink._

_Liam._

 

“You’re not seriously believing what he wrote, are you?” I looked at her, unbelieving.

 

“Yes, I do…” she replied flatly.

 

I guess she was right because after hours of waiting and drinking coffee just to keep us awake, Liam came back in the dead of the night completely disheveled. Some of the buttons on his shirt weren’t buttoned properly and his hair was a mess. I could still smell the alcohol but there was something else… I smelled a woman’s perfume.

 

“Where have you been?” I asked.

 

Perrie was already knocked out on the other sofa so I didn’t wake her up anymore. When Liam didn’t answer, I repeated my question again.

 

“Why are you so nosy…?” he mumbled, resting his head on the couch.

 

“Your cousin’s been worried about you!”

 

“So what? It’s my own life and I can do anything I want to…”

 

I reminded myself to take it easy. This was the alcohol talking, no need to be hard on him – Liam didn’t know what he was saying. But he seemed to have read my mind…

 

“I’m not drunk, Zayn. This is me that’s talking… I’m so sick of Perrie always babying me all the time. I’m not a fucking child anymore.”

 

“What are you saying?! Liam, what’s happening?”

 

No answer.

 

It felt absurd just standing there waiting for his reply so I was about shake him up. That was until there were some sniffs and then Liam wiped off the liquid falling down his face.

 

He started crying; standing up, he went close to me and cried on my shoulder. “I’m having the worst hangover, Zayn… And it’s not because of the alcohol.” He finally confessed. I knew what he meant. Drunk from the misery – that’s what’s happening. I experienced something like this before but the only difference was someone pulled me out of my misery. The certain someone was gone now and the more tragic thing was that the person who pulled me out of my misery is the one who plunged Liam into his.

 

“I’m an asshole, Zayn.”

 

“Don’t say that, Liam…” I helped him sit back down on the couch. Boy was he heavy. For the first round of keeping my promise to Niall, this was a pretty tough one already. And I guess I probably shouldn’t have said that considering what was about to be revealed to me.

 

“Yes, I am, Zayn… I was in the bar and then there was this girl…” Liam groaned in frustration.

 

I can see now where this was going and I hoped I was wrong about this. “What happened, Liam?” I almost stammered at my question, for my mind was not ready to hear what Liam was undeniably going to say next.

 

“…I didn’t know what to do. I was miserable.” I didn’t mind my shirt getting wet from Liam’s tears but I did mind how Liam was delaying the answer I was waiting to hear. I already knew what was gonna happen next – I just want him to confirm it. I was ready for the sorrowing mistake that he did but I couldn’t say the same for Niall.

 

“She said it was sad that a guy like me was sulking so she took me to a room and then we – we – w – we did it. I let myself have my fucking way with her!” His voice became husky; the shouting strained his vocal cord.

 

“What happened after that?” I simply had to know. I wanted Liam to finish the story. I wanted him to let it all out. He had to… otherwise the guilt he’s feeling right now would be harder to contain. These certain kinds of guilt can provoke a person into something he or she doesn’t want to really do. But then again, the guilt and desperation makes that person blind of the error they are going to commit. I don’t want to fail Niall and leave him with a corpse to cry over when he comes back… Liam has to face the facts no matter what. I was sure Niall loves Liam enough to overlook that mistake provided that it wouldn’t be done again.

 

Liam started to calm down but his voice was still shaky, “I left. She was still asleep and I left. I already knew I did something wrong so I ran away from it…”

 

“Did you wear protection?” It was awkward, I know, but this wasn’t the time for that – I had to know, “Liam, please tell me that you did…”

 

After being silent for a while, Liam lifted his head slowly from my shoulder and crashed it to the couch, running his fingers through his messy hair. “I don’t know… I just – it all happened so fast that I…” his voice trailed off, seemingly disgusted of himself and at the same time embarrassed of confessing all of this to me – someone he hasn’t been with long enough.

 

“Liam… we – we’ll find a way out of this. Don’t worry, I’m sure Niall would understand. Why don’t you take a –”

 

The silence of the household got broken when furious knocks battered the front door. Perrie woke up from her slumber, shocked to find Liam blotchy red from crying while being slumped on the couch and staring at the ceiling. I opened the door but before I got it fully opened, Harry burst in followed by Louis who had a worried look on his face. Frantically, Harry rushed to the television, cursing at the remotes mixed up in one box. When he finally got the right remote and turned on the television, a reporter was reporting about a plane crash. “What’s happening?” I asked, confused why the two of them shows up in the middle of the night. No one answered so I focused on the television.

 

Fire trucks continued to pump water to the still blazing crash site and then I noticed the written news at the bottom of the screen:

 

**PLANE EN ROUTE TO SAN DIEGO CRASHES MINUTES AFTER TAKE OFF, ENGINE FAILURE SUSPECTED, NO SURVIVORS REPORTED TO HAVE BEEN FOUND**

 

The news didn’t strike me in any way until I re-read the news. A plane going to San Diego crashes… No survivors…

 

That’s when the world started crashing down. Niall was on board a plane to San Diego… There was only one flight to San Diego per day… It can’t be… My knees buckled making me kneel to the ground. This can’t be happening to us. There was no way that Niall was dead. I wasn’t a crybaby but there was no reason for my not to burst into tears and cry harder than I ever had.

 

Liam was having it worse than me. Louis and Harry were keeping him still as Perrie tried to calm him down but it was no use. “…No…No…NO! NO! NO! Niall don’t leave me! I’m sorry, Niall! DON’T LEAVE ME, NIALL! COME BACK! WHY DID YOU HAVE TO LEAVE ME RIGHT NOW?! THIS ISN’T FUNNY, NIALL! NOT FUCKING FUNNY ANYMORE!” Liam continued to thrash about, shouting furiously.

 

Perrie, my ever calm and stern girlfriend, couldn’t handle it anymore as well and started to tear up too. “Liam, please… I know it’s hard to accept but –” She buried her face on Liam’s chest, “– Niall wouldn’t want to see us crying like this… And even if we can’t stop from crying, at least calm down, Liam.” That somehow managed to stop Liam from thrashing. Seeing there was no need for restraint, Louis and Harry let go of their grasp of Liam and the sleepless night began.

 

……..

 

**_Present Day_ **

**Zac’s POV**

Zayn sighed after finishing the sentence. Reliving the memory of that night was really hard for him. Even if there was already proof that Niall was still alive, he has been bearing that sadness for a long time now and that’s something that wouldn’t go away so easily.

 

“So that’s the reason why you didn’t look for Niall?” Don’t get me wrong, I _was_ content with the reason but it still doesn’t explain why Niall was still alive… The only person who could answer that was Niall himself.

 

“Yes, that’s about it but how Niall survived baffles me still, young man.” Zayn and I had the same observation and that was good seeing that I wasn’t alone.

 

“I’m having problems connecting it with Niall’s survival as well, sir.” I confessed to him.

 

“Hmm… He didn’t mention anything on how he managed to reach San Diego?”

 

I searched my mind and even plucked out this diary but to no success. Niall left that part out. Perhaps this was the last part he was going to tell me but decided not to because of what my sister told him. Although I try hard not to blame her anymore, her name just keeps on popping up. I finally gave up searching my memories and the diary and returned my attention to Zayn, “Nothing… I’ve got nothing. I don’t remember Niall ever telling me anything about his arrival but he did mention his friend Ed to me and how he got robbed, for he was all alone then, when Ed’s parents forced their son to move to another school where he could be supervised by them. But that’s it – nothing more. He left out the final details…”

 

Zayn sighed again. This moment wasn’t really crying central but I can tell that all that was happening right now was as frustrating to them as the time when they thought Niall was dead. So I decided to change the subject the subject from Niall to Ms. Lillian. It still confuses me why she calls both Zayn and Liam “dad” or “daddy”.

 

“Um… Can you explain to me why Ms. Lillian calls you and Liam ‘dad’?” I hope that wasn’t too personal though.

 

Zayn glanced at Ms. Lillian who looked surprised with my question. “Well, to answer that question, Zac, we have to return to my previous story…

 

“When we thought things couldn’t get worse, the woman from the bar came knocking on the door. Her name was Danielle. She told us that she was pregnant and it was Liam’s. She didn’t really ask for anything more than for Liam to be there for their daughter. After giving birth, we planned to have a double wedding – me and Perrie, Liam and Danielle. Although she didn’t ask for one, Liam felt it was the right thing to do considering… A year has already passed and the wedding was a month away but then Danielle died. Nobody knew why she was the one that died in that car accident and the drunk driver that hit her car was the one still alive. Still grieving for Niall, Liam couldn’t bear someone connected to him die again.

 

“I must admit that in those two years of them together, Liam and Danielle became really close to each other. Nothing romantically attached but she understood what Liam felt about losing someone you loved. She was a great mom too and there were some times when Perrie would feel jealous of her because she already had a baby. When she died, Liam admitted that he wasn’t stable enough, both physically and emotionally, to take care of their daughter so we decided to adopt her, in Liam’s wishes as well.

 

“Her name was Lillian –” Zayn looked at Ms. Lillian again, finding that she wasn’t expecting that story either, “– and if you’ve seen Danielle or even a picture of her, Lillian was a mix of her and Liam – a little angel with slightly curly hair. We wanted to retain her last name to Payne but Liam insisted that she had to use mine. We did adopt her anyway… In Liam’s words, ‘she’s your cute little problem now – not mine.’”

 

“None of you told me that story before, dad…” said Ms. Lillian – I mean Ms. Malik (Ms. Lillian still sounds better in my preference).

 

Zayn smiled, expecting that she would say something by those lines, “Whether we tell you or not, it won’t matter anymore because we love you, dear. Those things you didn’t know didn’t shape you to who you are now – those things you knew did it. Your past won’t alter you one bit and it never will because you’ve already found out who you are.”

 

With that, Ms. Lillian hugged Zayn tightly only letting go when the door creaked and Liam went into the room.

 

“Zac, can I talk to you for a second?”

 

I nodded and pushed my wheelchair, following Liam to the kitchen even though I had no idea what was going to happen next.


	10. Nine || The Ginger Haired Variable

**Niall’s POV**

**_18 Years Ago_ **

 

I splashed water into my face again and wiped it off with my handkerchief. Of all the times to break down, an airport bathroom seems the least appropriate for me. I took off the earphones popped into my ears and listened for any announcements – nothing. I walked out of the bathroom until I noticed that I did something stupid… I left my phone in the bathroom sink. I ran back, relieved that it was still there but then, that relief was dispelled when I noticed the time: I was late for my flight.

 

Running for my life, I still didn’t make it. My discussion with the guard seemed to be going nowhere so I apologized for taking much of his time and walked away. What was I going to do? The plane was leaving without me. Maybe I could go back home but then again, it would hurt more to go back there now that I’m here. I scanned my phonebook; maybe Ed could help me with this dilemma.

 

I tapped my feet impatiently, waiting for Ed to answer the call. The first noise to greet me was the sound of a song playing and then, I heard Ed’s voice.

 

“Ahoy?” he let out a slight laugh. “Man, that’s weird and yet funny…”

 

I smiled as well. ‘Ahoy’ didn’t seem appropriate to be a greeting to anyone. “Ed, it’s me… Niall.”

 

“Hey, dude. Enjoying the flight?”

 

“Um…about that…” my voice trailed off.

 

“What happened?” his voice anxious to know the reason, ready to utilize his arsenal.

 

“The plane left without me. I was in the bathroom and…and…” This was embarrassing. I can’t tell him I missed the flight because I was crying in the bathroom!

 

“I’m fine if you don’t want to tell why. Don’t worry, I’ll be contacting Argo to pick you up and bring you to my parents’ plane…”

 

“Thanks, Ed… wait, what? No, no… Ed, that’s too much. You’ve done so much for me already. What if your parents get angry at you?”

 

He snickered, I can see him shrugging at my question, “It’s just sitting there for a week now; might as well use it before it catches rust. And don’t worry about my parents – they’re too busy with work and their socialization to even notice that their plane took off from London to San Diego. Just the same as they don’t notice _me_ that much…”

 

There goes the hatred he had to his parents again. They just weren’t there for him and it’s sad that even if he was rich, there was no one to love him. It was good though that he’s helping other people rather than acting like a spoiled brat that hates the world. There was no way I could repay all those things he already helped me with and this flight dilemma was at the top of the list – right beside helping me get a spot at the school I was going to right now.

 

“Alright… thanks, Ed.” I hope he could see my smile right now.

 

“Anytime, Niall. I’ll call Argo to fetch you right now.”

 

Argo was this guy who was as young as my brother. He’s Ed’s assistant/butler/caretaker of the mansion here in London who was serious all the time and rarely smiled. I was expecting a limousine but then it was just a white normal sized car but it still looked expensive. I was surprised to see Argo not dressed up in his tuxedo and rather be wearing a red collared shirt and a pair of jeans. The pointy, black shoes were kept though…

 

“I’m surprised you look casual, Argo…” I said in a teasing way.

 

“My tux was still in the dry cleaners, sir. I had to make myself fine with the casual clothes.” He looked at his watch before looking at back at me, “We best be leaving, Master Niall. Master Ed would want updates anytime soon.”

 

Even if I’m used to be called that because I was friends with Ed, it still startled me for I haven’t heard it in a while. The last time was before that party… I shook my head lightly and entered the backseat whose door Argo already opened for me. “Thank you.” I said as sat down on the seat, making myself comfortable. I laid my carry on beside me and Argo went to the driver’s seat and started the car again.

 

All the way through, I had my eyes closed. I don’t know why I was nervous – it was either because it was my first time to leave for another continent or it was because this was my first time to ride a private plane. The car stopped and Argo called out to me, “Sir, we’re here…”

 

I peeked through the window and saw the empty tarmac with nothing else but a small plane – the one you see in movies where rich people ride on. Kinda like the one in the Da Vinci Code owned by Leigh Teabing… Ugh. I have got to stop watching those movies Louis kept pestering me to waste my time on. The door beside me opened and I went out. Argo carried my only baggage, although it was undeniably light, and escorted me to the plane. The air was undeniably cold now and I shivered as we walked along the tarmac.

 

“Master Niall, perhaps this would help…” I turned to Argo who was handing me a jacket of some sort. When I didn’t recognize it, he smiled, which was very rare for him, and reminded me of what it is. “It’s your jacket, sir. You left it at the mansion after your visit two months ago when Master Ed was here.”

 

And so it was. The jacket was a gift from my bother for Christmas. It was different from all my other jackets because it was his first gift to me. I thought I lost it somewhere and now it’s back on my hands. I took off my bag pack and put on the jacket. I wasn’t feeling cold anymore. After I slumped my bag on my back again, Argo motioned me to the stairs leading to the inside of the plane. I hesitated for a moment, looking back at Argo who was at the bottom of the stairs, “You’re not coming with me?” It would be a boring trip without anyone with me and I really hoped Argo would come for I would like to ask about Ed’s life nowadays.

 

The young butler shook his head, “Afraid not, sir. There’s always things to do here in London – don’t want the maids to burn the mansion down… And of course, Master Ed’s parents won’t be too happy to find me flying around the world while their house sits idly by and gathers dusts and spider webs.”

 

“You could’ve just said ‘no’, Argo.” I said.

 

He put on his shades although it was the dark and replied, “It would be better to elaborate and explain more thoroughly one’s thoughts, sir. Rather than just saying simple remarks which leaves holes and gaps for people to wonder and ponder on or even perhaps produce questions that will lead to a never ending cycle of inquiry.”

 

“You know, I don’t get it, Argo, why you’re still working as a butler when you can do better things.”

 

“Like what, sir? A teaching career in a university? Trust me, sir. My salary as a butler is much more fulfilling than that of a faculty of any university you can throw at my face. Being a butler has its privileges – something I can’t find or even attain in any position other than this. I can’t consider this as a menial service position and I hope you don’t as well. Even if someone else offers me a job, I’d turn it down for I already found the perfect one for me.” He smiled again. Two in a row? Am I lucky or what? I guess that’s the Irish charm for you. “Oh, and don’t worry about getting lonely on the trip, sir. Eleanor would be with you all the way.”

 

So Eleanor was here… She was there in the mansion during my last visit. The sweet assistant of Argo (yes, Argo has an assistant too but only for some tasks) was the one accompanying me to San Diego. That’s nice. “May the force be with you, Argo.” Ah, yes, I still managed to tease him about that Star Wars thing back in the mansion.

 

His two fingers motioned to some kind of salute, “I would wave my wand first, sir, before I would lead those Storm troopers to battle. Have a nice trip.” He walked away; heading back to the car for it was time to get off the tarmac. When the car door closed, I went inside the plane. The door closed behind me and I walked slowly through the path in the middle. Everything seemed fragile for my hand to touch – even the metal gave off a luster saying I can’t attain something like this in my lifetime. I decided to sit by the window when Eleanor came, still smiling as the last time we met.

 

“Sir Argo told me to keep a close eye on you, Master Niall.” She gave me a stern look, restraining herself from even smiling, “Especially with the fridge because we have limited food. Our voyage was out of the blue and we didn’t have time to prepare.”

 

I laughed. Why do they always have a problem with my eating habits? “Don’t worry. I’m not going to ransack your storage and I’m surely not gonna succumb to cannibalism if we – please let it not happen – run out of food.”

 

Eleanor raised her eyebrow, “Master Niall, I’m sure you won’t chew the flesh off my bones while we’re on air travel. There’s no need to engage in _reductio ad absurdium_ … So far as I hope you won’t stretch more of my sentences and statements to ridiculous proportions.”

 

The both of us stared at each other for a while before breaking into laughter. Her laugh was still the same but I must profess that I was really convinced by her spontaneous sternness. “Argo has influenced you so much already…” I commented.

 

“Probably… Sir Argo does have that aura that frightens all – even the older, er, people in the mansion. But if you can keep it a secret, Sir Argo is never like that with Master Ed and you. The aura subsides to a friendlier one.” She disappears for a moment only to reappear again with a trolley carrying what I suspect as food.

 

“I can testify to that. He smiled twice in a row while we were at the tarmac…”

 

“That’s a surprise… Oh yes, dinner is served.” She lifted the lid to reveal the dish inside.

 

“Looks delicious.” Eleanor nodded and began to walk away. “Care to join me?” I offered. She shook her head; a frown can be seen on her face. “We’re not supposed to –” Her stomach growled and she turned pink. I pushed away the plate, crossing my arms, “I’m not gonna eat that until you join me…” She gave a sigh and sat down opposite to me.

 

After that lovely dinner, I fell asleep only to be woken up by Eleanor for we were about to land. All of my things were placed neatly on another table and I found myself on a makeshift bed which turned out to be the upholstered chairs we were sitting on last night. She did the liberty of setting me in bed and putting a blanket over me. “What time is it?” I mumbled, rubbing my eyes and yawning from time to time.

 

“It’s almost eight in the morning, sir.” Eleanor stood at the end of the makeshift bed, her face looked more appropriate than what I think my face looks like right now. It’s like she doesn’t need sleep at all. I combed my hair randomly before standing up and putting on my socks and shoes. Still having jetlag, I stood up and made my way to the toilet to freshen up.

 

When I got out, the first thing I saw was Eleanor reading something on my laptop, giggling at the same time. “What are you doing?” She couldn’t be reading my stories! Those things aren’t for the faint hearted and rather repulsed by graphic love making… She quickly stood up; looking all scared when in fact I was the one freaking out because she might have read the mature part. “Sorry, sir. I couldn’t help but notice that you were writing something last night and I just wanted to take a peek… It’s nice, actually. Even the part where they start doing it…”

 

My face was turning pink, “H-how much did you read?”

 

“I was almost at the end…” she grinned.

 

The plane landed and before I got off, Eleanor mimicked a line from the story I was writing. “Oh…yes, faster! Faster!” The horror rushed through me. Sweet Glaux, this is embarrassing! Ugh. Never will I leave my laptop open again for any reason at all – even if I would just go and fetch some food from the fridge. Speaking of food, my stomach growled in hunger already. It was a good thing Ed arrived just in time and brought me to the nearest McDonalds.

 

Before we left, Eleanor talked to him about something. I couldn’t hear what they were saying because I was already in the car. She had a worried look on her face and Ed sighed after hearing her out. He patted her shoulder and bid her goodbye.

 

As we drove to the apartment, I munched the cheeseburger while being careful not to let any of it fall on the car. Ed found it amusing that I ate carefully while in the car, “Don’t worry, Niall. This car is messy eater proof…”

 

“I’m not a messy eater…” I pointed out.

 

“Ha! Says the guy who sticks his fingers into a Nutella jar and offers it to other people.”

 

“Honestly! I don’t make a mess when I eat – I swallow up the whole goddamn thing before even a bit of it thinks of falling to the ground. And about that Nutella incident, it was true! It did taste better when I licked it off my fingers!”

 

“I believe you but you didn’t have to stick it close to Argo’s face while he was busy doing important work on the table. You know how he doesn’t like that!”

 

I rolled my eyes, “Yeah, yeah. Sorry about that… Anyways, how’s life here in California?” I was anxious to know how it felt to live here. I had my expectations but of course, Ed’s say on it would be much better than expecting something that wouldn’t happen. Then there was the school. I wondered how long it would take me before I succumb to hunger for food. I laughed at myself for thinking about that.

 

“Not much…” said Ed in a rather monotonous voice, “I bet you’ll love Comic Con. Plenty of excitement. I’ve only been to one though – the one last July. I dressed up as Green Lantern.”

 

“Hmm…” I was considering going to it the next time, “Any chance they would let Buzz Lightyear in?”

 

“Maybeee… Just don’t go shouting ‘To infinity and beyond’ in every hallway of the convention center.”

 

The two of us laughed for a good two minutes but then, silence spread in the car. All I can hear are the cars passing us. When Ed decided to talk again, it wasn’t what I expected. “Eleanor told me that –”

 

“No, she shouldn’t have read that –”

 

“I’m not talking about those stories you told me you’re writing, Niall.”

 

“Oh…”

 

“Eleanor told me you were muttering in your sleep. It was something about a certain Liam… And then, of course, there was something about Zayn, Louis, and Harry. There was this Perrie as well. She also mentioned that you were crying when you were talking about this Liam guy in your sleep… Are you okay?”

 

I nodded, “I’m okay, Ed. That was a dream, right? Most of it probably was just something my mind made up so no need to worry…”

 

“Are you sure?” There was worry in his voice, “I don’t want to wake up in the middle of the night just to find you rolling on the floor and crying to death, Niall. That’s just unbearable…”

 

“Nothing like that’s ever going to happen, I assure you…”

 

“Alright… but if you ever need to talk about something, I’m okay with that.”

 

“Thanks.”

 

**_Present Day_ **

****

**_San Diego_ **

 

I woke up with cold beads of sweat on my forehead. The air that night was humid so that figures why I was sweating. But I can’t figure out why of all the times I should remember that certain memory, it would be tonight. Despite not seeing each other, Ed and I keep in touch. The last time I saw him was at Comic Con last year and it was to my surprise that Argo was there dressed up as Darth Vader. It seemed nice that his parents finally realized how valuable their son is. Before Ed’s father died, he said sorry so many times that Ed had to let it all out in his room. Now, he’s taking care of his mother who was diagnosed with cancer. I visited once, a few months after his father’s death, and she was different from those teenage days I spent going to their house in London when I didn’t have any classes. She was a lot sweeter – and that’s just me being nice because she was scary back then.

 

My body wanted to go back to sleep but I still forced myself to get out of bed. I glanced at the clock – it’s almost four in the morning. After squinting in the darkness and finally finding the switch, I dragged myself to the kitchen to whip up some hot cocoa. When I got on the couch and turned on the TV, Mr. Potato Head welcomed me with his almost funny voice. That reminded me of Zac…. He called last night asking me something only me and Liam knew. Did he already find him?

 

Shaking it off my head, I took a sip of the chocolate. I shouldn’t get my hopes up that easily… Less than a week’s time was not enough to find somebody you don’t even really know. I bet Zac’s frustrated right now and can’t focus on their field trip because of this and I feel responsible for it. I shouldn’t have told him my story. If only I knew that he would be so interested in it to go into something as extreme as this, I would have just taught him some tricks I did with my guitar.

 

I sighed. Putting the mug down the coffee table, I fetched my old guitar and sat back down the couch. My fingers ran down all through it as my mind scrambled to find a song to play. It’s been a while since I sang all alone in the apartment and I hope my voice was still fine enough not to wake up the neighbors but lull them back to sleep instead.

 

_For the way you changed my plans_

_For being the perfect distraction_

_For the way you took the idea that I had_

_Of everything that I wanted to have_

_And made me see there was something missing_

_For the ending of my first begin_

_And for the rare and unexpected friend_

_For the way you’re something that I’d never choose_

_But at the same time something I don’t wanna lose_

_And never wanna be without ever gain_

_You’re the best thing I never knew I needed_

_So when you were here I had no idea_

_That you’re the best thing I never knew I needed_

_So now it’s so clear I need you here, always_

_My accidental happily ever after_

_The way you smile and how you comfort me_

_With your laughter_

_I must admit you were not part of my book_

_But now if you open it up and take a look_

_You’re the beginning and the end of every chapter_

 

As I repeated the chorus, I noticed a tear falling out of my eye and running down my cheek. Ed was the one who sang this to me when I told him about Liam. He said I shouldn’t worry so much because if my ending with him wasn’t good then, he’s not done in my life yet.

 

_Who knew that I could be_

_So unexpectedly_

_Undeniably happy with you right here,_

_Right here next to me_

_‘Cause you’re the best thing I never knew I needed_

_So when you were here I had no idea_

_You’re the best thing I never knew I needed_

_So now it’s so clear I need you here, always_

_Now it’s so clear that I need you here always_

 

……..

 

**_September 7_ **

****

**_Wolverhampton_ **

**Zac’s POV**

 

Liam sat down by the dinner table after making him and me something to drink. Why was it always coffee? I felt like some stressed out man, working all the hours of his life, while drinking the slightly bitter beverage. Liam cleared his throat after seeing that I was a little bit distracted at the moment with my thoughts wandering around.

 

“I wanted to say sorry for my behavior last night.” Liam took another sip of his coffee without removing his eyes off me.

 

“What you did was natural…” Somehow I found the courage to talk to him again, “I’m the one that should be sorry. I didn’t know something like that happened. I shouldn’t have been too drastic.” I too took another sip of the coffee finding it relaxing and calming.

 

Liam gave a slight laugh, “The most unexpected move you did wasn’t the picture, Zac. It was the phone call…” He gulped, taking a deep breath afterwards, “Before that, I felt that you were just toying around with us – a teenage brat taking pleasure in a man’s misery – but when I heard Niall’s voice, I just felt something I thought left me when he disappeared from my life.”

 

“Well, I’m glad I could help. Niall has become dear to me after the first time we met at the nursing home…”

 

“He lives in a nursing home?” Liam’s face looked worried.

 

“Haha. Funny… That’s what I thought so at first too but no. He works there as a cook…”

 

Liam smiled, staring absent-mindedly at his cup of coffee, “So he _did_ become a chef…”

 

“Yep. The best cooking there is…”

 

“Niall…”

 

“You know, I really hope you can come with me back to San Diego…”

 

Liam placed the cup of coffee down, looking at me with a surprised expression.

 

“Are you serious?”

 

“Well, that depends –”

 

The phone in the kitchen suddenly rang and Liam stood up to answer it. “Hello?” Liam looked behind me, straight to the living room, searching for Ms. Lillian. “Yes, one moment please… Uh, Lily!” Ms. Lillian emerged from the living room. “What is it?”

 

“It’s the principal from the school…”

 

Ms. Lillian hesitated for a moment, probably wondering why the sudden call from Principal Meyer. “I wonder why…” She muttered before taking the receiver from Liam and placing it on her ear, “Hello? This is Ms. Malik speaking… Yes, sir. They are at the museum right now… Uh, I’m fixing some things right now but they have a tour guide with them… What about the sponsor…? He wants to speak to me…? And Zac as well…? How did he – Yes, of course. Here’s my number…”

 

The sponsor wants to talk to me? Why?

 

After giving Principal Meyer her number, Ms. Lillian hung up the phone and sat beside Liam. Zayn went inside the kitchen as well, wanting to know what was happening most probably. “Who was that?” he asked before fishing out of the fridge a can of Coke.

 

“Principal Meyer. He said he’ll call me again after –” Ms. Lillian was cut off when her cellphone rang. She pulled it out of her pocket, “Yes, sir… Yes, Zac is here with me… Alright, I’m putting you on speakers…”

 

“He-hello? Can you hear me?” Principal Meyer’s voice sounded from the phone.

 

“Yes, sir, we can…” answered Ms. Lillian.

 

“Alright then, uh, where to start… Oh yes, uh, the sponsor called me this morning asking about the field trip. I told him you’ve already landed on London and are on tour as we speak but then, he requested me to inform you that he wants to meet up with you and he also told me to tell you to bring Zachary as well. I asked him why that is so but he just rudely answered that it was none of my business…”

 

“That’s a little inappropriate…” commented Ms. Lillian.

 

“Yes, I know but then he took it back and said sorry. After mentioning that he would like to meet at a café called Monroe’s at 60 Tettenhall Road there in Wolverhampton, he just hung up. After that, I called you immediately.”

 

“Wait… how did he know about Zac?”

 

“I don’t know Ms. Malik but he seems to have a sufficient amount of knowledge about Zachary. And before I almost forget, he also mentioned that you can bring along your father if he is willing… One o’ clock – your local time.”

 

Liam and Zayn looked surprised.

 

“Which one, sir?” asked Ms. Lillian.

 

“Eh?” Principal Meyer didn’t seem to have gotten what Ms. Lillian said.

 

“I’m adopted, sir. But my biological father is also here…”

 

“Oh, um, perhaps it would be better if they were both to come along…”

 

“Alright, sir, thank you for that…”

 

“One more thing, Ms. Malik…”

 

“Sir?”

 

“I don’t like where all of this is heading. Perhaps it would be better if you don’t let your guard down.”

 

“Will do, sir.”

 

Principal Meyer hung up leaving us silent for a moment. I took a final sip of the coffee, draining the cup of it. The people around me were eyeing each other without a sound but it seems like they understood every glint in their eyes.

 

“You’re going?” asked Liam. Ms. Lillian nodded, standing up and grabbing her phone on the table, “Yes, and I’m hoping the two of you will too…”

 

As me and Ms. Lillian waited by the car for Liam and Zayn to get dressed, I started up a conversation – something I hope wasn’t too personal, “Ms. Lillian, how do you do it?”

 

“Do what?” She looked at all confused of my sudden question.

 

“Coping up with having two dads…”

 

“It ain’t easy,” she said, smiling, “Especially when I was younger. When I was a teenager, there are always many stuff going on so I had to balance my time with the both of them. Of course, Liam doesn’t mind if Zayn gets to spend more time with me – for I did live in his and Perrie’s house. And it’s kinda fun having two dads with me – like during my debut party.”

 

“Really?” I was getting interested with her answer to my question, “How come?”

 

“Well, at that time all my friends still haven’t seen my dads cause it’s always Perrie who comes to school.” She started giggling for no reason at all, “And when I went out to the party, Zayn and Liam were escorting me. My friends dragged me, begging to know who those two who escorted me were. They were so embarrassed when they found out that Liam and Zayn were my dad… I don’t blame them. It’s not their fault my two dads are ridiculously gorgeous…”

 

We heard the front door open and the two we were waiting for came out. Liam was wearing a grey shirt under a blazer with matching pants and Zayn was wearing a checkered long sleeve along with his skinny jeans. Ms. Lillian raised her eyebrow, “I said casual – not something you’d wear on a date.”

 

“Aw, c’mon, sweetheart, can’t you give us a chance to wear something like this again?” pleaded Zayn.

 

“I would but we end up with girls staring at the two of you, wondering if you’re available…”

 

“But that was when you were in high school!” added Liam.

 

“Fine…” Ms. Lillian gave up, “But the two of you still look like you’re having a date with each other.”

 

Zayn groaned, “Not you too! Perrie already said that a few minutes ago…”

 

Ms. Lillian smirked, “I told you to dress casually…”

 

Liam opened the car door, “Honey, please, let’s go… And don’t pester us with that anymore. You know far too well that your two dads never had and never will have romantic attachments to each other.”

“None that I know of…” she muttered before following me into the car and closing the door.

 

We drove for a while before arriving at the café Principal Meyer said the sponsor was meeting us. Upon entering, Liam and Zayn caught a glimpse of someone they knew. “Isn’t that the guy from Dani’s funeral?” asked Liam and Zayn nodded, “Yeah, it’s Ed. I wonder…”

 

They were looking at a guy with ginger hair, reading a newspaper while sipping something in a teacup. The man beside him noticed us and whispered something to this Ed guy. The man wearing a less executive suit stood up and the ginger haired guy placed down his newspaper and greeted us with a smile. “Well, well, if it isn’t Zayn and, uh, it’s Liam, am I right…?”

 

Liam just nodded but Zayn cocked up his brow, “Surprise to see you here, Ed. I thought you were in America…”

 

“Oh I just arrived here last night…” Ed’s gaze drifted from Liam and Zayn to me and Ms. Lillian. He looked surprised when he saw her, “Is this little Lily? My stars how you’ve grown! Starting to look like your mother – so beautiful – and I hope you inherited her brains as well.”

 

“Thank you, sir…” answered Ms. Lillian with a slight distance in her voice.

 

“I see you don’t remember me. Understandable, you were just a year old back then.” His eyes then fixed on me, “Ah yes, Zachary.” I gulped, feeling the weight of his stare. “Niall has told me a lot about you…”

 

Liam, Zayn, and Ms. Lillian shot a serious look at Ed who just smiled upon noticing it. “Why did you want to talk to us, Ed?” asked Zayn. Ed waved at his companion and slipped a paper onto the table before taking another sip of the beverage in his cup.

 

A flight schedule? I looked at him and something in his eyes told me we were both thinking of the same thing. He smirked, putting down the teacup. “I wanted to give Niall a little something for his birthday. Thank you for the idea by the way, Zachary.”

 

My eyes widened. How did he know about that? “You look surprised… Isn’t that why you wanted to go here in the first place? What you think is a little something is worth far more to him than anything else. It’s just so remarkable and fascinating that a boy like you – of your age and state – would plan so much just to fulfill a promise that was made long before you were even born. I guess fate never runs out of tricks…”

 

“Is that why you sponsored a field trip for the school?” Ms. Lillian asked.

 

Ed nodded, “Yes, but of course I also heard that you’ve always wanted to go back home but just couldn’t because of your tight schedule. To be honest, I was really surprised with the turn of events, namely, the fact that your father was the same Liam that Niall has told me about all those years ago.”

 

“But I don’t get it why you were so sure that mine was the one going to be picked…” I added.

 

“Oh that’s easy… I had Argo here to do that task for me,” he motioned to his assistant of some sort who slightly nodded at us. “You see, even if the first one didn’t get blown away, Zachary’s choice will still be picked.”

 

“How?” asked Ms. Lillian curiously.

 

Ed smiled, “Simple. You left the fishbowl on your desk, am I right?” Ms. Lillian’s eyes widened, “I had you and Zachary monitored by Argo and Eleanor. When you left, Argo replaced all the entries in the rolls of paper into one variable – Wolverhampton.”

 

“How did you know that was my choice?” I asked.

 

“Was that even hard to figure out? Niall called me a day before he visited you in the hospital and discussed what to do about you. He said it was your sister who told him about it. I had nothing against your idea so I suggested to Niall to just let it be…”

 

We were all silent for a moment.

 

Ed smiled again, looking at us amusingly. His eyes turned to Liam after which he poured another batch of coffee from the teapot to his cup. “Most of us waited for this to happen for a long time. Now, how long will we stare at each other in silence and lie to yourselves that you haven’t already decided to go?”


	11. Ten || Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow

**_September 10_ **

_I’m back to writing on my diary! Hooray for me! After that unusual encounter with Ed, whom we found out, was the mysterious man that has been knowingly helping my plans, Ms. Lillian and I joined in my classmates in the last tour of famous places in Wolverhampton. Ms. Lillian found it uninteresting, of course, for she lived here when she was younger._

_Our last day here in Wolverhampton… In less than a week of being here, I really missed home. To be honest, I missed my sister and my parents. On the course of our stay here, Niall’s four closest companions taught me many things there is about life._

_Harry and Louis taught me that you should never be afraid to tell your feelings. If they weren’t that brave enough to admit their feelings for each other and to their families as well, they wouldn’t be here to find out that their little leprechaun was still alive. They told me that sometimes love is just by your side and all you have to do is notice it. Although I can’t understand why Louis winked at me after saying that and Harry giggled._

_Zayn taught me that everyone was imperfect. Even in his glorious self, as Ms. Lillian and his wife, Perrie, would describe it, Zayn was still a person. Ms. Lillian’s adoptive parents weren’t perfect. They were frustrated at times, especially when their second child came into the world and Ms. Lillian became a teenager, but somehow they still had time to tell each other that they love them so much. Zayn and Perrie showed me that these little imperfections that they had made them perfect for each other and was a sign for each and every second that the love of their life was still there with them._

_And of course, Liam… I think I will never understand why someone as kind as him would go through so much pain. But I guess that’s what made him so sturdy in his life as the years passed. Even if he lived with the thought that Niall was gone even though he was not, he still managed to hold on. Maybe it’s because he has friends that are always there for him – a special group of people who loved him so much and took care of him when his special snowflake was thought to be lost._

_On a lighter note, I didn’t really quite understand how Ed’s plan worked. All I understood was that he already sent a pre-birthday gift to Niall and Argo (his butler who is so awesome!) was the one delivering it. He took the liberty of proclaiming that the gift was both his and mine. He didn’t tell us what it was but he did hint that it had something to do with a jacket by which point Argo’s lips curled into a slight smile after hearing the hint._

_The bus just stopped… Time for lunch! After this, it’s goodbye Britain and hello San Diego._

_Zac._

 

**Third Person POV**

 

**_Wolverhampton (2:12 pm)_ **

 

Ed smiled after hearing the news Argo reported. He placed his phone on the table and sliced through the medium rare steak on his plate. “Looks like somebody got ahead of us – or more specifically, Liam.” The others with him on the table looked to him, removing their attention from the food. Zayn took a gulp of the water beside his plate before speaking, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

 

“Nothing… But I do hope it doesn’t ruin the real surprise from me and Zachary.” Ed grinned and went back to eating. Zayn rolled his eyes and continued eating as well while Perrie and Liam looked at each other, asking in silence.

 

On the next table beside them was where Ms. Lillian, Zac, Erika, Harry, and Louis were sitting. Zac can’t seem to focus on his food, cocking his head to the right from time to time to listen to the conversations on the next table which were usually started by Ed. Harry snickered upon seeing Zac’s behavior, “Eat first before eavesdropping, young man. You can try but you’ll never know what they’re talking about unless you ask them.”

 

“How come you all agreed to him and his idea so quickly?” asked Zac.

 

“Well, Ed isn’t really someone who we aren’t familiar with. Even though he never actually stays in one place for more than a year – you know, travelling back and forth from London and Los Angeles – he’s still part of the family, especially to Niall and me.” explained Harry, “He was there when Danielle died too. He’s very supportive in any way he can…”

 

“He was there in Danielle’s funeral because she was one of his employees – one of Argo’s assistants to be exact.” Louis added on before popping another slice of his food into his mouth, “It’s odd that he never mentioned to us that Niall was still alive though. Zayn told me that Ed said he never knew that the Liam Niall was telling him about was the same Liam that was Lillian’s father and that’s a lie. He knew. He was withholding things from us that we should have known sooner. But I can’t blame him from that. None of us would have believed him anyway unless there was proof – like the call you did – and of course, mentioning Niall to Liam at that time would be hard… so to speak.”

 

“I know this is the third time I’ve said this in a week but, how come none of you told me that about my mother or any of these things before?” asked Ms. Lillian, finishing off the food on her plate after which she leaned onto the chair, waiting for Louis’ and Harry’s reply.

 

Louis smiled, “Sweetheart, had we known that you wanted to know more about your real mother, we would have told you but you were so happy with the life you already had – a kind-hearted woman who became like a real mother to you, two charming fathers, and of course, two uncles that treat you with all the love in our hearts as if you were our very own. There was no need to add another portion from the past that was not exactly heart-warming. If it ain’t broken, why should we fix it anyway?”

 

Harry nudged Louis by the arm, “Couldn’t have said it better myself, BooBear!”

 

“Actually, it’s three dads…” said Ms. Lillian, smiling brightly. All those that were at the table looked at her, especially Louis and Harry.

 

Harry looked at her puzzled, “What are you talking about? Your dads are only –” But then, his eyes widened and he looked at Louis. They shared a thought for a moment until Louis clasped his hands on top of his mouth. The two of them looked at Ms. Lillian with excitement while Zac and Erika looked at each other, seemingly asking each other what was happening. Harry made a light shrieking sound before grinning and asking Ms. Lillian further. “Are you serious about that, Lilly?! Is he really going to –”

 

“Yes…” answered Ms. Lillian before the question was even finished, “He asked me about it last night and I said it was alright and I was happy for him and happy that I’m getting a new dad.”

 

Harry couldn’t contain his excitement and wrapped himself around Louis who was also submerged in a feeling that something wonderful and glorious happened all of the sudden. “W-wait, wait…” Zac’s eyebrows furrowed, “What do you mean by ‘new dad’, Ms. Lillian?”

 

Ms. Lillian took a sip of the water and gave Zac a wink, “Can’t tell you that right now, Zachary. You do have the reputation to meddle in things… We want to leave you out on this one perhaps. But don’t worry, you’ll find out soon enough.”

 

Erika started giggling when Ms. Lillian glanced at her, “Well, it looks like even Erika knows what I’m talking about…” Zac looked frustrated. How come he doesn’t get to know? So much for gratitude… He pleads to Erika to tell him but she shook his head, “Sorry, Zac, but we don’t want you to ruin the surprise…”

 

“Oh, come on…please?” Zac continued pleading to no avail.

 

“Maybe I will if you stop being blind and looking elsewhere, Zachary.” Erika stood up smiling at him in a way Zac didn’t understand. But unlike him, the three grown-ups with him seem to have gotten the point.

 

“What’s that supposed to mean?!” asked Zac, irritated already.

 

Louis shook his head, “You’ve dedicated your time and effort in getting Niall and Liam back together and yet you don’t seem to have a clue about those people waiting for you to notice them… If it was a snake, you’d be dead by now. For a boy who did so much for other people’s love, you’re pretty oblivious on your own love life…”

 

“I don’t have a love life!” snapped Zac, turning red in embarrassment.

 

“You keep denying it…” argued Harry, “Please don’t keep yourself blind in this otherwise, all her efforts of helping you would all be in vain. Realize that before it’s too late.”

 

“That’s too deep, even for him, Uncle Harry…” said Ms. Lillian.

 

Zac was just confused. What were they talking about? And who’s ‘she’? All her efforts will be in vain… The last person he ever liked was Dorothy and she turned out to be a homophobic bitch. The ‘don’t seem to have a clue’ part was really harsh or was he really? Zac stared blankly at the table, the voices around him muffled slowly until he couldn’t understand a thing. Erika’s sentence echoed in his mind and her face came into view… He felt warm all of the sudden when he remembered how she was there when his other friends weren’t; she was right beside him all the time since that day they first talked to each other in the empty classroom. Zac groaned. He could really use a talk with Niall right now to clear his head.

……..

 

**_San Diego (6:15 am)_ **

 

The pasta water was already boiling when Niall heard someone knocking on the door. He groaned before placing the pasta into the pot. The sauce was already cooked and in just a few minutes, he’ll be having breakfast… Everything was perfect until the knock on the door. Why the hell would someone come so early in the morning? Sure enough, if that person knocking still hasn’t eaten, he’ll be forced to share the food he’s cooking. He walked slowly towards the door, annoyance spreading through him. It was probably Mrs. Harper again – always asking for the best dishes to cook for dinner and lunch. The knocking subsided when Niall got close to the door, “Finally…” he muttered before grabbing the doorknob and opening the door.

 

To his surprise, the most unlikely face stared at him. Argo smiled when Niall had his mouth agape when he saw him. Niall blinked thrice before he could utter a word to the butler he hasn’t seen for a while. Three days before his birthday and Ed’s butler decides to visit him. It must be urgent because he didn’t receive any calls from Ed to announce Argo’s visit so early in the morning. “What are you doing here?”

 

“Advance party, Master Niall… Master Ed sent me to surprise you. I have with me a gift from both him and Zachary. Although I’m not allowed to show you what it is until you oblige to the rules set up in order for this gift giving process to work properly.” Argo glanced at the black, sleek car by the road.

 

“So it’s in the car… Sure, okay, I-I’ll play along. What am I supposed to do anyway?” asked Niall, curious to what Ed was up to. And Zac? So the two of them have met. Does that mean he has meet Liam as well? Or maybe he met Ed in the airport…

 

Argo handed him a black handkerchief, “You need to be blindfolded first, sir.” Niall nodded and Argo tied the blindfold over Niall’s eyes. He didn’t know where this was going but knowing Ed, it would be beyond Niall’s expectations. “Does the gift have something to do with cooking?” he asked but Argo just laughed. “Oh, no, sir. But I think it’s safe to say that it’s alive…”

 

That sent shivers down Niall’s spine. Alive? Was it a clown? Oh please not a clown… “Is it something creepy?” said Niall in an almost whispering voice. “Argo? Are you still there?” No one answered. Everything was black and Niall almost removed the blindfold when he heard Argo’s voice again, “Sit down, sir.” And so he did and he landed on something soft. For a second there, fear crept through him and then he felt pathetic when he realized it was his couch.

 

Then, he heard footsteps that were slowly fading. “Where are you going?!” shouted Niall.

 

“I’m just going to get the present, Master Niall.” replied Argo who was at the door.

 

Everything was silent for a while and Niall felt it was weird. He heard footsteps again but it sounded like there were two other people in the room beside himself. “Argo, what’s going on?” He heard a slight gasp and a clearing of throat before Argo spoke, “Alright, Master Niall, stand up before removing the blindfold.”

 

Niall slowly stood up and then he unloosened the tied black handkerchief. “I don’t get it why we had to go through all the theatrics, Argo. You could’ve just handed me the –” He stopped talking when he saw who was standing beside Argo. Someone he hasn’t seen in a long time. Someone he looked up to when they were younger and now, he had streaks of white hair on his head. Someone he missed sorely as much as he missed Liam.

 

“You still have that jacket I gave you for Christmas right, Niall?” His brother stood there smiling at him, stopping himself from crying.

 

“H-how…w-why is…Oh my God…” He couldn’t even form a single sentence. He was right there – Greg, his brother whom he hasn’t seen for ages was right in front of him, smiling, and asking about the jacket and all he could say that was understandable was ‘OMG’. Greg started laughing, “In any case, dear brother, I am not a hologram…”

 

Niall instinctively ran towards him and flung his arms around his brother. When he finally nuzzled into his chest, Niall started to cry. Greg patted his back after which he let out a snicker, “Even when we’re old enough to be parents, you’re still a crybaby? Honestly, Niall, that’s just…just the way I remember you.”

 

“How’s mom and dad?” Niall murmured.

 

“Well, they’re resting now…” answered Greg in a sad yet accepting tone.

 

“Oh…” Sadness suddenly filled Niall. Of all those years not seeing them, he wasn’t even given a chance to say goodbye. To thank them for being loving parents to him. Greg grabbed his shoulders and met Niall eye to eye, and then he brushed his thumb over the tear on Niall’s face and smiled, “But I think they’re happy that we finally had the chance to see each other again. We all thought you were dead, Niall, and it’s happy to know that you are not.”

 

“Why did you think I was dead?” asked Niall.

 

“The plane we thought you were on crashed minutes after takeoff and there were no survivors…”

 

“But I never got on that plane. I was busy crying in the bathroom that I didn’t notice the time so the plane left without me. I called Ed and he arranged a private flight for me to San Diego.”

 

“Remember when you told me that life hasn’t been kind to you Niall?” asked Greg with a smile on his face. Niall nodded. “I think you should take that back because until now you’re still alive and now, you’ve got your own place and I also heard you’re a chef now… Maybe that’s why you didn’t make it to your flight – you still have a lot of things to do, Niall. A lot of people to meet and become part of their lives. You’ve always been special and I know someone dear to you made you realize that and I hope you’ll never forget that.”

 

“I almost did forget, Greg, but then this boy reminded me of it…”

 

“Well, I guess that’s another reason to be thankful for – that a mere boy became the spark in order to rekindle the flame that has been put out. When Zachary comes back here, I think you should thank him.”

 

“I think thanking him will never put me out of his debt. But hold on a second, how did you know Zac? Did the two of you meet too?” Greg shook his head, “Oh no. But Mr. Butler here told me about it and all the lad’s been through just to make your happy ending come true.”

 

“Wait, what do you mean ‘happy ending’?” asked Niall, raising his eyebrow.

 

Greg looked at Argo who was unmoving although he had a smile on his face, “Did I say too much?”

 

“I think you did, sir.”

 

……..

 

**_Wolverhampton (4:26 pm)_ **

 

Zac was putting on his shoes when a knock sounded on the door. Ms. Lillian’s muffled voice then followed, “Be in the lobby in five minutes, Zac.” Zac stood up, straightening his shirt before grabbing his bag, “I’m hurling towards the door as we speak…”

 

“Oh, then I’ll wait for you.” replied Ms. Lillian. Zac sighed while putting on his jacket, “Me and my big mouth…” he muttered and he went for the door, opened it, and found Ms. Lillian leaning on the wall while looking at her phone. She smiled, “That was quick…”

 

“I already packed yesterday.” said Zac before closing the door behind him, slumping his bag behind his back as he followed Ms. Lillian down the hall of the hotel. Naturally, he was the one who always engaged in conversations especially now that recent turn of events have become interesting but he wasn’t feeling very social right now. He wanted to be alone for a while and being with Ms. Lillian in the elevator was not the way to go. After that conversation over at lunch, Zac retreated to his room; his mind was still full of all the words Louis and Harry have been saying to him. Was he really clueless when it came to his own personal matters?

 

When the elevator door closed, he knew Ms. Lillian wouldn’t let the moment off without asking a question, “Zac about what my uncles said…” That wasn’t really a surprise to Zac so he just smiled half-heartedly and stared at his reflection on the finely polished metal. He saw that Ms. Lillian was staring at him worriedly, in fact, “You shouldn’t take all of that seriously. I mean, you’re still young and there’s a lot of…um…things you still have to experience for you to understand what they are saying to you.”

 

Zac looked down to the floor, “To be honest, Ms. Lillian, I think their right – I _am_ clueless. I lack that which I excel at helping others to realize… And when I do figure out this _thing_ it’s already too late and I don’t want that to happen.”

 

“Then, don’t let it happen…”

 

Zac looked at his teacher. Only two more floors to go before the elevator door opens, “Can I ask you something, Ms. Lillian?”

 

“Yeah, sure. What is it?”

 

Zac bit his lip, “Would it be too late if I wait until we get back to San Diego? What happens if I wait too long and it turns out she doesn’t like me anymore?”

 

Ms. Lillian smiled, raising her eyebrow at the same time, “So you _have_ figured it out… Don’t worry; I’m sure she won’t give up on you so easily and you should do the same.” She patted his back after which the elevator let out a soft _ding_ and the doors swung open revealing the lobby of the hotel.

 

……..

 

**_London (7:03 pm)_ **

 

Liam looked out the window of the plane. The lights of London were just so beautiful that he can’t help but stare even though his stomach was growling already. He’s been in a private jet before – a company trip to Sao Paolo with other supervisors like him. Liam silently chuckled when he remembered when he requested for a leave yesterday to his boss. Curious because it was the first time Liam asked for a leave, his boss, who was a woman, asked why of all times now. He told her everything and when he was finished her boss was already dabbing some tissues onto her eyes, agreeing to give Liam his leave.

 

Still ignoring his stomach, he took his small bag out of the compartment. Liam could hear Louis’ laugh at the table a few walks away and he just smiled. He can’t believe they all decided to come with him. Ed wasn’t surprised though, he had it all covered. Liam slipped his hand onto the small bag and finally touched what he was looking for – something square. His fingers ran through the fabric covering it and he scooped it up without taking it out the bag. It felt heavier all of the sudden but Liam knew why. With a sigh of relief, he let it go and placed the bag back into the compartment.

 

“What’s got you so serious all of the sudden?” Liam looked up and Perrie was there with a trolley with her. He can smell food although he didn’t know why his dearest cousin would be the one serving it to him. Liam shook his head, laughing, “What made you think that? I’m not being serious; I’m just… admiring the view from a private jet’s window.”

 

Perrie nodded, “It is beautiful from up here, isn’t it? Now…” She lifted the lid of the plate to reveal the roasted chicken. “…time for us to eat.”

 

“Us?” asked Liam. His cousin just nodded, putting two plates on the small table. He helped her with the chicken before she settled down to the seat adjacent to Liam. “Wouldn’t your husband mind that you’re eating with me rather than there with him?”

 

Perrie rolled her eyes, “Why would he have a problem with me wanting to have dinner with my cousin and spend some time with him before the big day? Honestly, Liam… and besides, their all noisy there anyways and I want a peaceful dinner while in a plane.”

 

And so Perrie did get her peaceful dinner. They were quiet for a while and then they talked about a lot of things starting from their childhood. They didn’t notice the time fly by so fast and the two of them finally got into the topic of Niall.

 

“Liam, it’s okay if you won’t answer my question but do you think Niall and Danielle would get along if she was still alive?” She slightly winced after finishing the question because she felt it was a stupid one. But Liam just stared at the window and sighed, “Maybe… Danielle did know about Niall. We had a lot of talks about him when she was still alive. Actually,” he chuckled, “She was the one who urged me to find Niall if I had the chance. I never told anybody else about it but she wanted me to be happy. She told me straight that she thinks the only reason why I was with her was because of Lillian – that if she somehow didn’t exist, I wouldn’t even notice her and care for her. I told her otherwise but she just smiled and told me that it was alright. That was the time I had that talk with Zayn about that wedding thing… She knew that Niall would make me happy. She was my wing woman in some sort of way.”

 

“Wait, she knew that Niall was alive?”

 

“In some weird way, yes. She was, at that time, under Ed’s employment so I guess there was this one time they probably discussed about it.”

 

“Then why didn’t she tell you?”

 

“She _was_ consistently telling me! That’s why she kept urging me to find Niall but I kept on telling her that I can’t look for someone who was already dead. But even then, she didn’t give up. And you know what I found out a few days ago?”

 

“What?” Perrie leaned closer to Liam.

 

“That on the night she died, she had with her a folder containing a bio data of a certain person working part time in San Diego in a nursing home… She found Niall and she was rushing back to the house to tell me but then, the accident happened.”

 

“Then why didn’t the police give it to us? They should have given it to you since it was Danielle’s!”

 

“Yes, but Ed took it. It was his property and Danielle only borrowed from Argo to tell me. Ed already apologized to me about not informing me about it because he felt it wasn’t the right time to tell me…”

 

“So he let you and Niall wait for twenty eight years before he made his move?! That’s just absurd!”

 

“But if he did make a move then, he might get into trouble. The family fortune wasn’t his yet and I agree that if he spent his money on getting me and Niall back together, Ed’s parents won’t approve of it and might even strip him off all his inheritance. I still give him credit for patiently waiting all these years – something I haven’t done very well to be honest. He was honest of the mistakes he made and I’m not sure I’ve been honest with mine.”

 

……..

 

**_September 11_ **

**_En route to San Diego (2:55 am)_ **

 

“Can’t sleep, mate?” asked Ed grinning over Liam.

 

Liam shook his head. “That’s obvious, isn’t it?”

 

Ed slumped down the chair in front of Liam, taking another gulp of the Coke in his hand. “Mind telling me what’s in that mind of yours right now? I’m good with talking… Niall knows that.”

 

“It’s about him…and Lillian.” Liam admitted, glancing to the dark outside of the plane.

 

“What about them? Having doubts that they’ll like each other?”

 

“No, just Niall. Lily’s fine with it, in fact, she’s so happy about it. It’s just that, I don’t know if Niall would accept that I made a mistake just right after he left.”

 

Ed’s tone went sour a bit, “She’s not a _mistake_ , Liam…” Liam looked at him with an apologetic face and Ed lightened up a bit, “If she was then, why am I having the feeling you wouldn’t be here if she didn’t even existed…”

 

“What do you mean by that?”

 

“That night you seem to be regretting until now, happened for a reason. She was born for a reason. Lillian is the reason why you’re here right now in this plane, having this discussion with me. If there wasn’t a Lillian, Zac would have a different art teacher. There wouldn’t be a field trip and he wouldn’t have met you all. You wouldn’t have found out that Niall was alive and believe me, you wouldn’t go with me if that boy didn’t call Niall on his phone that afternoon… Liam, if Lillian has already accepted Niall into her life, then I bet Niall will be too. He isn’t some jerk that throws away everything just because of one _mistake_ that you’ve made. He’ll accept her not just because she so pretty and loving to deny but also because Niall loves you very much.”

 

“But what if –”

 

“What?! After that long explanation I had to come up with, you’re still having doubts?! Alright, fine. I’ll bet ten million dollars you’re wrong and Niall will accept Lillian.”

 

“Ed, I don’t think that’s necessary…”

 

“I’m serious, Liam!”

 

“But that doesn’t mean you have to waste money…”

 

“I’ve wasted enough time already. I think a little money won’t hurt…”

 

Liam sighed, “Fine.”

 

……..

 

**_San Diego (4:25 am)_ **

 

Zac stared at the ceiling of his bedroom. With a smile, he got up from his bed and rummaged his bag for his phone. He jumped back in his bed and dialed for Niall’s number. He was in San Diego again… and he brought not just Liam but the entire entourage. It was a mission accomplished.

 

His phone beeped for a while before the familiar voice sounded from the other line, “Hello?”

 

“Niall! I’m back!” said Zac, grinning.

 

“You’re voice sounds a little hoarse, are you okay? When did you arrive?”

 

“I’m fine… that must’ve been the Slurpee I smuggled from the 7-Eleven before we got into the bus. We arrived just before four.”

 

“So I’ll get to see you this afternoon?”

 

“Yep, oh and can I request something?”

 

“Already? You seem to have missed me a lot…”

 

“Kinda… how did find the pre-birthday gift?”

 

“It made me cry, Zac. Thank you…”

 

“What is it exactly? Ed didn’t tell me.”

 

“My brother…”

 

“Wow… I didn’t expect that’s what it was.”

 

“I never expected anything! What’s that request you were asking about?”

 

“Oh I was just wondering if you could sing this certain song for your birthday on Monday…”


	12. Eleven || Take Me Home (To Our Lego House)

**_September 13_ **

****

**Third Person POV**

 

“Wake up, Liam! Jeez, we’ve been here for two days and you still haven’t gotten over that jetlag…” Harry continued to shake Liam until he grunted and tackled Harry to the floor. The curly haired one started laughing, “You’re still grumpy as ever in the morning!”

 

“I’ve been up all night!” hissed Liam, trying to get back on the bed but Harry grabbed hold of him. “Oh no, you don’t. You’re coming with us to the mall! Louis! I need back up, the Payne has awakened!” Louis emerged into the bedroom and grinned mischievously at Harry and Liam.

 

The curly one nodded and Louis jumped at Liam, “Surrender!” He started tickling Liam who was getting annoyed but couldn’t stop laughing. “Give up, Payne!” bellowed Louis, “It’s two against one and you can’t win against us!”

 

“Get off me! I said get off me!” With one strong push, Louis and Harry tumbled across the room, groaning as they rubbed their heads. Liam stood up, brushing off his shirt and walking to the door. “I don’t see why you have to do this and call me ‘Payne’ every time!”

 

Harry helped Louis get up, “This is exactly why we call you that… a ‘Payne’ in the ass.” Louis smirked and Harry started giggling, making Liam frustrated, “What’s that laughing all about?!”

 

“Nothing.” Harry grinned like the Cheshire Cat. “It’s just that our view of you completely changed when we read Zac’s diary… especially with the steamy part.” Liam suddenly blushed, his face deep scarlet, “W-what s-steamy part?”

 

They all got distracted by the knocking on the door. Lillian was standing there by the door; her hair was still a bit tangled and she was hugging a Stitch pillow. “Can you guys keep it down? My neighbors aren’t used to high-pitched yelling in the morning… and I though we made a promise to Zac not to tell Liam about that.”

 

“What were you not supposed to tell him?” Zayn’s head suddenly popped by Lillian’s side, looking all gossipy at all of them. Perrie suddenly appeared, tugging Zayn away from the door of the first guest bedroom. “C’mon, Zayn… me and Lily already had breakfast ready.”

 

“Why can’t you let me hang out with them for a while? Are you jealous?” said Zayn, raising his eyebrow.

 

Perrie laughed sarcastically, “And why would I be jealous?”

 

“Because! And besides, if you aren’t jealous then you would let me hang out with them…”

 

“Alright already…” hissed Perrie, “It’s like I’m talking to my son rather than my husband.”

 

“Aw, I love you too, honey…” said Zayn, leaning in and planting his lips onto Perrie’s.

 

Louis and Harry gave a slight throwing up sound.

 

“Please don’t do that in front of us, dude…” pleaded Louis.

 

Zayn broke off the kiss and glared at them, “I plead the same thing to the two of you when _you_ do it but you still don’t stop…”

 

“That’s enough, guys…” said Liam, standing up and heading for the door. “Maybe we should all have breakfast. C’mon… oh, and Louis, I wanna talk to you later…”

 

“About what?” Louis looked at him, confused. “What’s got you all psyched up to leave the bedroom all of the sudden?”

 

Liam smiled, “It’s probably the tickle… and I’ll tell you later – not here.”

 

As Liam went out the door, the five of them were left in silence. They glanced at each other, asking each other with bewildered looks what got into Liam to just leave the room he has been locking himself in for two days now. It was the first time Liam went to the kitchen to eat breakfast so after a few minutes, they heard a shout, “Where are the forks?!”

 

The five of them all went to the kitchen to find Liam sitting on one of the bar stools, already eating while running his other hand’s fingers over a small sapphire-colored box.

 

……..

 

Zac made his way down the stairs. It was already eight in the morning and nobody bothered to wake him up. As he made his flight down the steps, he could already smell his mother’s cooking – something he sorely missed for almost a week. He took the descent slowly even though his cast was already removed yesterday. When he got to the kitchen, his mother was cooking on the stove while his father was on his usual spot on the dining table, reading his morning paper while sipping coffee.

 

His father noticed him come in and smiled, “Morning, sport!”

 

He smiled at him as well. It was the first time his father greeted him like that in a long time. After that day when his sister told their parents about Zac’s schemes and that incident in school where he broke his leg and everyone called him gay, he thought his father would never be pleased with him again. He had become a pain in the neck to them after he started taking interest in Niall’s story… But now, that guilt seemed to fade away after seeing his dad smile at him.

 

His mother, finished of the omelet she was cooking, placed it onto a plate, and served it on the table along with the newly baked bread. “I hope you’re hungry…” Zac went over to her and embraced her. His mother seemed surprised at her son’s behavior. When Zac finally let go, they both sat down, “What’s that all about, dear?”

 

Zac shook his head, “Nothing… I just missed you guys, that’s all.”

 

“You’ve already been back for two days and you still miss us? How was the fieldtrip? Was it fun? You still haven’t told us much.” his mother smiled.

 

Zac nodded, grabbing one of the loaves of bread, “Uh-uh… I even got to meet the sponsor of the trip.”

 

“Really now?” replied his mother, surprised while putting butter onto her toast, “What was the sponsor like?”

 

“He’s really funny… and very generous as well.” Zac took a bite of the bread.

 

They heard the front door open and Zac’s sister, Grace, emerged into the kitchen, sitting beside Zac on the table. “How was the walk with Mr. Learman’s dogs?” asked their father to Grace.

 

At first, she just nodded, putting some omelet onto her own plate but then, after taking a bite, she finally answered, “Bryan and Holly were well behaved but then this kid on a skateboard tried to piss them off… I looked at him and I’m guessing after that, he got what I was trying to tell him.”

 

“Yes… you do frighten all.” Zac silently commented.

 

His sister laughed, “Looks like someone woke up on the right side of the bed. Feel like going to the nursing home this afternoon?”

 

“Of course!” Zac’s face lighted up.

 

Why wouldn’t he go? He wasn’t gonna miss this out – that wasn’t an option.

 

“Just checking…” she smirked at him, “Wouldn’t want to miss Niall’s birthday, do you?”

 

“Oh, so today’s his birthday…” said their father, taking another sip of his coffee. After putting the cup down, he noticed that Zac was looking at him. “Calm down, Zachary. I’m not saying that in a bad way…”

 

His mother bobbed the teabag up and down in her cup, “We had a chance to talk to him when you were at the hospital and he seemed to be a very good man. It’s just that being your parents, Zac, it’s a bit _different_ to see our son being friends with someone much older rather than kids your age – not that were saying it’s a bad thing though…” She paused, adding some creamer to her tea, “But are you sure you can handle how older people think?”

 

Zac chuckled, remembering that time at the hospital, “I’m pretty sure I’m more mature than him… in some way or another so don’t worry, I can handle it.”

 

The rest of the morning went on peacefully.

 

Zac helped his sister do the dishes and after that, he was forcefully admitted into a full movie viewing of The Notebook with his sister and his mother on their couch. Thankfully, his father called him into the garage to help him fix the car. Breathing a sigh of relief, he followed his dad to the garage where two cars were parked – one was his dad’s and the other his sister’s.

 

Zac was staring at the lawn and kept commenting on his mind of how sunny it is even if it’s September. Before long, his long stare was broken when his dad called out to him, sticking out his left hand from under the car.

 

“Mind handing me the socket wrench, Zac?” said his dad.

 

He fished mindlessly out of the toolbox whatever he thought was a wrench. He heard his father sigh, sticking out his hand from under the car again, “This is a monkey wrench, Zac… You’ve gotten a bit rusty on remembering the tools, son.”

 

“Sorry.” That was all he could say and grabbed the right one this time.

 

He wasn’t getting rusty… he was distracted. He felt so nervous about what will happen that afternoon. Even though he wasn’t the one who will be surprised, the mastermind can still be worried, right? But there was a positive side to this, thought Zac to himself. Niall was so happy to see Greg again; maybe it will be the same with Liam.

 

Zac knew – all of them knew – that Niall missed Liam but what if he wasn’t ready to face him yet? In that sole and wonderful moment that they finally meet again, the worst thing that could happen was if Niall would hesitate and leave Liam hanging there, stabbed painfully with the soul-crushing rejection. It was exasperating for Zac not to know what Liam was planning to do. The only thing they told him to do was ask Niall if he could sing that certain song…

 

Then, he remembered that he hasn’t greeted Niall yet. He dug out his phone from his pocket and started typing. A short happy birthday message – that was it. After pressing send, his phone vibrated and he checked whom the message was from. It was Liam…

 

**_Can you stop by Lily’s house before going to the nursing home? I wanna ask you something._ **

 

……..

 

“Where do you want these potatoes, Niall?” asked one of the sous chefs.

 

“There,” Niall pointed to the space by the sink, “Oh, can you wash them and dice them to cubes as well? I gotta watch this sauce or else it might burn…” He smiled and the sous chef nodded.

 

Suddenly, his phone vibrated. He fished it out of his pocket using his free hand while the other continued stirring the sauce on the pan. His gaze jumped back and forth from the pan and his phone. His co-workers at the kitchen were used to him laughing for no reason at all but he held his laughter, composing himself as he read the message from Zac. Niall wasn’t laughing because it was funny but because he felt he smiled enough for the whole morning and also because Zac was the last person in his phonebook that greeted him.

 

Niall took a clean spoon a few minutes later to taste the sauce in the pan again. He nodded as the slightly sour yet sweet blend of tomatoes touched his tongue and pleased his palate. “I think this is done…” he hummed, turning off the stove and going over the other stations, checking if there were any problems.

 

One of the cooks in the kitchen noticed his lingering, “I still don’t get it why you have to work today, sir. I mean, it’s your birthday!”

 

“I thought I already made myself clear on that issue years ago… I’m not gonna use my birthday as a reason for me not to work even though I _am_ capable.” Niall glanced at the chopping board, “Now, a little thinner on the slices of those carrots, Trevor…”

 

The chef nodded, going back to his work and doing what Niall told him.

 

The kitchen was in silence after that. Only the sound of chopping, the clang of pots and pans, and the sound of water gushing out of the faucet were heard. Without warning, the kitchen door burst open and a ginger haired man went in with a grin on his face.

 

“Ed?” asked Niall even though it was obvious.

 

“Happy Birthday, Niall!” shouted Ed before hugging the still-a-bit-shocked Niall.

 

……..

 

As they drove to Ms. Lillian’s house, Grace glanced at her brother who was staring blankly at the window. “You okay?” Zac just nodded and went still again. They stopped because there were pedestrians crossing and Grace tapped her fingers on the wheel. “I’m interested in meeting this Liam you were looking for… what’s he like?”

 

But Zac didn’t answer.

 

Grace sighed, “Zac, you seem deep in thought. What’s this about?”

 

Zac removed his gaze from the window and looked at his sister, “The possibility of a worst case scenario… I can’t help but doubt if this is really going to work.” He frowned, “I mean Liam wouldn’t text me to come to Ms. Lillian’s house if there wasn’t a problem, right?”

 

Grace ruffled Zac’s hair, “You think too much – it’s like you’re not human.” She grinned before starting to drive again. “And don’t dwell too much on the negative… I think he just wants to show you something.”

 

“What on earth will he show me?” Zac crossed his arms.

 

“I don’t know…” Grace moved one of her fingers differently. A move not missed by Zac and quickly understood. The finger had the gift their father gave her sister on her eighteenth birthday – a small ring with a diamond on it.

 

“You’re not saying –”

 

“I’m not saying anything!” said Grace, grinning while keeping her eyes on the road.

 

Zac looked at her with suspicion the rest of the way until they reached Ms. Lillian’s house. After a knock on the door, Zac looked back to the car where his sister was. Grace saw him and waved, smiling at him and mouthing “go on”.

 

Another knock on the door and there was a loud shouting, “Perrie would you get that? I’m still in my boxers!” It sounded like Zayn and then another voice yelled back, “Oh for God’s sake… you take a shower like a woman!”

 

The door opened and Perrie smiled when she saw that it was Zac. “Brace yourself. Everyone’s feeling a bit fidgety right now… even me.”

 

Zac walked in and looked with an asking face to her, “How come?”

 

Perrie was going to say something when there was someone who shouted, “I’m not wearing something as fit as that!”

 

“Wear the damn thing already!”

 

Perrie rolled her eyes.

 

Louis came out of one of the rooms with Harry’s voice following, “You’re just making me wear it because it makes me look sexy!”

 

Louis shook his head and snorted, “Yeah, yeah… just wear it!”

 

“That’s ‘how come’…” said Perrie.

 

Louis turned and saw Zac, “Oh, good. You’re here…” He went and pulled Zac, “C’mon, Liam’s on the other room.”

 

“What’s this about anyway?” asked Zac, trying to keep up with Louis’ fast walking.

 

Louis shrugged, “Didn’t tell me yet… but I have a feeling what it is. I’m not sure how right I am but based from all I’ve been hearing these few days, it’s about the –”

 

“It’s about the engagement ring, right?” Zac suddenly blurted out.

 

Surprised by what Zac said, Louis let go of his hold on Zac. He blinked and stared at him before pulling his arm again and leading him into the room where Liam was. There was this clean yet a bit harsh on the nose smell when they entered the room and Louis sighed.

 

Everything was clean and neatly arranged. Liam had been cleaning.

 

“Why does everything look so clean?” asked Zac.

 

Louis just laughed, “It’s Liam’s way of relieving stress. He cleans everything because he’s a neat freak but that’s one of the things we love about him. But the real question here is how did you know about the ring? Did Erika tell you about it?”

 

Zac shook his head, “No. To be honest, I don’t know why but I think my sister has a lot more grasp on what’s happening than me… We were talking in the car and she made this gesture and showed off her ring. I haven’t told her anything but she has read my diary once so I guess –”

 

Liam suddenly appeared wearing a black long sleeved shirt that had silver edgings and a pair of jeans along with grey slip ons. He looked surprised to see Zac and Louis suddenly groaned, “Please tell me you didn’t clean this room wearing that, Liam… That’s not cheap!”

 

Liam bit his lip and looked at Louis with puppy eyes. The other one just shook his head and sighed as he has so many times already that day. “Liam, please stop worrying so much… Everything will be fine.”

 

“I tried telling myself that but it just doesn’t seem to work, Louis.” Liam sat on the edge of the bed.

 

Louis crossed his arms, “So what’s this about?”

 

Liam grabbed the paper bag from under the bed and dug out the small sapphire colored box Louis and the others in the house saw earlier in the morning. “I think you already know what this is…”

 

Louis and Zac nodded. Liam opened the box to reveal a gold ring cushioned on the ring box. There was a slight gasp that escaped Louis’ mouth and Zac can’t help but stare. It was actually happening. He finally saw the ring. Liam handed it to Louis who gazed at it with his eyes almost teary.

 

They exchanged glances and Liam nodded. Louis picked up the ring and looked at it up close. It gave off a metallic luster and suddenly, Louis saw the markings on the ring but couldn’t figure out what it was. It sounded like gibberish but then, he remembered something.

 

“The words written… Is this –”

 

“Irish, yeah.” Liam replied even before Louis could finish his question.

 

Louis found it difficult to read because it was a bit faint, “Is b-brea l-li –”

 

“ _Is breá liom tú go deo_. It means ‘I love you forever’.” Liam said, blushing a bit.

 

“Aww…” Louis placed the ring back into the box and returned it to Liam, “The sweetest thing ever. More sweeter than when Harry proposed to me…”

 

Liam raised his eyebrow, “I doubt that…”

 

Louis rolled his eyes, “Okay, it wasn’t sweet – it was hot. He proposed just before we had –” He suddenly remembered Zac who was looking at them silently as they conversed and exchanged notes on proposals. Clearly something Zac had no idea (yet) of doing. “Sorry, I forgot you were here.”

 

Zac grinned at them, “That’s okay. I’ve heard much more than that from Niall.” Exactly after saying so, he looked at Liam. “Have they told you? I know they often blurt out things they aren’t supposed to be saying without warning.”

 

“Yeah…kinda…uh…” Liam shook his head, shaking off the mental pictures of that night that suddenly appeared in his head, and cleared his throat, “Anyway, I just wanna ask the two of you about your thoughts about the situation at hand. Will he say yes? What if he says no? What happens then?”

 

Louis frowned, “I’m not good at this, Liam. You should’ve asked Zayn.”

 

“I have and he just keeps laughing at me every time I get totally nervous!” said Liam with annoyance in his voice.

 

“And that’s because – and I cannot imagine how many times the people in this household have told you already this same reason ever since we arrived – you think too much.” Louis glanced at Zac, “Anything to say, Zac? Thoughts perhaps?”

 

Zac played with his fingers before arriving at what he wants to say. “Um, thoughts? I think I’ll borrow yours, Louis, which is: You have to put some faith on these things. It’s the same thing he said to Niall when you talked with his father and how did that turn out?”

 

“Fine, I guess…” mumbled Liam.

 

“Then you shouldn’t worry about this anymore, Liam.” Zac smiled and shoved his hands into his pocket. He suddenly felt some sort of paper and pulled it out. It was the sketch paper and the picture. What a coincidence, thought Zac. What a perfect and amazing coincidence.

 

“Here,” he handed Liam the items in his hand, “Take a look at this…”

 

“What’s this?” asked Liam, unfolding the paper to reveal the drawing and the picture he crumpled during that dinner with Zac back in London.

 

“Niall kept that with him to remember you…” Zac couldn’t figure out where the words were coming from, “He always looks at it even during work. He hides himself when he does look at it but I had the chance to see him while he was. Sometimes he cried, sometimes he smiled, and sometimes he would just hold it close to his heart and whisper things I couldn’t hear.

 

“He keeps that drawing and that photo with him because he still loves you, Liam. And if that isn’t the reason why he would tell me about you, and Louis, and Harry, and Zayn, and Perrie on the first day that we met and if it isn’t also the reason why he still keeps those memories with him then, I don’t know what is the reason.

 

“I can’t tell you what he will feel when Niall finally sees you, Liam, but I’d like to see the positive. I’d like to think he’ll be completely happy to see that the missing piece of his life is there standing in front of him again. Not just a figment of his imagination…”

 

The alarm by the bed went off and the three of them were startled. Liam stood up and turned it off and handed the drawing and the picture back to Zac. “Time for us to get going…” said Liam.

 

The three of them went out of the room. As soon as everyone was ready, they all headed for the front door and went out. Grace’s car was still parked in front of the house but she wasn’t in it anymore. Instead, she was talking to Argo who had a limousine parked behind Grace’s car.

 

“I guess we won’t be needing my car then…” said Ms. Lillian, tucking her keys back into her pocket.

 

As they reached the sidewalk, a voice familiar to both Zac and Ms. Lillian called out, “Well, if it isn’t the faggot… Some entourage you have there, Zachary. Going to the circus?” Drake Summers stood there with a bunch of his friends sneering at Zac.

 

“Shut up!” said Harry all of the sudden. He stood in front of Zac, hiding him from Drake’s gaze.

 

“You have bodyguards now, Michaels? You better have or else –” Drake stared devilishly at Zac, smashing his fist onto his other hand before Ms. Lillian cut him off.

 

“Mr. Summers, that’s enough…” said Ms. Lillian, trying to control her anger.

 

Drake snorted, “You’re lucky you have a teacher with you, Michaels.” He motioned to his companions to follow him and left. “See you at school then.”

 

Harry backed away from Zac which gave Drake the opportunity to bump into him, causing Zac to stumble a bit but was caught by Zayn.

 

Zac stood there silently and all the adults around him watched what would happen next. He didn’t know if it was fear for himself or if it was pity to himself. Whatever it was, he could really use Erika right now…

 

“Zac, are you okay?” asked Liam, putting his hand on the boy’s shoulder.

 

After sucking in some air, Zac nodded, “Yeah, let’s go… we’re going to be late.”

 

……..

 

It was dark. It was really dark but he kept walking.

 

It’s a good thing Ed was by his side though because if he wasn’t, Niall would have tripped over the wires and bumped onto the chairs and tables spread across the back lawn of the nursing home.

 

“Ed, where are we going?” asked Niall, slightly laughing.

 

“Patience, young one…” replied Ed seriously, mimicking a famous character again.

 

“I’m not young… and I’m getting older by the passing second so tell me what’s up with the blindfold!” The two of them kept walking and Niall asked again, “Are we walking on grass?”

 

“Yes and hold on, we’re here…” replied Ed.

 

Niall could hear voices all around him and he couldn’t figure out why and then light suddenly flooded into his eyes making him squint to let his eyesight adjust to the sudden change in the amount of light present in his vision.

 

As soon as he could see clearly, he saw the elderly sitting together by tables as well as the other workers. Some of them were smiling at him while others had a bit of excitement on their faces which told Niall there was something everybody knew that Niall wasn’t supposed to yet.

 

He searched the crowd for any sign of Zac but all he saw was Erika, looking pretty in her blue dress. He suddenly frowned which Ed quickly noticed and reassured his friend of what he was looking for.

 

“Don’t worry, Zac will be here.” Ed smiled at him, “There’s just been some delays with the present.”

 

“Okay…” replied Niall before taking another glance at the crowd, hoping to see Zac somewhere on one of the tables or perhaps beside Erika.

 

“Take a seat there, Niall…” Ed motioned him to the chair beside Niall’s boss who embraced him and greeted him happy birthday for what was supposedly the tenth time that day.

 

Ed took the mic from the platform and tapped it. “Hello? Oh, there we go!” He laughed slightly and all the people laughed as well. Niall shook his head, unbelieving that the people found that funny. But still, he laughed as well.

 

“Right then! For maybe the millionth time today, Happy Birthday, Nialler! To start off this party we threw for you, a little song from me…” Ed grabbed the guitar and went on stage. There were some claps, especially from the workers, knowing who Ed really was – a celebrity and well-renowned businessman.

 

After Ed finished his song, some of the workers greeted him (again) and to Niall’s surprise, they prepared a video for him of how they love him so much. Niall almost felt like crying, although he was suppressing it, and then they all sang a song for him.

 

By the end of the song, a three-layered cake came out of the kitchen, carried by Niall’s two sous chefs. They all sang him happy birthday and after blowing the candle on top, the crowd cheered. Niall looked to them and noticed that Zac was already there – clapping like all the others beside his sister. It made him wonder what the present was…

 

 Niall looked at Ed and the ginger handed to him the guitar. It suddenly felt heavier but of course it was – this was the first time he would ever sing in front of so many people. He always sung songs with his own guitar but only alone…only with Louis and Harry…only with Liam. The thought of the dirty blond haired boy made the hair on his arms stand up.

 

It was like he was here. It was like Liam was watching him… He inhibited the tears from falling and positioned himself in front of the microphone. He tapped it and the sound echoed in the speakers. His hands suddenly felt sweaty after he slung the guitar over his shoulders which he wiped off by running his hands over his pants.

Niall cleared his throat which came louder than expected on the microphone and everyone quieted down. Hushed voices came from the audience; their eyes glued on him, expecting an angelic voice to come out of his lips.

 

He looked to the end of the crowd again to find Zac and Erika giving him a thumb’s up and grinning at him. Zac had one of his hands on Erika’s waist and they were standing close to each other. Niall smiled and spoke to the microphone, “What I’m gonna sing to you today is a song requested by my little friend, Zachary Michaels. I don’t know why he knew about this song and I’m guessing Ed has something to do with it… right, Ed?”

 

The ginger haired man nodded and clapped his hands. The crowed followed and Niall took a deep breath, “Here we go…” he muttered before starting to strum the guitar.

 

_I'm gonna pick up the pieces and build a Lego house_

_If things go wrong, we can knock it down_

_My three words have two meanings_

_There's one thing on my mind - it's all for you_

_And it's dark in a cold December_

_But I've got you to keep me warm_

_If you're broken I will mend you_

_And I'll keep you sheltered from the storm that's raging on_

_I'm out of touch, I'm out of love_

_I'll pick you up when you're getting down_

_And out of all these things I've done_

_I think I love you better now_

_I'm out of sight, I'm out of mind_

_I'll give it all for you in time_

_And out of all these things I've done_

_I think I love you better now_

 

Niall was about to sing the next verse when he heard the familiar voice sing it. He stopped playing the guitar when he saw the curly hair of the one that was singing. Luckily, Ed had a spare guitar and played where Niall left off. Harry smiled at Niall’s expression.

 

_I'm gonna paint you by numbers and color you in_

_If things go right, we can frame it and put you on a wall_

_And it's so hard to say it but I've been here before_

_Now I'll surrender up my heart and swap it for yours_

 

When Niall thought the surprise couldn’t get better, he heard another voice from the crowd. A sweet one with voice cracks and Louis appeared and joined Harry as he walked with Louis’ hand in his.

 

_I'm out of touch, I'm out of love_

_I'll pick you up when you're getting down_

_And out of all these things I've done_

_I think I love you better now_

_I'm out of sight, I'm out of mind_

_I'll give it all for you in time_

_And out of all these things I've done_

_I think I love you better now_

 

Niall was about to scream “Oh my God” when a third voice joined in. His breathing became harder when Zayn’s hazel eyes twinkled upon seeing Niall standing on the stage. He gave Niall a wink along with a warm smile as he sang.

 

_Don't hold me down_

_All the braces went breaking_

_And it was more than I could take_

_And it was dark those cold Decembers_

_But you're here now to keep me warm_

_If you're still broken I will mend you_

_Cause I didn't when the storms kept raging on_

 

When all three sang the chorus, Niall couldn’t help but notice another voice but when he looked around, his eyes already watery, no one was standing up. It was just Louis, Harry and Zayn that were singing. He finally saw Perrie at the back with Lillian and it seemed odd to Niall how the two appeared very close to each other.

 

_I'm out of touch, I'm out of love_

_I'll pick you up when you're getting down_

_And out of all these things I've done_

_I think I love you better now_

_I'm out of sight, I'm out of mind_

_I'll give it all for you in time_

_And out of all these things I've done_

_I think I love you better now_

 

Just when Niall was about to give up hope of seeing that person he was waiting for, the other three that were beside him already stopped singing and all he could hear was Ed playing the guitar. He wondered whether the three would sing again or they would let him finish the song. Instead, a different voice ended the song and the voice felt so near to him.

 

_I'm out of touch, I'm out of love_

_I'll pick you up when you're getting down_

_And out of all these years that passed_

_I still love you even now_

 

Niall noticed the change in lyrics and he turned around to find himself speechless at the person that was looking at him. Liam biting his lower lip along with his puppy dog eyes made Niall feel like he was melting. He was just like Niall remembered – small lines under the eyes aside. Niall felt his heart was racing as Liam took a step closer; his hands were behind his back and seemed to be fumbling something.

“Hi…” said Liam, mumbling like a little child who saw his crush.

 

Before the two of them could say anything more, Niall flung himself towards Liam who gladly pressed his lips against the other’s. Some of the workers were just jumping, happy for Niall. When the two broke the kiss, Perrie and Lillian were both on stage as well.

 

Niall wiped off the tear falling from his eye and stared confusedly at Lillian, “Are you related?” he asked, looking at all of them. But all of them looked away except for Liam who still had his hands behind his back. Liam hesitated for a moment but started to speak, “Niall, she’s my… she’s m-my… daughter.”

 

The microphone dropped to the floor of the stage.

 

 _He has a daughter… Liam already has a daughter_. The thought continuously battered Niall’s head. The seconds slowed down to Niall upon hearing that sentence. He felt stupid right now because he kissed him but then, why did Liam let him? Niall took a step back, “Where’s your wife?”

 

After hearing that question, Louis closed his eyes and tightened his grip on Harry’s hand. It was just like everything Liam had feared. Everything was perfect… until the hard truth drops onto you. Liam glanced at Lillian who looked pained after Niall’s reaction. She felt like he didn’t accept her… she was the thing that ruined everything.

 

“Niall, I don’t have a wife… we were never got married.” Liam said bitterly.

 

“But you _were_ intending to marry her, right?” asked Niall, feeling betrayed.

 

“She’s dead, Niall! And besides, she didn’t want to marry me anyway – she was my wing woman.”

 

“ _Wing woman_? That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard…”

 

“But it’s true…” breathed Liam, already running out of reasons.

 

Niall shook his head and started to turn around.

 

“Niall, wait! Can’t you just listen to me… please?” said Liam desperately.

 

“I’m sorry… I-I’m just having trouble believing you right now…”

 

Zayn’s hand curled up into a ball but Perrie held it in hers. She looked into his eyes and shook her head, mouthing “don’t”. Perrie knew it would only make it worse but Zayn felt angry at Niall for being an ass right now. He took care of Liam for Niall for so many years and all he gets in return is Niall rejecting Liam for one mistake? He wanted to punch him – maybe that’ll knock some sense into him.

 

At the back of the lawn, Zac looked at Erika and found that she was frowning as well. Their eyes met and Erika squeezed Zac’s left hand which she was holding. Zac slightly smiled and nodded, “It’ll be okay…” he whispered, assuring both himself and Erika.

 

Niall turned around but Liam grabbed his hand. Both of them felt the electricity run down their bodies as they held each other’s hands and it only made what Niall was feeling worse. Liam’s eyes pleaded him to stay and listen to him and just seeing those eyes made Niall feel that it was true…

 

“Niall James Horan... It's been so long since I last saw those blue eyes. I'm sorry I didn't bid goodbye to you that night... I'm sorry I didn't look for you; I'm sorry it took me this long to find you again. I've made mistakes while you were gone. I almost gave up hope but please believe me when I say that she was the reason I didn't.”

 

Liam bit his lip, “She and I both made a mistake, yes, I know that but it's something I wouldn't regret because if it didn't happen, I wouldn't be standing here - none of us would be. I would do anything to prove to you that I love you. Just so you wouldn’t tell me that it's too late to ask you to grow old with me... Just so it's not too late for me to ask you to marry me...”

 

Niall found the sincerity in every word Liam uttered and in his eyes as well. The anger inside him was subsiding and then, it was gone. Tears slowly fell down his cheeks, not caring how many people were staring at them right now.

 

“Liam I-I just want to say that there wasn't a night I didn't think about you but then, I felt the embers slowly fade from me.” Niall sniffed and slightly laughed, “I guess fate did had a plan b – a spark that brought back the embers when I was starting to drown from the downpour and rescued me from it. And that was the time I realized that I don't want you...”

 

Completely misunderstood, Liam’s expression turned into sad. But then, Niall wasn’t finished yet. “I don't _want_ you, Liam, because I needed you. I'm sorry too if didn't believe what you were telling me and if I haven't told you how much I love you, I do, and yes, I will marry you.”

 

Liam knelt down on one knee and opened the sapphire box to reveal the golden ring inside. He slipped it into Niall’s finger and stood up. Their faces inches apart from each other, Liam leaned in for a kiss which, shortly afterwards, earned claps from the audience and shrieks of joy from the staff as well as Louis and Harry.

 

Zac smiled. It was a bit dramatic and heart-stopping but in the end, everything went okay. But, there was one last thing… He held up Erika’s hand which grabbed her attention from the commotion on the stage.

 

“Erika… I-I…”

 

Erika raised her eyebrow, “If you’re going to say that you like me, forget it. It’s too late, Zac.”

 

Zac smile turned upside down, “W-why?”

 

“Because I don’t like you anymore… I love you.”

 

She placed her hands on his cheeks and pulled him in for a kiss. After was seemed like forever, they broke off and it left Zac in some kind of daze. But he was still able to hear Niall shouting from the stage, “Oi! Who gave the two of you permission to snog at my birthday party?”

 

The sun was almost setting and the sky was gold. Most of the guests went home and the elders were inside the nursing home eating cake while watching primetime drama series. Liam and Niall leaned on the car while admiring the sunset by the shore. The misty and salty sea breeze dampened their faces as they held each other’s hands.

 

“Isn’t this a bit cheesy?” asked Niall.

 

“What?” Liam looked at him.

 

“Us holding hands while watching the sunset… don’t couples in movies do that all the time?”

 

“Probably… you don’t like this at all?”

 

“No, no. I do like this but I want us to do something more than this…” Niall bit his lip, glancing at the ring on his finger.

 

“Like what?” asked Liam, nuzzling Niall’s hair.

 

Niall leveled his eyes with Liam’s and leaned in for a kiss. His tongue poked Liam’s lips asking for entrance and the older gladly accepted. Liam’s hands roamed down to Niall’s waist while the younger hung his arms around Liam’s neck. Even after many years, the kiss felt like all the ones that happened when they were younger. Liam pulled Niall closer, their breathing getting heavier, and after a groan from Niall, they broke off, trying to catch their breaths.

 

Liam brushed his nose over Niall’s and the younger rested his head on the dirty blond haired one’s shoulder, murmuring, “Take me home, Liam…” The older one smiled and scooped up Niall bride style – to the younger’s surprise – and whispered, “With pleasure.”

 

Liam carried Niall into the car and slipped him into the passenger seat. Afterwards, he started the car and they drove back to Niall’s apartment. The last rays of sunshine passed through the windows as they drove and Liam took a quick glance of Niall who had fallen asleep, the sun’s fading rays casting gold on his face, and smiled. After so long, they were on a car ride back home again and it seemed only yesterday when he met that boy on the playground on that same hour.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song used: "Lego House" by Ed Sheeran :)


	13. Epilogue

**_8 Years After_ **

 

There was ruckus in the kitchen: of plates, spoons, pots, and pans being quickly cleaned.

 

Niall totally forgot the dishes and it was already afternoon. As he stood there over the sink, he left the radio on hoping for a song that will help him with the battle against the dishes. The strums of the guitar made Niall tap his feet as he scrubbed the dishes and the cool breeze went through the room from the outside. It was already December and Niall’s already set up the whole house yesterday.

 

The tree stood gorgeously in the living room with all the décor hanging on its branches; the wreath was placed this morning on the door before Niall went to work; and the entire house was decorated just after lunch. But he still forgot the dishes…

 

_Take me back to the house and the backyard trees_

_Said you’d beat me up, you were bigger than me_

_You never did, you never did_

_Take me back when our world was one lot wide_

_I dared you to kiss me and ran when you tried_

_Just two kids – you and I_

_Oh my, my, my_

 

Niall glanced at the clock and it was already three. Liam would be arriving within the hour from London and he totally forgot about the dishes… And then there’s James.

 

Liam, in some amazing way Niall didn’t know, found a way to work in London and go home to Niall in the weekend. Niall tried to force the little secret out of Zayn, Lillian, and even Liam himself but no one would tell him. During the weekdays, Niall doesn’t get lonely either because James always visited him.

 

James was Lillian’s five-year old son. Two years after Liam and Niall got married, Lillian finally admitted to Liam and Zayn that she was dating Dean. Zayn was happy, Liam felt differently. Niall thought he would never see Dean again but he should have known better.

 

When Dean proposed to Lillian was the first time ever since Niall left for San Diego that he saw Liam get depressed like that. On the night of their first wedding anniversary, as they danced on the rooftop of the hotel in London, Niall looked at Liam in the eyes and asked why he wasn’t pleased with Lillian wanting to marry Dean. Liam, sensitive to the topic Niall just opened, chose to stay silent; his lips stayed shut which displeased Niall.

 

“Liam…” said Niall softly, “I know you’ve been avoiding your daughter ever since she and Dean went and told us the good new–”

 

“–There’s nothing _good_ about the whole bloody thing–” muttered Liam.

 

“Liam, I’m talking to you – let me finish!” the blond one snapped. Niall let go of his hold on Liam’s hand and swatted off the hand which was on his waist. Liam stepped back, his eyes averting Niall’s gaze. The moon hovered above them, its light casted upon the two of them, their skin pearly white from the moonlight; the wind’s chill also gave the night and their sudden silence a different meaning.

 

A bit startled by Niall’s change of tone, Liam nodded. They fought sometimes but it’s just usually over some petty things like what food to eat, where new furniture should be put, or just Niall’s habit of leaving his cookbooks, and papers and sticky notes all around the house which irritated the neat-freak Liam; but never has Liam seen Niall snap at him like that. The shadows, made by the moonlight, around Niall’s eyes gave his stare a more striking look. The Irish one felt Liam was being ridiculous: his dislike was more than just a shallow disapproval – Niall was sure of it. There had to be a deeper reason to why Liam didn’t want Lillian to marry Dean.

 

Yes, Dean can be an annoyance sometimes but he was one of the reasons why Niall didn’t forget about Liam in the first place. Niall was eternally grateful to him and he won’t stop pestering his husband to tell him the reason why. Niall won’t let this night finish without making Liam spill it all out, even if it means ruining their anniversary.

 

Niall stroked Liam’s cheek, “I’m sorry, Liam, but you have to stop ruining Lillian’s life like this.” Liam still was still avoiding him and Niall sighed, “She has her own life, Liam. I don’t see anything wrong with Dean and I want to know why you’ve been acting like this over them.”

 

“It’s nothing, Niall,” croaked Liam, “C-can we just have our dinner?”

 

“We already ate, Liam.”

 

“Oh… Then let’s just dan–”

 

“Liam,” said Niall pleadingly, “Stop changing the subject. Just tell me…please.”

 

“I can’t,” Liam’s eyes finally met Niall’s, “I just can’t. I-It’s just…you’ll get angry with me.”

 

“I won’t be _just_ angry with you if you don’t tell me.”

 

Liam gave a whimpering sound. He knew what Niall meant.

 

“I don’t wanna let go of her, okay!?” said Liam speedily.

 

“What?” said Niall, “Liam, she’s not your property. That’s being selfish.”

 

“I know that but I don’t want her to disappear from my life like her mother… like you did for many years, Niall. I don’t want her out of my sight and–”

 

“You think that way because you feel that she loves someone else more than her father; but that’s how it is, Liam. She’s going to love someone sooner or later – or in this case, right now. Lillian isn’t a fragile porcelain doll, Liam; she can take care of herself. Can’t you just be happy for her? That’s all she wants from you right now: your approval.”

 

Liam smiled, “Okay…”

 

“Good.” Niall said before pressing his lips onto Liam’s; the older one’s hand roamed down Niall’s body.

 

“Why can’t you spoil me like you do with Lillian?”

 

“Because you always get cocky when I do that to you.”

 

The doorbell rang and Niall didn’t notice that he was almost done with the dishes. “I’m coming!” he shouted, washing off the soap from his hands and wiping it with some paper towels. As he walked down towards the front door, he heard the giggle of a familiar little boy.

 

When he opened the door, James came bursting in, hugging Niall’s leg adoringly. “Grandpa Ni! Let’s go to the park!” shrieked James, running off to the living room and settling himself of the couch. The other person on the porch laughed, “You don’t look like a grandpa, Nialler. On the other hand, that’s what you get for spoiling that little tyke…”

 

“Haha. Very funny, Li.” Niall retorted, “It just goes to show that I’m better with kids than you are.”

 

“That was a compliment, leprechaun…” Liam smirked.

 

“Then, thank you.” Niall grabbed Liam’s tie causing the older to grunt, “But any more cheesy jokes and name-callings, mister, and that thing I told you I’m gonna do to you the minute you got home: you can do to _yourself_.”

 

He fully emphasized the last word of the sentence to Liam which made the older one frown, displeased on the outcome of calling his husband a name he usually calls him; but Niall just laughed.

 

“Got’cha…” Niall grinned, “That was a joke, Liam.”

 

“Not a very funny one,” mumbled Liam.

 

“But one of my best,” defended Niall, “Now, change your clothes. We’re taking James to the park, remember?” Liam nodded and headed upstairs to their bedroom. Niall sat down the couch beside James who was busily watching _Adventure Time_ on the newly turned on television.

 

The little boy was very picky on what he wanted to watch and wasn’t easily amazed by shows for children his age. Instead, he had taken the liking to cartoons and movies with more action in them – more kick-butt action, swords, explosions, and a variety of magical powers. James would often pretend he was those characters which resulted to broken vases and a lot of hours wasted during weekends shouting around the house; pretending to have his own adventures.

 

One time, Niall visited after his work at the nursing home and found James playing with Dean. Lillian was laughing in the sidelines while videotaping the whole thing: James was wearing a toy helmet and a cape around his neck. He held on to his wooden sword as he ran around the living room being chased by his father who was in a blue robe, imitating a villain on TV. The fun ended when James tripped on his cape made of bed sheets and all their stomachs growled in hunger. They didn’t notice that an hour had already passed and they decided to eat; still discussing how idiotic, yet fun at the same time, that dress-up was.

 

Niall watched James grin which grew as the show progressed. He didn’t notice that he was comparing the little boy to Liam in his mind; how they both had the same hair and eye color, and the same complexion. James’ curly sideburns most probably came from his mother, Lillian.

 

It felt gratifying and amazing to Niall that Lillian loved him like real family. He never really had any connection to her other than being married to her father and yet, after all these years, when Niall had the time to look at James for a prolonged amount of time, he still couldn’t believe that the little boy called him grandpa and Lillian called him dad. He still thinks of that time when Liam proposed at his birthday party at the nursing home; how bitter he felt when he found out that Lillian was Liam’s daughter and how guilty Lillian might have felt when she saw Niall’s expression of sudden resentment.

 

It was most probably the reason why he tended to spoil Lillian; and James as well. It was the best way to show Lillian that he loved her like a real daughter. It was the reason why he kept convincing Liam to finally let Lillian go off on her own. He didn’t want to be the wicked stepmother from _Cinderella_ – he wanted to be the kind of father Zayn had been to her.

 

That reminded Niall to visit Zayn and Perrie at Bradford sometime when he gets a week off.

 

Niall stood up and went to the kitchen to finish the last of the dishes and cutlery. As he was placing the dishes back to the cabinets, James called out to him from the couch. He was still wondering if Niall’s hair was just like Finn’s. “Maybe…but his is longer than mine,” was Niall’s sweet reply.

 

He heard the bedroom door close and Niall headed back to the living room. “Turn the telly off now, James. We’re going to the park.” Niall said, grabbing his keys of the house and his wallet from the counter. James did so obediently and excitedly. He pushed the off button on the remote and jumped off the couch when the television screen went pitch black and the living room became quieter.

 

Liam hurried down the stairs, buttoning his shirt on his way down. Niall looked surprised to see what Liam was wearing: a black long sleeved shirt with silver outlines, a pair of skinny jeans and grey slip-ons – the outfit Louis bought him to wear at Niall’s birthday eight years ago.

 

“Why are you wearing that?” asked Niall while putting his coat on.

 

“Oh, so this,” Liam motioned to the shirt he was wearing, “Is a one-time outfit then?”

 

“No, no, no… I didn’t mean it that way.” Niall looked at him apologetically, “You only wear that in special occasions so…what’s the occasion?”

 

“You’re kidding, right? Is this another one of your jokes?”

 

“No…” Niall looked at Liam, confused, “I have no idea, really.”

 

“You do know that tomorrow’s Christmas, right?”

 

“Yes…that’s why we’re going to the park and then go last minute shopping.”

 

“I can’t believe you forgot what today is. And I bet you haven’t even phoned him yet either.”

 

“Him?”

 

“Oh my God, Niall! Where’s your head today? I can’t believe you forgot what today is!”

 

“Then tell me!”

 

“It’s Louis’ birthday!”

 

Niall felt something hot sear through his skin, making him flinch upon hearing Louis’ name. He’s been busy the entire week that he forgot something important. It wasn’t like him to be that way. Maybe he was getting old… Maybe his grey matter was getting rusty already for him to forget Louis’ birthday like that.

 

His hand slowly moved to his pocket, reaching for his phone tucked in there. Liam’s eyes moved with Niall’s hand and noticed what he was going to do. “Don’t bother,” said Liam, “I’ve already called him when I arrived at the airport.” But Niall insisted, “I want to greet him myself…”

 

“I already said I called Louis… I told him you said happy birthday too.”

 

“But I still wanna tell him. I-I just wanna–”

 

“I’ve already told you not to bother! I’ve already talked to Louis and–”

 

Liam held back what was left of his sentence. Only then did he notice that he was shouting at Niall; he became irritated with Niall. Everyone was silent – Niall was looking blankly somewhere else while James looked at the two of them confusedly. “Niall…” he mustered himself to call him.

 

Niall sucked in some air, resisting the temptation to let the salty liquid fall down his cheeks. “Okay…” he said shakily, “I’ll just get something upstairs.” He hurriedly went away and went up the stairs. As he closed the door of their bedroom, that’s when the tears decided to fall. It was the first time Liam got angry with him like that; but Niall told himself it was his fault entirely. His fault, not Liam’s.

 

“Grandpa Li, are you two fighting?” Liam looked down to James who was twisting while his hands fiddled with themselves behind his back. He knelt down and smiled forcefully at the little boy, “Of course not, kiddo. Me and your Grandpa Ni were just talking…”

 

“Are you two gonna end up like what happened to some of my classmates’ parents?”

 

“No, no,” Liam shook his head; that would never happen to them – he won’t let it happen, “Nothing like that’s going to happen to the two of us, James.”

 

“Then why were you fighting?” asked James again.

 

“We’re not fighting, James. I told you that we were just talking.”

 

“Do people need to shout sometimes when they talk?” asked James with curiosity.

 

Liam sighed, “I may have gone overboard, kiddo. Don’t worry, I’ll talk to your Grandpa Ni – sweetly this time.” James smiled and stopped fiddling his fingers, “Okay.” The little boy walked slowly and sat down the couch again. In his little mind, he knew he was going to wait. It’ll take a while for his grandparents to talk much like when his parents fought too. They always lied when he asks them if they were fighting. They tell him it was just a misunderstanding, or they were just talking…

 

“I’ll go to your Grandpa Ni now, James. Why don’t you watch some TV? I’m sure that yellow dog is still on.” Liam said, briskly walking to the stairs. “Okay,” said James again; he grabbed the remote and turned on the TV. The sound of the TV drowned Liam’s footsteps as he ascended the stairs. When he reached the bedroom door, he knocked twice.

 

“Niall?” He knocked again. No answer.

 

He turned the doorknob to find it open. “Niall, I just wanna talk about–”

 

Sitting on the farthest corner of their bedroom, Niall was playing with his wedding ring along with his engagement ring. He was holding them up to the light coming from the window before his attention moved to Liam who entered the room. Niall quickly slipped them back into his fingers, wiping the last of the tears that fell from his eyes. He stood up, hurriedly composing himself, and took a deep breath before facing Liam with a smile.

 

“You alright?” Liam closed the door behind him, sighing from the guilty feeling building inside of him for making Niall cry again after a long time.

 

“I’m fine,” Niall faked another smile, “I just haven’t been that sentimental in a while.” He laughed after jokingly adding the last sentence.

 

Niall missed the times when he and Liam were always together. There was no ocean and land that separated them for miles. Maybe it was better if they didn’t see each other in a long time like maybe… 18 years again? Or just ten? Five? Maybe then they’ll be sweet to each other again like before. But Niall knew that experience eight years ago won’t happen again. It would take a time machine for that to happen – and he’ll be dead once a human would invent such a contraption.

 

Liam just too busy with work and what’s worse is that his work is in London. He’s always in Europe half the time and was only home when there’s not too much work in the office: weekends, holidays, birthdays, and rare occasions when Liam decides to do his work at their house in San Diego. Niall accepted that Liam was stressed out… There was no spark disappearing, no flame dying. Just tired.

 

Maybe tired not only of work but tired of going back and forth two continents as well because Niall didn’t want to leave his work in the nursing home. What’s more is that Niall planned to tell Liam that he was deciding to go in a partnership with his friends in a restaurant venture. Judging by how things are going right now, that plan’s hope of being a reality is slowly fading away like vapour.

 

Nobody said it would be easy, nobody said it would be quite hard either. But Niall felt disappointment in himself for even doubting. Doubting when he should be grateful that Liam was still there; that Liam still loved him and still went home to him; that Liam never replaced him with someone else. It seems a happily ever after is not easy to attain. Nothing was a fairy tale ending – even when you’ve loved each other from the first time your eyes met.

 

“I’m sorry…” said Liam.

 

“For what?” asked Niall, even though he knew the answer.

 

“For yelling at you.”

 

“It’s okay, Liam,” lied Niall, “That’s nothing to be sorry about. It was my fault in the first place–”

 

“It’s not okay, Niall…” Liam went really close to Niall, holding his hands, “There’s no excuse for me for doing that. I-I’m sorry; I was just so stressed out that I forgot that I was talking to you. I forgot to understand that you were busy too. You had many things in your mind as well.”

 

“But–” Liam held his finger on Niall’s lips.

 

“To get angry with you for forgetting Louis’ birthday is just pathetic of me. Please don’t think that my love for you fading Niall because it’s not. I love you and I always will; just like how that gold will never be corrupted. I vowed to love you no matter what. Though I may not be perfect, I’ll do the best I can to make you happy… whatever the Payne.”

 

Niall smiled, “You should’ve said that at our wedding. Louis and Harry would’ve laughed at the last part.”

 

“Well, I didn’t,” Liam held Niall’s cheeks with his hands, “Maybe because that wasn’t the perfect time. But right now is…”

 

“Right… You should yell at me more often.” Niall whispered before Liam pulled him closer for a kiss.

 

He broke off the kiss and smirked, “You should cry more often…” added Liam.

 

Liam grabbed Niall’s hips and pressed him closely, no amount of space between their bodies. He dived in and kissed Niall hungrily which made the younger groan. Niall opened his mouth to let Liam in; their tongues played with each other as Liam carried Niall to their bed.

 

Knowing what was going to happen next, Niall made a grunting noise but Liam couldn’t hear it. They fell down the bed which gave a slight creaking sound. When Liam slid his hand under Niall’s shirt, Niall grabbed Liam’s hand and they broke off the kiss. Liam looked at him confused, wondering what he did wrong. Both still flushed red, Niall whispered, “James’ waiting for us downstairs…” Liam nodded, a slight disappointment plastered on his face. When he was about stand up, Niall pulled him down again and whispered seductively into Liam’s ear, “We can always continue this…later.” He licked Liam’s earlobe and the older responded with a moan.

 

“You only made it worse, Niall.” Liam looked a bit uncomfortable.

 

“What did I make worse?” asked Niall.

 

Liam glanced down his pants and sighed. “Really? You’re that hard up?” asked Niall, noticing that Liam was still on top of his and that they hadn’t moved. Liam nodded, “A whole week, Niall.”

 

Niall’s eyes widened, “You mean you didn’t even…”

 

“No.” Liam answered, embarrassed to even say it.

 

“Well then,” Niall smirked, “I guess we’ll have to do something about that…”

 

……..

 

It was already past five when they finished shopping and taking James to the San Diego zoo. As they walked down past the Timken Museum, a familiar figure stood there waiting for them. It was the first time Niall had seen him wear glasses and he found that the eyewear suited him (everything does). “What’s he doing here?” asked Liam. Niall shrugged, “Dunno…But I’m having a funny feeling.”

 

A brown haired woman appeared beside him, wearing a bright smile on her face. James looked at the two people who were looking at them, not knowing who they were for it was the first time he would ever see them. “Aw, he looks a lot like your husband, Master Niall!” commented the woman, “The curls remind me of–”

 

The man nudged the woman who gave the man in glasses an annoyed look, “Fine! I’ll keep her out of the subject, Argo! Jeez…” Argo looked apologetically at Niall, “Sorry about that, Master Niall.”

 

Niall shook his head, “No, no. That’s alright, Argo… Eleanor… From the pictures I’ve seen, James does look a bit like Danielle – so does Lillian.” He glanced around, looking for a particular ginger haired person. “So, what brings you here to California?”

 

Argo smiled (yes, he does that now), “A Christmas dinner, sir.”

 

“I knew it…” Niall felt that was easy to guess.

 

“Not surprised at all, Master Niall?”

 

“No. But I _was_ surprised it was today.”

 

“Busy schedule, sir. Master Ed’s only free time was today… and so we’re the others.”

 

“Others?” Niall glanced at Liam who pretended not to hear anything. “You knew, didn’t you?”

 

“About what?” asked Liam innocently.

 

“Of course he did, sir,” Argo said, Liam closing his eyes, “He planned the whole thing.”

 

“But not the fighting part…” said Liam to Niall, “That was–”

 

“–an inconvenience.” Ed slowly walked beside his two assistants, “You were taking too long so I decided to check. Let’s talk about this over dinner – everybody’s waiting. And I also have to wake up early tomorrow…”

 

Niall and Liam followed Ed to The Prado Restaurant. In one of the long outside tables, everyone was there waiting for them: Louis and Harry sat beside each other, grinning at Niall and Liam like always; Erika held on Zac’s hand while her other hand served as a bookmark for the pocketbook she was reading; James happily sat on Lillian’s lap and Dean ruffled his son’s hair, making the little boy laugh; Zayn smiled and nodded at the two of them, his eyes sparkled still as he did so, and Perrie’s eyes narrowed at Liam, who was smiling, which made the Liam retreat a little and lose the smile – her look meant that Zayn already told her what happened.

 

As they finished off their dinner, Ed cleared his throat and glanced at his watch. “I guess it’s time for me to go, guys. I have some business early tomorrow in London. Merry Christmas!” He brought out from beside his seat gifts for all of them, “It’s the least I can do, of course…”

 

“The least you could do?” Niall stared at him unbelieving yet still smiling, “The dinner was too much already.”

 

“Oh come on, even now you’re still not getting the hang of me doing this every Christmas?” Ed handed his gift to James; the little boy happily tearing it apart already, Lillian continuously telling her son to slow down or it might break.

 

“No.” Niall took the gift Ed was handing to him, “And what’s this?”

 

“Best not open that here though…” warned Ed.

 

“Alright then…” Niall gave Ed a hug, “Thank you.”

 

After Ed handed everyone their presents, they all stood up and headed for the parking lot to their cars. As they walked, Zac quickly took Niall by the arms, “I have something to ask you…”

 

“What is it?” asked Niall, “And how are you and Erika?”

 

Zac blushed a little, “We’re fine… Anyway, I was thinking of leaving the diary in the library and–”

 

“You’re planning on doing that? Why not just keep in your attic?”

 

“No way. The bugs will eat it to shreds. And I’ve already have copies of it made – just in case.”

 

“Why are you asking permission then?”

 

“I don’t know… Well, it’s your story after all so I think you get a say in it. I don’t just wanna leave it there for other people to red but then it turns out you’re not comfortable with it.”

 

“I’m fine with it, Zac. But to change the subject, Harry’s been telling me about these guys that look like us… know anything about that?”

 

“Um, yeah, Erika’s been talking about it – she even made a blog about them.”

 

“Jealous?” Niall smirked.

 

“No…” Zac turned red, “Anyway, they’re singers. They’re contestants in this show in the UK called _The X Factor_.”

 

“Oh yeah, I’ve watched that show once… I think the episode I watched was auditions.”

 

“Everyone – mostly girls – at school talks about them all the time. They have these blogs and they write stories about them.”

 

“Oh cool, I write fan fictions remember?”

 

“Yeah, I know. I’ve read some of them. Back to the main topic, they really do look like you guys – but the younger versions, of course. They placed third in the finals last year and Erika was screaming at the TV when that happened. From what I’ve heard from her, they going to have a tour here in America – one of the venues: here in San Diego.”

 

“You seem know a lot about them, Zac.”

 

“Having a girlfriend who’s crazy about them helps a lot.”

 

“Well, I’ll be looking forward in their visit here, come face to face with my look-alike.”

 

“Maybe Erika would ask you to come with her…” Zac grinned.

 

Niall rolled his eyes, “And hear her scream frivolously by my ear? Ugh, I’ll be needing a hearing aid after that concert.”

 

“Yes, there’ll be a thousand and more shrills of fans around you – how wonderful to be there when that happens.” Zac said sarcastically.

 

“That sounded bitter in some way…”

 

“Sort of does, doesn’t it? But I kinda like them too – they’re cool.”

 

……..

 

As they drove back to their house, Liam kept glancing at Niall. “Eyes on the road, Li. Why do you keep staring at me all the time?” Niall hesitated opening his present and decided to open it when they got home. After he placed the present back into the shopping bag, Liam glanced at him again, “I keep staring at you because you look just like that boy from the picture Harry showed me at dinner.”

 

“Oh so Harry _did_ tell you about that too…”

 

“Yeah. Oh, by the way, aren’t you going to open your present?” Liam pointed at the small square wrapped in green and orange paper with a white ribbon around it.

 

“I’ll open it when we get home.”

 

“Open it already! I’m sure whatever Ed gave you is amazing…”

 

Convinced by Liam’s words, Niall took the present from the shopping bag and gently took off the wrappings; underneath was a paper envelope for CDs. On the front was collage made from pictures of him. A photoshopped cut-out half-body picture of Niall was on the left side of the front while on the top right corner was the title of the CD: _Snowflakes in September_.

 

Niall took out the CD and played it on the player in the car. The first voice they heard was Ed asking if they were all set, talking to other people; then there was Argo’s voice saying that all the systems were okay and then they heard Niall’s voice…

 

_Niall: Promise me you’re not going to let other people hear this?_

_Ed: Oh sure… Just for fun, Nialler._

_Niall: Okay…um…this one first?_

_Ed: Yup. You did pick that, didn’t you?_

_Niall: Yeah…Oh God, I’m nervous…_

_Ed: Relax! We’re just singing!_

 

The music started playing, Niall strumming the guitar.

 

_Niall: Like this?_

_Ed: You’re fine, Niall. Don’t ask me everything even if you know the answer…_

_Niall: Okay…here goes._

_I didn’t know what I would find_

_When I went looking for a reason_

_I know I didn’t read between the lines_

_And, baby, I’ve got nowhere to go_

_I tried to take the road less travelled by_

_But nothing seems to work the first few times_

_Am I right?_

_So how can I ever try to be better?_

_Nobody ever lets me in_

_I can still see you, this ain’t the best view_

_On the outside looking in_

_I’ve been a lot of lonely places_

_I’ve never been on the outside_

_You saw me there, but never knew_

_That I would give it all up to be_

_A part of this, a part of you_

_And now it's all too late so you see_

_You could've helped if you had wanted to_

_But no one notices until it's too_

_Late to do anything_

_So how can I ever try to be better?_

_Nobody ever lets me in_

_I can still see you, this ain’t the best view_

_On the outside looking in_

_I’ve been a lot of lonely places_

_I’ve never been on the outside_

 

Claps can be heard from the distance; Niall’s giggling can be heard, although he was trying to supress it. Glancing out the window of the car, Niall was surprised they were already home. “That was some singing, Niall.”

 

“Thanks, Li.”

 

“Any inspiration at that time?” Liam turned off the car engine and they both stepped out into the garage. Niall shook his head, “I can think of only one… But he thought I was dead until eight years ago.”

 

Liam paused from walking to look back at Niall. The younger one inched closer to Liam and rested his head on Liam’s shoulder. “I haven’t told you about that, haven’t I?”

 

“Told me what, Ni?” Liam nuzzled on Niall’s hair, noticing the change in Niall’s tone.

 

“How I used to sing my heart out with Ed… How I tried to patch that empty hole in me with other things but it was no use. I cried at night, Liam. Ed would always try his best not to get mad at me and understand what I was going through: he would talk to me, sing to me until I feel okay again, or, in more serious occasions, assure me that I’ll meet you again. But the hole was still there…”

“Why tell me now of all times, Niall?”

 

“I don’t know. That song just made me remember those days…”

 

“Well, those days aren’t going to happen again okay, Ni?” Liam cupped Niall’s chin, “And that thing that happened this afternoon, well, I’ve already told you that I love you but I’ll never stop or get tired of saying it and showing it to you. It’s the least I could do after all those years we weren’t together.”

 

“I love you forever…” Niall murmured.

 

Liam took Niall’s lips with his own and they began to kiss slowly. The younger hung his arms around Liam’s neck, their kissing heating up. It was like the first time they kissed only it was better because they both knew they’ll be in each other’s arms even until the end of their lives.

 

Niall opened his eyes to find Liam’s brown ones looking at him. Liam broke the kiss, smiled, and planted his lips on Niall’s forehead before looking into Niall’s crystal blue eyes once again.

 

“I love you forever too…”

 

**THE END**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song used: "The Outside" by Taylor Swift


End file.
